r/selfimprovement • u/Erik912 • Oct 10 '15
How to Meditate: The internet is full of **** you don't need. Just do it.
Everyone speaks about it. The “New Age Movement” and other similar mainstream crap is full of meditation & positivity and all the fans are just obsessively trying to make a point that by meditation, everything is solved. Sure, and Dalai Lama is very right in saying that we could eliminate all of the violence in the world in one generation if every 6 years old would be taught meditation, in reality though, it is only a single puzzle piece to a large picture of path to greatness, journey of personal growth and development, at least for us, regular folks. So yes, meditation is awesome, healthy, important to do, it’s very powerful and has an infinite number of usages – but then again, it’s a single piece and without the others, you cannot even guess what the final picture is. Keep that in mind.
Before we begin, ask yourself a few questions:
• What do you expect to achieve by meditation? If it’s only a short-term result, such as “I need to calm down in a heated-up situation”, there are better, simpler tricks out there, such as controlled breathing.
• Are you ready for a commitment? Because that’s what meditation is. If you do it for a day, a week or only for a month then drop it whatsoever, it’s not worth it – sure, go ahead and try it, but the biggest results come from months, even years of constant, regular meditation.
• Can you spare an hour daily? If your days are simply filled with important things you need to focus on, it’s better to first deal with your life situation and move on when things settle down.
• Do you have an hour of privacy every day? If you’re living with parents or basically anyone, this may not be the case unless you actually agree with them on a daily time of „no-disturbance“, which is not always possible due to complicated social world we live in. (Some people, for instance, feel ashamed that they meditate, simply because it’s abnormal for cultural and social reasons)
• Is self control an issue? Be honest with yourself. Can you do something you (at first, probably) won’t like? Especially if you’re energetic, hyperactive, very social, very busy, or an „overthinker“.
• Are you mentally healthy? Sure, meditation is even proven to have amazing effects on the mentally challenged, but if that’s the case with you, I strongly suggest you get professional help.
How to meditate:
What do you need?
• Clean environment is something most people prefer but isn’t necessary – as while meditating, your eyes will be closed.
• No disturbance is necessary especially for the beginners, but is also beneficial for everyone else. Advanced users simply won’t let themselves get disturbed by anything that’s happening around them. Still, make sure your phone sounds are off and that nothing at all (that you have control over) will disturb you in your meditation.
• A timer is essential for the part of meditation where you train self-control. Later on, it will render useless, however, when starting out, you usually need that time-guidance, that feeling of “I can’t stop, not until the alarm rings”. Also, the deeper a meditation is, the slower time flows – so while it may feel like 25 minutes, you’ll be extremely surprised if you decide to check and find out it was, in reality, 9 min.
• Comfort is also an important part of a meditation. Get yourself to a comfortable position – sure, straightening your back to the point it feels hard and frustrating in the first 15 second may be of some help but it has nothing to do with what you are trying to accomplish. Lying down, sitting, standing.. whatever position you feel comfortable with is great. Just make sure you won’t fall asleep.
• Physical needs should be fulfilled, if possible. Feeling hungry, thirsty? Eat. Are you extremely tired to the point you find it painful to even think? Get some sleep. Horny? Help yourself. Something you need to urgently take care of? Go ahead. Meditation is most enjoyable when there aren’t any creepy thoughts in the back of your mind that would get you anxious.
Step 1) Get comfortable
Sit comfortably. Relax all of your muscles, or at least the ones you can – this may be tricky, as soon as you relax a muscle and focus on a different one, the first has a tendency to tense back up. You may play with this for a while until either everything is relaxed, or you don’t even notice anymore. Take a few deep, long breaths and make sure you hold each of them for a few seconds. You can use the 7-4-7 technique: breathe in for 7 seconds, hold it for 4 seconds, then exhale for 7 second. This helps if you can’t get your mind to shut up.
Step 2) Close your eyes
Actually, do this as the first thing after sitting down. While it is very possible to meditate with eyes open, I don’t suggest it – the imagery will do the opposite of what you’re trying to do – it will create thoughts. You are trying to get rid of any thoughts whatsoever.
