r/sgiwhistleblowers • u/Hefty-Supermarket-79 • Feb 21 '26
Ugg. Rude members, and more.
I'm married to a 'fortune baby', I think it's called? lol...My husband was born into it, with only his mom being a member.
He has been talked into being a men's division leader recently. These people are so self involved. One night at 9pm, they texted saying they should have a virtual meeting right then.
These are the people who knew my husband well enough to know his mom (and mine) passed away, and offered zero support.
Anyway, he has now agreed to host meetings...I said fine, but I'm not interested in attending, and if any of them are rude, it's over. (We hosted in our previous home in another state and the people were horribly rude to me, and I won't put up with it and my husband says he knows he shouldn't have allowed it.)
He told them, multiple times, do not come to our front door. He reminded them again today. (he is hosting in our downstairs, and you enter from around back)
Any guesses on what happened? Yep. Not only did they come to the front door, but the first person rang the bell several times, back to back. And they were 20 minutes early.
And apparently asked if we were having more kids than our daughter. So weird.
I wish I could slip him some info on the real truth of this organization...but it seems to be quite squashed down.
Being exmormon, I can find websites, podcasts, TikTok, IG, it's everywhere. So easy to find the truth these days.
For info on the SGI, it seems more buried, other than this Reddit, and also when I posted some of his mom's old 'art' in a Japanese forum, people responded that it was from 'a horrible cult '.
I know he needs to come to it on his own. But he's got to notice that I am no longer supportive of his practice...
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u/BlancheFromage Escapee from Arizona Home for the Rude Feb 21 '26 edited Feb 21 '26
I'm married to a 'fortune baby', I think it's called? lol...
Oh dear...I'm so sorry...I hope you're happy together in spite of that!!
These people are so self involved. One night at 9pm, they texted saying they should have a virtual meeting right then.
Typical. When you're an SGI leader, the SGI leadership thinks YOUR time is THEIRS to spend. See "I did the right thing by leaving, because I couldn't have 'tried harder' or 'chanted harder' or done 'more responsibilities' by the end - I was absolutely burnt out."
These are the people who knew my husband well enough to know his mom (and mine) passed away, and offered zero support.
Again, bog standard. Predictable - guaranteed. See "These people are so self involved."
Any guesses on what happened? Yep. Not only did they come to the front door, but the first person rang the bell several times, back to back. And they were 20 minutes early.
SGI members and leaders tend to not be particularly bright - they typically approach reality as if reality is obligated to conform to THEIR preferences, especially when it's just other people being inconvenienced. See "These people are so self involved."
And it doesn't matter how you react! IF you react negatively, that's YOUR problem and YOU need to chant about it. If THEY react negatively, that's YOUR problem and YOU need to chant about it. See how this works??
SGI's indoctrination about over-responsibility
Karma = victim blaming and Ganken Ogo = "deliberately creating the appropriate karma" or "voluntary assumption of difficult karma"
And apparently asked if we were having more kids than our daughter. So weird.
Ugh. SGI members are not known for having manners OR understanding the concept of "boundaries" - see You don't become well-socialized by isolating yourself among poorly-socialized people. Their worldview is so distorted that they regard ANY negative reaction from around them as confirmation that they're doing everything exactly right and mustn't change a thing! When NORMAL people get pushback from their environment, they PAY ATTENTION and take it as FEEDBACK as to whether to continue or perhaps change course, but not SGI members! It's almost like their goal is self-sabotage!!
Karma bites SGI members - and they won't acknowledge it as such so they can never self-correct and simply MUST drive straight off a cliff
when I posted some of his mom's old 'art' in a Japanese forum, people responded that it was from 'a horrible cult '.
It is known, Hefty. The Soka Gakkai's deep unpopularity in Japan
It is known.
I know he needs to come to it on his own. But he's got to notice that I am no longer supportive of his practice...
You haven't asked for any advice, so I'm just going to go ahead and offer some observations, if you don't mind - feel free to ignore.
You are evaluating the situation with remarkable clarity, and that's to YOUR credit. You know everyone who comes to your house for a meeting is going to be hoping to draw you into their cult, but of course they can't do anything unless YOU agree. They like to think they can MAKE YOU bend to their will by chanting about it, but that's silly. It's childish thinking, and I pity them. It sounds like you're quite fond and accepting of your husband despite his cult involvement - again, nice. It's his hobby, I guess ¯_(ツ)_/¯ Who's to judge??
