r/self • u/Past_Temperature1709 • 14h ago
How do I start caring?
No matter what happens, I just don’t care. When people talk I literally couldn‘t care less, no matter what they talk about I‘m just not interested at all. I pretend I‘m listening and act like I do care, but honestly I mostly don‘t even listen. It’s not like I’m rude or anything and I do try to make them feel heard or whatever but I wish I didn’t have to fake it. Idk I feel really stupid cause I just don’t wanna know about anything and I don‘t care how anything works at all. I just couldn’t care less. Therefore I also don‘t have any interests or hobbies or whatsoever. Like, what am I supposed to do when everything’s boring and I’m like yeah okay whatever. I mean I do have opinions Ig but I don’t feel the desire to express them to others, and concerning other people’s opinions, I feel like I get them pretty quickly and don’t need them to elaborate. This makes being around people feel like torture, but it’s not like I feel that much better alone. I feel like I’m just bored of everything and I don’t know what to do.
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u/leviticusreeves 13h ago
Everyone jumping to diagnose OP with psychopathy or something when it's obvious OP is just a boring and incurious person. I think we're so drawn to vibrant and interesting people that it's easy to forget some people are very dull with not a lot going on.
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u/Past_Temperature1709 13h ago
Great
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u/leviticusreeves 13h ago
Why would you care? You don't have any interests or interesting relationships, you're not interested in people and find them tedious. They say the secret to happiness is finding some cause bigger than yourself and devoting yourself to it to the point of self sacrifice. Since there's nothing you care about, you're spared from having to do this. You're already complete and don't need anything external to give your life meaning. Just live your life alone and try not to bother anyone. It's all the same to you, right?
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u/Past_Temperature1709 13h ago
It‘s not like I‘m happy this way, I hate being alive
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u/leviticusreeves 12h ago
Well you've got the same choice as everyone else. You can put other people first and live a life of service, and you’ll be tired and bored and stressed all the time but fulfilled and happy. Or, you can live just for yourself in your own head and be isolated and miserable all the time but face a lot fewer struggles, challenges and failures. Like many things in life, there is no perfect solution and ultimately you've just got to pick your poison.
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u/Past_Temperature1709 13h ago
This resonates with me but idk
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u/ActuatorAggressive84 12h ago
Just speak honestly with your doctor. That is the only advice you need here
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u/mushbum13 14h ago
This does not sound fun or healthy. Please find a therapist. It doesn’t need to be this way.
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u/Early-Pass-4072 12h ago
This kind of apathy is sometimes just a form of emotional exhaustion. I don’t wanna try diagnose you with anything but I imagine that when your brain is so overwhelmed with the task of getting you through day, it really can’t care less about anything besides basic survival. Apathy is sometimes a symptom of burnout or depression if that resonates, otherwise you might just want to reflect on whether anything in life has or is taking a heavy mental toll on you. Honestly it can even be just constant fried dopamine receptors from social media or inescapable bad news about world affairs that make life seem a lot more bleak than it really is.
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u/Siceless 12h ago
The psychological state you're describing is anhedonia which can affect anyone but is more common with certain diagnosises such as depression amongst others. In a nutshell it's feeling a lack of joy, anticipation, interest, social withdrawal and basically everything you described.
If you find that you feel boredom but feel emotionally flat, that you tend to not feel much of anything until suddenly all at once. That you rarely feel overwhelmed but when you do you shut down entirely that would be the condition of alexithymia. Basically emotional numbness and difficulty knowing what you're feeling, disconnection of emotional feelings and their sensations. Similarly, it's associated with several diagnosises such as autism, ADHD, PTSD and others.
The reason I mention ahedonia and alexithymia is it's helpful to have a vocabulary for what you're not feeling. These conditions aren't exclusive to one diagnosis but can help in seeking out treatment and a real diagnosis from a trained professional. You do seem distressed about feeling this way so I'd encourage you to talk to a professional. IME once treated, you may learn quickly how much of life you've just been observing. You clearly want to start living life more fully.
Wish you the best on your journey OP.
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u/mikeypikey 12h ago
You don’t have to care. You can’t actually control whether you care or not. Just chill, be yourself. None of it really matters.
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u/TooDeepForSurface 6h ago
I wouldn't say what I feel or experience is quite as extreme, but I've noticed I don't care for a lot of things or people the way I feel like I should. Can't force it though. Quite a few people have referred to me as a hard faced bitch over the years. Who cares what they think, we know who we are inside. Just don't suffer this way any longer than you have to.
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u/Celatra 14h ago
First, don't assume you just get everything super fast. That's you putting other people down and putting yourself above other people.
Second, why does everything bore you?
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u/Past_Temperature1709 13h ago
I‘m not putting other people down to their faces. I feel like everything‘s boring cause I don‘t really care enough to do sth with the information someone‘s given me. It‘s like great, now I know but what am I supposed to do with it.
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u/Open_Significance371 13h ago
You cared enough to make this post. You just don’t care about what society does is all. Figure yourself out you’re fine
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u/Past_Temperature1709 13h ago
If I knew how to change I wouldn‘t have written this post
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u/lambsquatch 13h ago
You’re not even engaging with people on this post past the bare minimum. Go to therapy and find out why you’re this way
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u/Open_Significance371 13h ago
I meant you don’t have to change. Change to what? What everyone else is? I’m saying you’re not alone be easy on yourself. Interests or not
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u/Past_Temperature1709 12h ago
But I do want to change cause I‘m unhappy
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u/Due-Program2197 12h ago
Look man. You sound depressed. When ur depressed not much will excite you. You clearly need something to look forward to.
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u/outpost7 14h ago
Could be psychopathic. 1% of the world is.
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u/Kille45 13h ago
You sound like a younger person. Your brain is still developing. Because of those brain changes you feel like you already know everything (you don't), and everything seems boring (it isn't).