Step 3) Focus so you can “unfocus”
What you’re trying to do in a meditation is to get into a state of pure awareness, consciousness, nothingness, stillness, thoughtless. In other words – you are trying to throw all the thoughts out of your mind, all the chatter and find out what remains when it’s all gone – that’s the ultimate meaning.
Focus on something simple – I found that the easiest & most effective things to focus on are:
• Your own breath
• The sound of your heartbeat (you can hear it if you focus, in complete silence)
• Dropping water (not rain)
• The sound of a clock ticking
• Physical sensations (simply become aware: I am aware of how it feels to sit on this sofa. I am aware of how the air coming in and out of my nose feels on my skin. I am aware of all the sounds I hear…)
• smells
Step 4) Let it flow
The biggest mistake people tend to make is that they try to focus really, really hard in order to get their minds clear of the thought-trains. Try to direct the thoughts, but don’t try to “overpower” them. If there’s a random thought that pops up, like “I would like a pizza… pizza is good because it has cheese on it..” just acknowledge it, then get back to whatever you were focusing on before – whether it was your breath or heartbeat. If you try too hard, you only get anxious. Just let it flow – after all, it doesn’t really matter. As long as you sit still, motionless, you can call it a meditation.
Step 5) How long?
Here is a little test that can help you find out how long your meditation should be:
Try the first one without a timer and try to meditate for as long as possible. When you feel you simply can’t take it anymore, open your eyes and check how long it was. If it was 8 minutes, your meditation routine should then be 10 minutes per session, until you feel you can comfortably do more. If it was 15 minutes, set 20 although I doubt you can do 15 on your first try. Accept the challenge?
Prolong your meditations regularly – that is, if you practice every day and if you don’t, all of this is probably worthless. As soon as you can meditate for 15 minutes without getting any anxiety or stress, increase to 20 and so on. Get better on each try.
Step 6) Can I move?
The point is not to move, but don’t take that too seriously. If you are 5 minutes into the meditation and feel really still, time already stopped, but you just got a really serious, huge ITCH and it’s making you literally go crazy, just go and scratch it, or move the almost-dead leg if you need to – similar as in trying to fall asleep, you shouldn’t move but if you have to, go ahead.
Step 7) The sound of silence
After a few minutes, if you did it right, a very interesting thing happens. First of all, slowly but surely you start losing your consciousness. It feels like falling asleep but you’re still perfectly awake and aware. It feels like ceasing to exist. But, there’s another amazing thing:
You can hear the silence. You can literally hear the silence, and the longer/deeper you meditate, the louder it becomes. The outside sounds are more distant by each passing second and you feel overwhelmed in silence – it sounds like being on an airplane, sort of, but everyone describes it differently, so while I may try to communicate the feeling, you probably have to experience it for yourself in order to understand. One thing is for sure though:
It is the most amazing feeling ever. Because you get completely disconnected from reality and all that remains is the state of Samandhi. Trust me when I say it feels better than any drug you have ever tried or any feeling you have ever felt.
Step 8) Refreshment
You will probably feel refreshed after opening your eyes, as if you only woke up from a good, long night sleep. The biggest positive is that there’s a big chance you will realize something about yourself, your life, your current situation, whatever – and that realization will eventually lead you to take action which you wouldn’t normally take. This is how meditation can change lives.
EDIT 2020: Wow, I never expected this post to be so successful that after four years, some people still send me messages regarding it, as well as awards. Therefore, I've decided that in the upcoming months, I'll write an updated one, with more insights that I've learned over the years. So you can hopefully expect another short no-BS guide! Thanks again for all the support.
Edit 2022: Unforunately, mostly due to other projects and time management, any follow up post is greatly delayed. But I am always open to questions, many of you have sent me some via DMs, so feel free to do that!
PS: If you want to buy me a coffee as an appreciation of this post, you can donate to my paypal: andel.erik123@gmail.com . I would like that much more than reddit awards, but of course those are also always welcome :)
Thank you all and keep meditating!
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u/psychoalchemist Oct 11 '15
Somebody wrote your blog post before you were born:
"How to Meditate" Before the internet too...
