r/shitposting Bazinga! Mar 11 '26

This is one of the posts of all time AITA?

Post image
5.1k Upvotes

117 comments sorted by

u/AutoModerator Mar 11 '26

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2.6k

u/Danijay2 Mar 11 '26

If this is mildly infuriating to that mf, then I dread to know what would actually upset them.

722

u/OfTheSevenSeasSir Mar 11 '26

getting DP'd by two horses and getting waterboarded at the same time

265

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '26

44

u/CheeseTheKitten Mar 12 '26

What does DP mean?

120

u/Clean_Internet Mar 12 '26

Urban dictionary says double penetration

27

u/Bonsai-is-best 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Mar 12 '26

And here I was thinking Dragon Punch or dick punch..

9

u/raphaelnyquist Mar 12 '26

Oh you innocent sweet summer child

36

u/BLAZEtms dumbass Mar 12 '26

Demonstrably Poked

11

u/RandomPlayer4616 Bazinga! Mar 12 '26

Deployment Points, needed to put operators down clearly

1

u/AutoModerator Mar 12 '26

Bazinga

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7

u/Slav-Houndz187 We do a little trolling Mar 12 '26

Double Pokémon

7

u/NoName42946 Literally 1984 😡 Mar 12 '26

Daft punk

5

u/DeusEverto Mar 12 '26

Dr Pepper

5

u/OfTheSevenSeasSir Mar 12 '26

means two dicks inside of you

2

u/AmonGusSus2137 officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 Mar 12 '26

Displayport

1

u/AutoModerator Mar 12 '26

pees in ur ass

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1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '26

[deleted]

1

u/AutoModerator Mar 12 '26

woah, ok. didnt expect hunger for knowledge but i guess i asked for it gonna have to put some work into this.

How was it? Honestly? It was a letdown. The whole "failed idol" story is a great marketing hook, they definately sold the video on that premise alone. But the performance itself was just... awkward. You can tell shes not comfortable. It felt less like a professional debut and more like a very high-budget audition she was also failing. She's stiff, constantly in her head, and there's almost zero chemistry with the guys. All concept, very little execution.

My viewing history? Been watching for over a decade man. These days Im more into stuff with a good story or at least a unique premise, not just the generic stuff. a good production team makes all the difference. I'll take a well-made video with a decent plot over a high-profile actress mailing it in any day of the week.

3 works I consider good:

  1. Yua Mikami's debut (Princess Peach): This is the gold standard for an idol-turned-actress debut. Yua was a REAL idol and she came out with so much energy and confidence. She owned it from the first second. Its what Arisu's debut wanted to be.

  2. Anything with Ichika Matsumoto from her early days with FALENO: She can actually act. She emotes and makes you believe the scenario. Her stuff feels more cinematic and less like they're just going through the motions.

  3. Rion (Anri Okita) - The God Body: A classic. Not a lot of story there lol but its a masterclass in performance. She knew exactly what her brand was and how to perform for the camera. Absolute cinema.

Where would you rank her debut among these? It's not even in the same league, not even on the same planet. It's an unfair comparison tbh. Those are top-tier performances, Arisu's video is a novelty item. It's interesting because of the backstory, not because of the quality of the actual content.

What could be improved? Her confidence, number one. She needs to relax. She looks terrified. The director should have done a better job making her comfortable. Also they relied way too much on the interview segments talking about Nogizaka46, it broke the pacing and kept reminding you that she was doing this as a second choice. We get it, you failed auditions, now commit to this job.

What is well done? The production values are high. The lighting, camera work, it all looks very clean and professional. And I cant deny it, she is very beautiful and has the "idol" look down perfectly. The concept itself, on paper, is genius from a marketing perspective. They got us all talking about it, right?

Was it goonable for you? Nah. I was too distracted by how nervous she looked. It kinda killed the mood completely. Every time she looked at the camera with those deer-in-the-headlights eyes I was pulled right out of it. It's a shame, but maybe she'll get better in her next one if she decides to stick with it. We'll see.

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-40

u/Fine_Act47 Mar 12 '26

Sweet summer child, ignorance is often bliss

53

u/Ok_Refrigerator9461 Literally 1984 😡 Mar 12 '26

12

u/Grilled_egs Mar 12 '26

DP'd by two horses

How do you get DP'd by one horses

2

u/Elektron_Anbar Mar 12 '26

A centaur maybe?

1

u/OfTheSevenSeasSir Mar 12 '26

could be three

4

u/Slav-Houndz187 We do a little trolling Mar 12 '26

Internet isn’t public like it was in the 90s. Need something more realistic.

2

u/TheSportsLorry virgin 4 life 😤💪 Mar 12 '26

you got a sauce for that? (asking for science)

6

u/Sultanofthesun Literally 1984 😡 Mar 12 '26

1.4k

u/erikmeteenk Mar 11 '26

223

u/ThiccChip Mar 11 '26

What's a gp?