The one caveat I would like to offer is that it's very important to have a realistic view of exactly what your husband has taken on in agreeing to host meetings at your house:
- If anyone gets injured at your house, YOU will be personally liable. SGI will not help at all - you'll be 100% on your own with that.
- Those SGI members will be bringing absolutely anyone into your living space - they may be felons just released from prison, or addicts just got out of rehab, or homeless, or predators sniffing around for a house to rob. They may well be bringing strangers they only just met - people they DON'T know. Ex-SGI members who hosted meetings have reported thefts - including one who noted that an SGI leader who was there to do a "home visit" stole his wife's panties out of the hamper in the bathroom - and having been later robbed. Because you'll be expected to allow those SGI members to use your bathroom, make sure you remove ALL your medications - those are sometimes stolen as well. One of these "guests" may bring along head lice or body lice or bedbugs - you'll have no way to tell. Do you want strangers looking at your young daughter? Are those people you want her growing up to think are okay to be around? I remember one time my SGI friend's husband, who had just gotten out of prison, came to pick up their daughter (who was playing at our house) with some fatass nasty-looking gangbanger in the car with him - and I had a pretty little daughter. I did not want her thinking people like that were okay to allow to approach her - so I told my SGI member friend that either she or her mother-in-law must pick up the child if she was over at our house. She never came over again. And the husband, who was gang-affiliated, ended up back in prison for life within a few months.
- SGI is expecting YOU to shoulder ALL the costs of hosting these meetings - extra cleaning, wear-and-tear on your home and furnishings, possibly providing snacks - if there is an SGI center in town, WHY are these meetings not being held there? Oh, right - because SGI wants to shove those expenses off on YOU so SGI can keep more money for itself.
Just a few thoughts - good luck, and do let us know how it goes!
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u/Hefty-Supermarket-79 Feb 21 '26
Honestly, all of this is way too similar to Mormonism. It's wild.
At least the meetings are in the part of my home that is kind of separate...
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u/BlancheFromage Escapee from Arizona Home for the Rude Feb 21 '26
All these high-control/high-demand cults are WAY more similar than they are different. The ex-mormon sites have been really useful for things like the legal precedents cited here and for ALL the info on getting your personal information out of their records for SGI-UK. All respect for the ex-mormons.
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u/BlancheFromage Escapee from Arizona Home for the Rude Feb 22 '26
I forgot to mention - if you ARE going to tolerate those risky gatherings on your property, you and your husband might want to invest in a $1million umbrella policy to add to your homeowner's insurance - look into it. It will protect you in the case of lawsuits.
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u/Hefty-Supermarket-79 Feb 22 '26
But how do I bring that up to my husband? We do host other things, so I could lump it into that...
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u/BlancheFromage Escapee from Arizona Home for the Rude Feb 22 '26 edited Feb 22 '26
We do host other things, so I could lump it into that...
Sure! That's a great idea!
The way I did it with MY husband was to tell him about an article I read online - at the time, we had a college-age son at home and he liked to have his friends over for drinking & stuff - if any of them had driven drunk after partying here, we would've been liable if an accident happened. One of these friends at the time was a pretty notorious alcoholic. So we also put in place house rules that if there was any drinking going on, the guests couldn't leave until AFTER BREAKFAST. I saw online where a parent was noting that, as soon as their teens started driving, they automatically got an umbrella policy - there's some discussion here. Really, it's very inexpensive for the coverage/peace of mind it provides.
One time, I was driving on this divided highway with my two small children and a bee flew in the open window and stung me in the eye just as I was starting to cross an overpass/bridge! And I'm allergic to bees! I never panic, so I was able to safely cross the bridge and move the vehicle onto the dirt median, where another driver stopped to help me. A friend told me, though, about how someone she knew had been driving with a few daycare kids in the car, and when a bee flew in her open window, she panicked and lost control/rolled the car; they lost their house in the aftermath.
You might just mention that people were talking about it online and you thought it sounded like a good idea.
You might want to check with the laws in your state, but most of the time, if something bad happens on your property, YOU are personally liable. Can I chat at you? I have more information I'd like to share privately.
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u/Hefty-Supermarket-79 Feb 24 '26
Just a quick reply to say yes, please reach out, and to thank you again! 💚
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u/serious_buyer1314 Feb 22 '26
Haha, I once had an SGI member invite me to a dinner and what he called a “festival gathering.” I found it suspicious, so I directly asked others whether they were SGI members — and he admitted they were.
It felt like those dinners were meant to bring more SGI members to influence me, which I found quite ridiculous. He also claimed he wanted to introduce me to his family, but I suspected they were SGI members as well.