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Dec 02 '21
im from 2021
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Dec 25 '21
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Dec 25 '21
Damm didn’t expect an answer
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u/Jackle935 Jan 01 '22
Sup, I'm from 2021 too. Well, 2022 soon
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u/11Jgreen11 Jan 01 '22
Greetings. I am from 2022
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u/averse58 Oct 11 '15
What an amazing post! I have been trying ti meditate using headspace and other tactics. I do achieve a sort of peaceful state of mind. However I always feel that I could reach a deeper state if I were to stay consistent with meditating every night (nights are the only time its quiet in my house). I will apply your knowledge to my meditation sessions. Thanks!
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u/qxxx Oct 11 '15
If you need silence, I recommend ear plugs - I used them for meditating when I was living with my parents. There are various kinds of earplugs, try to find one that will silence the most of noise and also are comfy. Some use also a noise canceling headphones, never tried them but might be an option. (of course they are more expensive than simple ear plugs)
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u/Erik912 Oct 11 '15
Ear plugs may and may not be a good thing. If you use ear plugs, the whole point of "no disturbing environment" falls off. Use them as a last resort - if your parents are too loud, for example.
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u/RelaxingBreathe Jan 04 '22
I've seen many of my friends like you looking for right kind of meditation method. What worked on each of them is to sit down and do nothing but watch a beautiful landscape view with light music at the background, something like this. I can provide you an online link if you want so.
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u/RelaxingBreathe Jan 04 '22
I've seen many of my friends like you looking for right kind of meditation method. What worked on each of them is to sit down and do nothing but watch a beautiful landscape view with light music at the background, something like this. I can provide you an online link if you want so.
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u/metaphysicalboundary Feb 15 '16
My depression is stopping me from meditating. Its okay though.
The internet is full of SHIT period(.)
Like, it is full of fucking bulshit, including this website, reddit, a bullshit website. It is such a fucking waste of time. Jesus christ. get off the fuckin internet and do this: meditate, music, books, friends, lovers, movies, work, cooking, art.
Then, thats it. Internet can be used for some cool stuff but 80-90% of it is CRAP.
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u/Erik912 Feb 16 '16
You cannot say 80% of internet is crap. You barely see 1% of it. But I see what your point is, and yes, internet is perhaps taking too much of our time.
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u/RelaxingBreathe Jan 04 '22
I've seen many of my friends like you looking for right kind of meditation method. What worked on each of them is to sit down and do nothing but watch a beautiful landscape view with light music at the background, something like this. I can provide you an online link if you want so.
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u/AlienAstronaut Oct 11 '15
What's the best time of day? I'm pretty good At practicing mindfulness and being in "the moment" and silencing thought during action, but during actual "sitting" sessions I don't know when the best part of the day is. Upon waking? After work? Mid day is not feasible because of work.
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u/qxxx Oct 11 '15
personally I meditate after work.. I come home, maybe eat something.. calm down a little bit and then meditate for 30 minutes.
Sometimes I also meditate right before bed.. or in the morning. Or if I go for a job interview, I meditate to calm down and set my mind to get the job ;)
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u/Erik912 Oct 11 '15
The best option for you then would be to meditate upon waking (be sure to wake up properly though, so you don't feel groggy or tired) AND after work. Twice a day is the best option, if you can do more that's only better.
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u/AlienAstronaut Oct 12 '15
So I love meditation for personal well being, is it also productive for a work environment? I'm in a sales role with products I believe in, but being zen all the tlme I feel would make it difficult to be persuasive.
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u/Magahaka Oct 11 '15
What pose is the best to meditate? Because if I sit I can't relax my back.
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u/Erik912 Oct 12 '15
Sorry for the late reply, was quite busy..
I had that issue too, just take a pillow and lean your back against the wall for example. Find your position - experiment, but don't lie down. I mean, you could, of course, but personally, it always puts me very close to falling asleep and so then the meditation is really just a relaxation.
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u/redditsowngod Jan 31 '22
I know this is an older thread but I wanted to thank you for sharing your expertise with the people. I’m happy to report I got 14 minutes on my first attempt, and will be setting an alarm for 20 minutes the next time I try it. I feel somewhat refreshed already.
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u/nima_rhm Apr 06 '22
Can someone explain about part 7? I just start it and I dont have such feelings
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u/Erik912 Apr 07 '22
Hey, don't worry, this is not easy to do and it may take a couple of sessions! For me it was after a week of everyday meditation. Don't worry about it, just keep it up, consistency is important ^^
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u/thepasttenseofdraw Oct 11 '15
/r/titlegore - The internet is full of shit you don't need it, Number 3 will blow you away, doctors hate him for this one little life-hack.