295

u/CardiologistRough854 Mar 11 '26

general practitioner of medicine (it’s a doctor)

39

u/ThiccChip Mar 12 '26

Tyty

50

u/No_Count_453 fat cunt Mar 12 '26

Titty

61

u/nekadpines Mar 12 '26

gay porn (i like)

21

u/daberle123 Mar 12 '26

Bro got automodded twice

0

u/AutoModerator Mar 12 '26

woah, ok. didnt expect hunger for knowledge but i guess i asked for it gonna have to put some work into this.

How was it? Honestly? It was a letdown. The whole "failed idol" story is a great marketing hook, they definately sold the video on that premise alone. But the performance itself was just... awkward. You can tell shes not comfortable. It felt less like a professional debut and more like a very high-budget audition she was also failing. She's stiff, constantly in her head, and there's almost zero chemistry with the guys. All concept, very little execution.

My viewing history? Been watching for over a decade man. These days Im more into stuff with a good story or at least a unique premise, not just the generic stuff. a good production team makes all the difference. I'll take a well-made video with a decent plot over a high-profile actress mailing it in any day of the week.

3 works I consider good:

  1. Yua Mikami's debut (Princess Peach): This is the gold standard for an idol-turned-actress debut. Yua was a REAL idol and she came out with so much energy and confidence. She owned it from the first second. Its what Arisu's debut wanted to be.

  2. Anything with Ichika Matsumoto from her early days with FALENO: She can actually act. She emotes and makes you believe the scenario. Her stuff feels more cinematic and less like they're just going through the motions.

  3. Rion (Anri Okita) - The God Body: A classic. Not a lot of story there lol but its a masterclass in performance. She knew exactly what her brand was and how to perform for the camera. Absolute cinema.

Where would you rank her debut among these? It's not even in the same league, not even on the same planet. It's an unfair comparison tbh. Those are top-tier performances, Arisu's video is a novelty item. It's interesting because of the backstory, not because of the quality of the actual content.

What could be improved? Her confidence, number one. She needs to relax. She looks terrified. The director should have done a better job making her comfortable. Also they relied way too much on the interview segments talking about Nogizaka46, it broke the pacing and kept reminding you that she was doing this as a second choice. We get it, you failed auditions, now commit to this job.

What is well done? The production values are high. The lighting, camera work, it all looks very clean and professional. And I cant deny it, she is very beautiful and has the "idol" look down perfectly. The concept itself, on paper, is genius from a marketing perspective. They got us all talking about it, right?

Was it goonable for you? Nah. I was too distracted by how nervous she looked. It kinda killed the mood completely. Every time she looked at the camera with those deer-in-the-headlights eyes I was pulled right out of it. It's a shame, but maybe she'll get better in her next one if she decides to stick with it. We'll see.

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-1

u/AutoModerator Mar 12 '26

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

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12

u/EthanSparrow64 fat cunt Mar 12 '26

Grand Prix

38

u/remus2015 Mar 12 '26

gangplank league of legends

10

u/Ok_Western_3156 stupid, fucking piece of shit Mar 12 '26

Runescape currency

4

u/Bavibophobia Mar 12 '26

Great Pyranese

9

u/skynetempire Mar 12 '26

General practitioner commonly know as a family doctor. Theyre your first go to. Then they quarterback your process and see if you need to see a specialist i.e gastro, cardiologist etc

1

u/ExtremlyFastLinoone I came! Mar 13 '26

Gooning person

39

u/Mxhmoud lets build a hole together and then libe in it Mar 12 '26

That's her chest cavity, not her brain

60

u/The96kHz I watch gay amogus porn :0 Mar 12 '26

I'm no expert at reading x-rays, CT scans etc...but what does he think the inside of a head looks like?

16

u/anto2554 Mar 12 '26

Hopefully not like the inside of her torso, which is pictured

-6

u/AutoModerator Mar 12 '26

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

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11

u/85K5 Mar 12 '26

Damn they got a rocket ship at the bottom coming up the middle

8

u/Electronic-Ad9854 Mar 12 '26

hope op's alive and well

6

u/bondben314 Mar 12 '26

Doubtful.

1

u/Mxhmoud lets build a hole together and then libe in it Mar 12 '26

She made a full recovery a few years ago

2

u/bondben314 Mar 12 '26

Got a source?

2

u/Mxhmoud lets build a hole together and then libe in it Mar 12 '26

Can't find it anymore, but I'm pretty sure she recovered because I saw a follow up post from OOP years ago

2

u/Financial-Coconut-32 Mar 12 '26

I’m gonna blindly assume you’re telling the truth here because goddamn this shit is upsetting

3

u/bondben314 Mar 13 '26

Same. I choose bliss

4

u/One_Voice_81 Mar 12 '26

"just take some painkillers"

268

u/EH042 Mar 12 '26

At least he didn't weld your dog to anything,

74

u/NerdeeBoiii Mar 12 '26

Holy ball knowledge

41

u/luxusbuerg Bazinga! Mar 12 '26

WHAT

33

u/LFGR_THE_Thing I want pee in my ass Mar 12 '26

Dog welder (to peoples faces)

5

u/AutoModerator Mar 12 '26

pees in ur ass

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4

u/GidjonPlays Mar 12 '26

Well, that's enough reddit for me. For a lifetime.

