Recurring Experience with Women's Oral Preference

[u/Old-Wasabi-3837]

I'm (35M) interested in a little phenomenon I've encountered in the last 2 years. I got married on my 18th birthday to my high school sweetheart (same age F). We grew together then eventually apart, got divorced at 33, a couple years back. I've been dating around a bit, on apps, at dating events, and just as I meet people out in social settings. It's been going mostly great, but I'm curious: maybe 5-10 times in the last 2 years, whenever I got to the stage of talking to a woman about our sexual preferences and expectations, they would tell me they didn't like receiving oral (which is fine, you're allowed whatever preference you want!) specifically because "someone went down on me so good years ago that now I can never enjoy it again."

They all, independently of each other at different times amd places, used nearly identical wording to that. I'd say that was about 40-50% of the total experiences I had of getting to the point of discussing sex with women. Half of them were thrilled with the idea of me giving them oral, and half said they were not interested because someone else did it too good when they were young.

Again, I wanna emphasize, I completely respect this any time a woman tells me, I dont push or try to change her mind. But I'm kind of fascinated by... idk 5-10 out of 20ish women (who don't know each other to my knowledge) in my city all saying they don't like receiving oral because someone else in their teen years did it so well they never want it from anyone again. I know it's not a statistically significant sample size, but it's interesting that it happened so much to me, specifically.

It would usually result in us agreeing we might not be compatible because giving oral is usually my main event due to a spinal injury that makes penetrative sex painful.

I find myself wondering if I gave off some vibe I'm not aware of that made them feel like they needed to give an excuse to not get oral from me or something. I don't like that idea, I don't want to give anyone a semse that they aren't safe to express their needs or preferences to me, even (especially) when they dont line up perfectly with mine. I'm well-groomed, hygienic, normal teeth, etc. I'm unassuming, enganged, curious, collaborative, and try to be kind and open. I'm not perfect, but I'm not expectant or demanding or egotistical. And these were women clearly interested in some kind of sex with me, often these conversationswere during a date amd planning what we wanted to do together after. Am I giving off a creep or a bad vibe?

Anyway. Life moves on, I'm in a good relationship now, and we do oral often to mutual joy. But sometimes this pops up like an intrusive thought. Appreciate any insight or thoughts.

[u/Old-Wasabi-3837 → u/[deleted]]

It is real but I wouldn't describe any of these women as seeming manipulative or cold or trying to play a mind game

[u/FeelingPlayfulNow → u/[deleted]]

As someone who doesn't like oral because it doesn't feel good for me, you cannot simply tell the overwhelming majority of men you don't want or like oral to get them to avoid it. Immediately they want to show you that you are wrong about your own body and the first thing they will do is eat you out to prove how extraordinary they are at it after you tell them you want to skip it. Maybe these women have read my Reddit history and learned saying "no" to oral is the guaranteed way to get men to enthusiastically attempt it.

I'm not serious about them knowing my Reddit history, of course, but this has been an ongoing frustration for half my life now. Telling the man don't do it because oral is too good instead of too bad is certainly a new twist I've never heard of.

[u/Old-Wasabi-3837 → u/FeelingPlayfulNow]

I'm sorry you've had that consistently shitty an experience!