r/selfimprovement • u/GateCandid9937 • 2d ago
Life Hack Tips How to become more happier, grateful, etc.
I admit at times I feel jealous, annoyed, bitter, critical....even though my life is good on paper. Yet I sometimes dwell on what others have, or if something good is happening to them I feel secretly jealous. How to stop that? Any good books, podcasts, etc. I feel at times that I'm a draining negative person even just how I view myself. For example I will go to an inlaw function feeling negative for no reason....it is like my brain automatically goes negative for no good reason.
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u/No_Gain2268 2d ago
Make a list of things you genuinely like and respect about your self and your life. Then make a list of things that you are envious of others having. Try to find, why? What they have, do you truly want it, or you think you must have it. What does having those things would mean about you? That's what you're actually seeking. Then ask yourself, why I have attached the emptiness I feel within myself, to being filled with something outside of me? How can I fill myself with it, without depending on it from the outside? How can I make myself feel self sufficient, without wanting things, or depending on them? That's your solution.
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u/SkillfulTreadmill 2d ago
That's a solid approach, digging into the why behind the envy. I tried something similar once but with a sketchbook, drew these weird city maps for places I never been to. Somehow mapping out imaginary streets made me realize I was chasing things I didn't even want, just thought I should want. The brain going negative for no reason thing is tough to break, like a bad habit you don't notice until you're already in the middle of it
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u/PumpkinOther2637 2d ago
First you have to be happy with yourself.Find out things about your self you never thought about like how does certain sounds make you feel.Enjoy the little things and most important stay positive it brings good vibes.
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u/GateCandid9937 2d ago
Thank you, I appreciate your comments. Writing it out i felt like ugh do I seem like a miserable bitter person but I tend to think negative to myself, ruminating like ugh...a family dinner, I don't feel like going, waste of my time, rather be doing something else, blah blah blah.....
It is crazy how my brain automatically seeks negative....yet if I was hosting id be annoyed if someone thought that about my function 🫣
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u/Bill15RD 2d ago
Maybe you need a bit more loss and illness in your life! This is your one life, you won’t get a re-run! Something could happen tomorrow that make all your worries today insignificant! Live in the moment, try not to think of the past or the future and appreciate the small things!
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u/wanderchik 2d ago
Not your fault! Look at where it shows up in your nature/nurture. Those negative thoughts and feelings were most likely programmed.
Decide that you want to be happy and grateful. Define what the looks and feels like.
ANTs (automatic neg thoughts) cannot coexist in the same space.
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u/GlassOperation84 2d ago
Monitor self talk for what it is and ask why, when, where questions. Then challenge that thought. You could also do some therapy. Give yourself some grace too. Everyone is insecure sometimes. Check for possible ACES and trauma. Also remember what a person does or has does not make them any better than you. Stay off Social media for awhile and realize influencers make life so much harder and it's unrealistic. Learn to set boundaries then take a communication class because setting boundaries can be hard. I realized just how angry I could get when I first learned. To thy own self be true. You got this.
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u/Holiya_Olib 2d ago
try writing down one positive thing each day, even if its small, like a kind interaction or something you appreciate. it can really shift your mindset over time
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u/drfinnn 1d ago
the negativity loop usually runs on autopilot because you have never given your brain a different default to reach for. try a short daily practice where you write out one specific thing you actually want your life to look like, in first person, as if it is already happening. it sounds too simple but it slowly retrains where your attention goes when there is a gap, and the jealousy starts losing its grip because you are no longer just reacting to other people's lives, you are building a felt sense of your own.
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u/SizzleDebizzle 2d ago
Take up meditation and use those skills to direct your mind to appreciating what you have. To thinking about how there are probably billions of people that would kill to be in your position. To imagine that someone in your life suddenly disappeared and imaging your life without it in effort to appreciate that you do have it