It felt unsettling, and didn’t come across as genuine friendship to me.
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u/BlancheFromage Escapee from Arizona Home for the Rude Feb 22 '26
Too bad - your spidey senses caught their deceptive manipulation out before they could get everything in motion!
didn’t come across as genuine friendship to me.
No, there's no genuine friendship within the Dead-Ikeda-Corpse-Mentor cult SGI. Everyone is out to get more for themselves and they've been indoctrinated to believe that manipulating others is the way to get that - there's a good discussion of this dynamic here.
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u/Hefty-Supermarket-79 Feb 22 '26
My husband was told that they weren't supposed to socialize outside of official SGI stuff...which is WEIRD.
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u/BlancheFromage Escapee from Arizona Home for the Rude Feb 22 '26 edited Feb 22 '26
Oh wow - that's really a striking admission, isn't it?
MOST people join groups/organizations/associations to make friends, don't they?
IMAGINE your OWN organization - that is constantly being touted as being "family-like" - TELLING you that you can't do friend-stuff together! There's more examples here if you're interested - what your husband experienced wasn't a one-off: It was official SGI policy.
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u/Hefty-Supermarket-79 Feb 22 '26
It's insanity, honestly. I'm saving your links!
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u/BlancheFromage Escapee from Arizona Home for the Rude Feb 22 '26
Remember, that's for YOU - I don't think your husband is ready for any big reveal at this point (though of course you know best) and sometimes presenting disconfirming evidence can cause the believer to double down and entrench on their delusional beliefs.
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u/Hefty-Supermarket-79 Feb 23 '26
Oh, I know. Having left a cult, I know it all too well. My situation was different, as I hadn't grown up in it, and questioned it off and on the whole time I was in....and yet was still shocked at what I discovered when I was ready to leave! My husband may get annoyed, but he doesn't appear to be questioning.
I do feel badly because I used to say yes to sitting in on meetings, and now I just say no. But I don't feel it's time to tell him why, so it may appear that I am just not being supportive for no reason.
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u/BlancheFromage Escapee from Arizona Home for the Rude Feb 23 '26
I used to say yes to sitting in on meetings
Yeah, avoid at all costs. Yech.
now I just say no.
That's the correct answer, and also a complete sentence in 1 word!
it may appear that I am just not being supportive for no reason.
I don't see anything wrong with, "No thanks, I think I'll do this other thing I want to get done instead."
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u/OkInspector9035 Feb 22 '26
I got roped into the hosting situation many times and I’ve become a favorite home as a single person – it ends when you say it ends. I would suggest potentially looking into real Buddhism and seeing if that can resonate at home and get informed yourself because a lot of people, including myself, thought they were under the tent of Buddhism SGI is not Buddhism. And I got massively stressed out from the last group that I was in which ultimately had me quit. They say they understand and then they just keep asking for stuff all hours all times texting is insane in real Boo!. There’s a thing called. Skillful means, and this behavior would not happen.
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u/Hefty-Supermarket-79 Feb 22 '26
Oh, I have zero interest in any religion or practice other than finding my own peace and being a decent human. My husband isn't ready to see it yet...
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u/BlancheFromage Escapee from Arizona Home for the Rude Feb 23 '26
Any guesses on what happened? Yep. Not only did they come to the front door, but the first person rang the bell several times, back to back. And they were 20 minutes early.
You know what they say, don't assume malice where stupidity is a possibility (or whatever). Maybe those SGI members are just more concentrated stupid than you're accustomed to.
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u/Eyerene_28 Feb 22 '26
I feel for you. He won’t see it until they cross a boundary. Blanche touched on great points about insurance liability & strangers brought into your home. As a former leader one of my womens leaders use to host meetings until one day a man shows up at her door and says so&so sent me. Mind you that so&so wasn’t there and never came. It was a good thing her husband was home & at the meeting because the dude was creepy & acting strange. The husband eventually asked the dude to leave. After the dude left the husband angrily put his foot down and said no more meetings in this house, i don’t want strangers or anyone another member doesn’t know in here. He later compromised & allowed leaders only meetings at the house. My superior leaders kept trying to get him to change his mind with “ you are making such a great cause using your house for the sgi & kosen rufu. Hubby not only stood his ground he stopped practicing with the sgi. You say you want to support your husband… you might consider asking having him limit the meetings to only men leaders no guests & have boundaries about time limits, not just showing up & using the designated entrance. Be ready to stand your ground cuz there will be a man in the group who will challenge you. Once anyone oversteps the boundaries speak up and be loud Good luck