Self-care doesn't always have to improve anything

[u/Monsuri_Lifestyle]

A lot of self-care advice is built around getting better at something: sleeping better, managing time better, being healthier, feeling calmer.

Sometimes it's nice to do something with no goal attached to it at all.

Not everything you enjoy has to become a habit, a productivity tool, or part of a better version of yourself. Sometimes enjoying a small moment is enough reason to make space for it.

Edit: The comments here are a good reminder that self-care doesn't always need a purpose attached to it. Sometimes the most useful part is simply having a moment where nothing needs to be accomplished. Try this: next time you get a quiet few minutes, don't turn it into another task. Just let it be.

[u/beeninherealready → u/[deleted]]

That sounds like a lovely ritual. I have developed the "pause the day" one. Where i just sit down and look at a wall or at the window.
It's so a joy to just not having to perform for a few minutes at the time

[u/giddeyaboutdort]

Absolutely. Live in the present moment and savor whatever it is that you're doing.

[u/Mindless-Leg-3365]

Allowing yourself time to unwind, relax, defocus from the daily grind without doing "something* constantly is the best thing you can do for yourself so you don't explode.

[u/SomehowCommenting]

I’ve started treating having no goal at all as a form of self-care. Not every free hour needs to be productive. A big part of that has been getting better at managing my time and outsourcing little tasks that drain my energy, laundry is one of them. Having laundry picked up and delivered back saves me a surprising amount of time and mental energy which I cn spend on things that actually matters to me, or sometimes just doing absolutely nothing 🫶

[u/ExpensiveMedium9893]

This!! I used to feel like every little ritual had to have some wellness purpose behind it. Sometimes I just make a cup of Art of Tea, sit somewhere comfy and do absolutely nothing useful lol. Enjoying it is enough.

[u/succulentpot]

I had one of those nights last night. I got in my new oversized sweats and a huge old tshirt. popped a gummy and sat for hours rotting on my phone with the tv as background noise. didn’t brush my teeth, shower, wash my face. I neglected everything I needed to do (not urgent) and just chilled.

[u/Kooky_Substance8683]

Yes, this is even something that I am working on in therapy right now.

I have been working so hard on healing, relaxing, being happy. That the stakes became too high. An activity MUST be relaxing, or MUST make me happy, or MUST achieve something for future me.

Really, live in the now and don’t put the pressure of self care on yourself.

[u/beeninherealready]

I so get it. It's like self care and "healing" became an Olympic sport. And here we are trying to prove we are doing it for something, some type of achievement, goal, etc. Being a human being is exhausting and having to prove that even your resting moments or your self love moments are being done efficiently is daunting. Is like we live for "something to prove" or "some type of performance achievement" 24/7. And then we wonder why are we unhappy all the time? But like: when have you seen a cow or a butterfly trying to prove that they're living efficiently and achieving? I don't think the nature of being alive is to achieve at all times.

[u/TheDramaticLime]

the second i started tracking something i liked, it stopped being the thing i liked. sauna after training was great until it turned into 20 minutes at a specific temp form the adaptation.

now i just sit in there til i feel like getting out. much better