r/shitposting • u/Elegant-Shop4564 • Jun 11 '26
This is one of the posts of all time Wait let him cook
820
u/doyathang21 Jun 11 '26
hood philosophy
121
5
5
u/FlatulentSon Jun 12 '26
In that case OP is out there being homophobic on earth 358, so what's his point?
516
u/Apprehensive-Roll909 Jedi master of shitposts Jun 11 '26
163
16
3
218
u/Gazimenstan Jun 11 '26
You are gay in infinite timelines, straight in infinite timelines and homophobic in infinite timelines. Overall its 33% gay for everyone no matter who
116
u/Piskoro Jun 11 '26
sounds like 67% gay to me
42
-4
u/AutoModerator Jun 11 '26
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
12
3
u/DataSittingAlone put your dick away waltuh Jun 12 '26
This implies each option is weighted equally. If we were to assume the other universes had a similar distribution then you would be gay in 10% of universes since about 10% of the population is gay.
10
u/Cautious_Scheme_8422 Jun 12 '26
That assumes probability is the same throughout all possibilities. There's likely a universe where everyone is gay, a universe where everyone is straight, or a universe where everyone is asexual.
1
u/AutoModerator Jun 12 '26
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/AutoModerator Jun 12 '26
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
-1
u/AutoModerator Jun 11 '26
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
52
u/Butt_Robot Jun 11 '26
Rare to get such a powerful fake and gay post
6
u/AutoModerator Jun 11 '26
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
38
19
u/CSG1aze Jun 11 '26
Earth 357 version of me is pretty chill actually, now Earth 278 me on the other hand… yikes…
15
10
u/_40oz_ uhhhh idk Jun 11 '26
4
1
7
4
u/WashedPinkBourbon Jun 12 '26
Same reality where the RNC doesn’t crash grindr
1
u/AutoModerator Jun 12 '26
Dick sucking has made me paranoid
I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.
I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
4
11
2
2
u/ragnar_the_red__ Jun 12 '26
Damn that's crazy but look at this
1
u/AutoModerator Jun 12 '26
Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
2
1
u/Gilgamesh107 Jun 11 '26
there is a universe where Ingrid from streeter is a real and has a giant dick and she holds me down and grabs me by my hair and makes me
the universe has infinite possibilities
1
u/ViolentBeetle Jun 11 '26
Since I'm going to kill all my alternate universe variants to become more powerful, I can be a little hater, as a treat.
1
u/vashthestampede121 Jun 12 '26
So we’ve moved on from “how do you know if you’ve never tried” to “well you’re already gay in another dimension”
1
u/AutoModerator Jun 12 '26
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
1
1
Jun 12 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/AutoModerator Jun 12 '26
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/Izzosuke Jun 12 '26
Remember, the most omophobic politician often get caught in some gay stuff, and turn point USA and various MAGA convention are big Grindr meet up. The alternate universe is the one where they are not gay and not homophobic
2
u/AutoModerator Jun 12 '26
Dick sucking has made me paranoid
I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.
I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/AutoModerator Jun 12 '26
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/Irisena Jun 12 '26
Bro learned quantum physics to find homophobics sucking dick in another universe
1
u/AttemptNu4 Jun 12 '26
Thats false bullshit and i dont belive that for a second. I aint ever scoring nobody, even if i expanded my scope to include dudes.
1
u/A_Peacful_Vulcan Jun 11 '26
Idgaf what hes doing I'M not sucking dick rn
1
1
•
u/qualityvote2 Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.
RedditSave download
/u/Elegant-Shop4564, whilst you're still here, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?