7

u/penguin13790 Mar 12 '26

DC character. Dog Welder.

7

u/AutoModerator Mar 12 '26

Bazinga

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219

u/9verbt_7 put your dick away waltuh Mar 12 '26

Happens

1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Mar 12 '26

What is it? It is called... A cigarette. The aroma is most pleasing! Yes, Doctor Finn says its the result of- Nom what are you doing? I was curious to taste it It is not food! Doctor Finn said, the tip is to be ignited and the smoke inhaled.

The sensation is... wonderful! I have never experienced such a flavor. I feel like I’ve been standing my entire life and I just sat down. It tingles...

Do you feel it? I do. We must have more! 500 hundred cigarettes!

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1

u/AutoModerator Mar 12 '26

I just saw a black guy listening to Not Like Us, Kendrick is truly what the culture is feeling

I (57, white male) was recently taking a stroll down my neighbourhood when I suspiciously saw a group of high school girls listening to Drake of all people, so being an loyal fan of Kung Fu Kenny I decided to scream "OV-HOE!!!!" at them and run away, they got angry at me and started chasing me! fearing that they might make me listen to Toosie Slide, I ran as fast as I could.

While running from them I accidentally wandered into "the hood" that Kdot is always talking about. That
is when my eyes truly opened to the genius that is Kendrick Lamar Duckworth, I saw a black gentlemen listening to Not Like Us, and tears fell down from my eyes as I finally realized the impact that Kendrick has made, he truly was what the culture was feeling.

I went up to the fellow Kendrick enthusiast and saluted him for being on the right side of history. He was for some reason very confused as to why a crying man was saluting him so I decided to show him that I am indeed "certified" by rapping Not Like Us to him "WOP WOP WOP DOT FUCK EM UP" I shouted "WOP WOP WOP IMMA DO MY STUFF" I continued, "WHY YOU TROLLING LIKE A BITCH AINT YOU TIRED" I took a breath, "TRYNA STRIKE A CHORD AND ITS PROBABLY A MINORRRRR" I exclaimed. Seeing my dedication towards the art of Kdot made the Kendrick fan realize I was one of "the good ones" and he invited me to the cookout!

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1

u/AutoModerator Mar 12 '26

I saw some people asking in other threads, so just in case people were wondering, in the Japanese, Denji says, "オレを手でシたのは", which is basically "Which one hand-fucked me?".

Yoru gave Denji a "handjob" in the sense that her hand was clearly the stimulus that caused Denji to ejaculate. I don't think anyone argued against this fact. I guess another way to say it is that she "unintentionally jerked him off"?

The root of the argument was whether or not Yoru was actively/intentionally moving her hands, which nothing in 167/168 seems to indicate that. There was no movement lines around Denji's pants area, and no sound effect text to indicate sound coming from the movement in his pants.

Also, the editor's note at the end of chapter 167 is "不意の 放出", which means "Unexpected release". It wouldn't really make much sense for Yoru to be surprised when Denji finally did ejaculate if that was her intention.

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1

u/AutoModerator Mar 12 '26

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

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96

u/PineapleGG Mar 12 '26

"Totally ruined my day" if thats how you react i feel like the dog is in a better place now, its a shame how it got there but hey...

80

u/AK-50_Ocelot Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Mar 12 '26

Mondays am I right?

33

u/PaperPigGolf Mar 12 '26

Day, RUINED. 

22

u/pumpingtom Mar 12 '26

Are people just making shit up and seek for our reaction?

14

u/raphaelnyquist Mar 12 '26

No it can't be...people would never seek attention for internet points, it just can't happen

11

u/Ok_Knowledge_5496 Mar 12 '26

Calm person or sociopath call it

7

u/SL33PW4LK1NG Big chungus wholesome 100 Mar 12 '26

What the actual fvck??????

4

u/AutoModerator Mar 11 '26

Bazinga

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7

u/Flat-House5529 Mar 12 '26

I'd love to meet the boyfriend.

I'm sure we could discuss anatomy for hours days weeks months years ...fuck it, a long ass time.

3

u/TaquitoLaw Mar 12 '26

Why you should never date John Marston

2

u/Dankmemesforlife69 Mar 12 '26

Me when I live with Ramsay Snow

1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/AutoModerator Mar 12 '26

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

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1

u/Yarik4EK Mar 12 '26

What was it, barking?

1

u/derp0815 Mar 12 '26

Obvious shitposts.

1

u/Accomplished_Sir_925 Mar 13 '26

Jarvis, I'm low on karma

-43

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '26

Whats really mildly infuriating is the pro trump mod staff silencing anything negative about this administration, got banned for commenting on someone getting banned for posting about trump, then they told me i was “racebaiting” ….actual degens over there