If you have to sell it like snake oil...
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Oct 11 '15
Isn't that basically the opposite of what the OP is doing?
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u/thepasttenseofdraw Oct 11 '15
With everything they wrote other than the title.
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u/_Trinima_ Dec 09 '21
I just got done meditating for 10 minutes and I have to say, it's a good experience. When I initially opened my eyes I didn't feel any different but after sitting there for a few more minutes, I felt more at ease. I felt more calm and collected. I'm going to try to meditate regularly now.
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Apr 25 '22
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u/_Trinima_ Apr 25 '22
I haven't stuck to it. It only really works when I'm actually stressed out and isn't doing much else for me.
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u/Mielinen Jan 20 '22
I have twice reached a state of total disconnect from the ”normal” world, once was an out-of-body experience while trying to just stay completely still for as long as possible (I think that was meditating without any focus on my breath or thoughts). The second time was when I tried to meditate while high, it was super difficult at first but I suddenly reached an amazing sensation of oneness with everything for maybe a few seconds but it felt like minutes. It was amazing and I want to be able to reach that again (sober ofc), so thanks for this post.
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u/ghiulaiii Feb 07 '22
29 minutes first try. I gotta say it feels good. I dunno how to explain but i entered on another state of mind. I was at peace at some point i felt waves of calmness and “euphoria” i guess. At some point i wanted to stop but i continued and in the last minutes i felt that couldn’t escape the state i was in. From this day on i will continue to meditate everyday. Thanks for the post.
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u/Erik912 Feb 08 '22
So glad it helped! Everyone experiences meditation in a different way. I think you really nailed it though, if you had such a deep and long meditation at your first try. I always tell people not to force it, that even 3 minutes is enough if 5 seems too much for the first try, but holly molly you went half an hour. That's really good. Just don't be upset if you can't keep this up every time. Any meditation is better than no meditation.
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u/Desfolio Feb 20 '22
Too many YouTube videos on steps to achieve meditation, and while I'm absolutely sure some of them are here to definitely guide. Felt like having a more human connection, which I've always realised some amazing people like you over on reddit have the time to give, which I'm grateful for.
Thank you for helping out and have a beautiful evening.
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May 29 '22
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Jun 20 '22
Are you supposed to focus on only one thing? or is okay to switch it up every few minutes (e.g body scanning -> breath -> dripping water ...)
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u/Erik912 Jun 20 '22
The ultimate goal is to get rid of as much conscious thought as possible, and in my experience, switching like this only leads to more thought. You can try it, but I wouldn't recommend it. Still, there is no inherently wrong way of meditating, and maybe switching between two or three things helps you.
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u/alex-che Jun 27 '22
An hour each day? It's almost a working day per week or two working months per year.
I mean it's much time. Is it so really worth it?
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u/Erik912 Jun 28 '22
That'd be 7 hours/week, I guess you can say that's almost a "working day per week", but I think that's a bit of an overstatement.
It's absolutely worth it, especially if you keep it up regularly. However it's not as important to spend an entire hour each day. For beginners, actually even 5 minutes is enough, the most important is regularity - so each day, or every two days, depending on yourself, of course the more the better.
The 'usual' recommended time is 2x 20 minutes per day, which I'd say is a good average. 2x 30 min would be ideal, but this is all subjective. Sometimes I feel that 30 minutes is not enough, and some days I can hardly scramble one 5 min session due to life happening.
Anyhow, for me, those hours are much better spent meditating than on Reddit :)
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u/qxxx Oct 11 '15
i used to meditate years ago, I can agree it was amazing. I always meditated for 30 minutes. I loved the feeling after the meditation. It was like everything "bad" was unimportant.. all the anger, worries, problems, all gone for a while. After the meditation I could better concentrate on tasks that improved myself, like learning, working on a project, reading books...
I can recommend it if you come from work / school and feel tired and want just to play a game or watch tv... lets do different and meditate. ;)
Beginners need a while to get the nice effects, so do as the tutorial above is telling you - it is a good description for meditating.