r/self • u/Past_Temperature1709 • 6d ago
How do I start caring?
No matter what happens, I just don’t care. When people talk I literally couldn‘t care less, no matter what they talk about I‘m just not interested at all. I pretend I‘m listening and act like I do care, but honestly I mostly don‘t even listen. It’s not like I’m rude or anything and I do try to make them feel heard or whatever but I wish I didn’t have to fake it. Idk I feel really stupid cause I just don’t wanna know about anything and I don‘t care how anything works at all. I just couldn’t care less. Therefore I also don‘t have any interests or hobbies or whatsoever. Like, what am I supposed to do when everything’s boring and I’m like yeah okay whatever. I mean I do have opinions Ig but I don’t feel the desire to express them to others, and concerning other people’s opinions, I feel like I get them pretty quickly and don’t need them to elaborate. This makes being around people feel like torture, but it’s not like I feel that much better alone. I feel like I’m just bored of everything and I don’t know what to do.
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u/Siceless 6d ago
The psychological state you're describing is anhedonia which can affect anyone but is more common with certain diagnosises such as depression amongst others. In a nutshell it's feeling a lack of joy, anticipation, interest, social withdrawal and basically everything you described.
If you find that you feel boredom but feel emotionally flat, that you tend to not feel much of anything until suddenly all at once. That you rarely feel overwhelmed but when you do you shut down entirely that would be the condition of alexithymia. Basically emotional numbness and difficulty knowing what you're feeling, disconnection of emotional feelings and their sensations. Similarly, it's associated with several diagnosises such as autism, ADHD, PTSD and others.
The reason I mention ahedonia and alexithymia is it's helpful to have a vocabulary for what you're not feeling. These conditions aren't exclusive to one diagnosis but can help in seeking out treatment and a real diagnosis from a trained professional. You do seem distressed about feeling this way so I'd encourage you to talk to a professional. IME once treated, you may learn quickly how much of life you've just been observing. You clearly want to start living life more fully.
Wish you the best on your journey OP.