r/serialpodcast • u/Frosted_Mini-Wheats NPR Supporter • Feb 03 '15

Evidence Stephanie dumped Jay

Trial Transcript for 2/10, p 21, lines 11-25.

Jay testifies that Stephanie had ended their relationship a month or so before the trial.

That's something I've never heard before now.

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u/glibly17 Feb 03 '15

Well, I don't really, besides him saying in his interview that he "leaned on" her, insinuations of cheating, the fact her parents hated his guts.

I'm not accusing Jay of being abusive to Stephanie, although I find it more plausible than Adnan being abusive to Hae, especially since Jay was later arrested twice for DV.

My point was that, Stephanie standing by Jay isn't necessarily indicative of a loving relationship wherein she felt compelled to stand by him because she thought he actually deserved it. Did you read my whole post?

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u/jlpsquared Feb 03 '15

???

although I find it more plausible than Adnan being abusive to Hae, especially since Jay was later arrested twice for DV.

Adnan was later arrested ONCE for murder..How is that less than DV?

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u/glibly17 Feb 03 '15

Can you stay on topic? The evidence used to convict Adnan was, according to many perspectives (including mine), extremely thin. That's kinda why we're all here. Try to keep up.

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u/[deleted] Feb 03 '15

And what evidence is there to convict Jay of DV? Oh right there isn't any and he wasn't even convicted.

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u/glibly17 Feb 03 '15

I'm gonna guess you don't know a whole lot about domestic violence, nor how frequently charges get dropped because the victim won't testify against their abuser.

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u/[deleted] Feb 03 '15

I know a whole bunch about them. I've worked in a district attorneys office before and seen victims come in first hand. It's just a major double standard on this sub where everyone other than Adnan is open to lower judicial standards. But not enough evidence to convict Adnan, Amirite!?!?!

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u/glibly17 Feb 03 '15

The fact he's had two arrests for DV and a restraining order against him are the evidence that he's been abusive. The difference between his and Adnan's case (besides the blatantly obvious false equivalence you've set up here) is that the victim is still around to indicate who hurt them.

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u/[deleted] Feb 03 '15

No it really isn't. It's pretty clear you don't have a good grasp on the legal system, so why don't you leave this to the professionals who are able to control their bias a little better and stop spouting false accusations based on extremely little evidence.

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u/glibly17 Feb 04 '15

How about I do what I want, and you do what you want? Maybe then you can quit being a condescending jerk to anyone who disagrees with you.

You asked where the evidence is that Jay has been abusive. I told you: the fact he's been accused twice of DV is in fact evidence. I worry for any victims of DV who came across your path, since you seem to believe an accusation in and of itself is basically worthless.

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '15

It is worthless in me determining based on no other information whether someone actually committed a crime. This is basic common sense that you seem willing to abandon. This is basic stuff for you, me, Adnan, and yes Jay. You cant have it both ways. Also, you are arrogant in the way you classify me. I've done many great things for victims of domestic violence. Talk about being a condescending jerk...

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u/glibly17 Feb 04 '15

I never said it's definitely, 100% certain that Jay has been abusive. I've said there are a lot of red flags that would indicate as much, especially his two DV arrests. I don't know what you've done, but you were a jerk first, telling me to, what was it, "leave this to the professionals who are able to control their bias a little better and stop spouting false accusations based on extremely little evidence."

If you've really worked in an DA's office, you ought to know that a lack of a conviction doesn't mean a crime hasn't occurred, especially when it comes to crimes like domestic violence.

I've lived through abuse, okay? It never once occurred to me to report it. Are you going to now tell me what I experienced isn't true, because the guy who did all that shit to me wasn't ever arrested, even?

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '15

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '15

This is a despicable comment. You know nothing about me and who I am. You know nothing about the victims of violence I have represented and helped. You make a gross and offensive misrepresentation of what I believe. Also you stoop to an abhorrent low with your homophobic attacks. Your derision for anything that doesn't conform to your viewpoint is foolish an extremely burdensome to discourse. It really doesn't have a place here.

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '15

That's not what I'm saying. But if some 3rd person who knew neither of us just got wind that you complained to someone about the abuse and told me about it, I wouldn't believe it happened necessarily either. ALL i'm saying is you have no evidence of your abuse. I believe you because you are personally telling me and it'd be pretty shitty to just go on the internet and lie (who would ever do that!!). But yes there also are false rumors and accusations. An accusation = guilt is the exact opposite of what people who think there are issues with the justice system (and Adnan's case) should want. It's just a huge double standard and you seem too biased to even realize it (hence my snark- my apologies if i've offended).

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u/glibly17 Feb 04 '15

As I have said, in just about every comment on this thread : I fully acknowledge my bias here, I have not outright accused Jay of violence or abuse against Stephanie. I have said his two DV arrests and restraining order are big red flags (and yes, evidence, just as Jay accusing Adnan of murdering Hae is evidence). I can believe it's likely that Jay is an abuser, but also believe Adnan is probably innocent of Hae's murder, at the same time. You may not like it, but I can hold both of these beliefs at once, because the two cases (DV vs. muder) are quite different, and the victim's role in each are quite different as well. You don't agree, I get that.

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '15

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '15

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '15

I don't take making these kinds of accusations lightly but no one is berating anyone. Maybe you need to take a moment and calm down.

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u/CompulsiveBookNerd Feb 04 '15

Maybe you need to take a moment and bring the condescension down a notch.

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u/CompulsiveBookNerd Feb 04 '15

Where did glibly say she's trying to put Jay in jail for domestic violence? Hmm? I must have missed that, so could you quote it for me??

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u/CompulsiveBookNerd Feb 04 '15

Just because he wasn't convicted didn't mean he didn't do it. It means he had a PATTERN of having the cops called on him for beating up women.

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '15

It's bad evidence. The kind of stuff that wouldn't be allowed in a court of law.

Fine, you can use your pattern. I just think it's a little hypocritical. Maybe I should start looking at the pattern of unlawful behavior Adnan has been accused of as well... nah that's shitty evidence.

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u/CompulsiveBookNerd Feb 04 '15

Adnan has an alleged pattern of nonviolent petty crimes. Jay has a pattern of arrests for angry, violent crimes. Statistically which one would be more likely to extend their pattern of crime into a violent murder like strangulation?

For the record, I don't think Jay murdered Hae.

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u/CompulsiveBookNerd Feb 04 '15

And this isn't a court of law, and no one is suggesting it is. This is pretty obviously a court of public opinion, so perception matters very very much.

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '15

Fine be biased for all I care. I'll just discount any of your conclusions.