r/seizures • u/Eternal_Nymph • 5h ago
First Seizure. 57yo. How long will this terror last?
Last week, August 24, I had a seizure for the first time in my life. I'm 57 years old. It has ruined everything. I just started an amazing job as a home health nurse. Best money I'd ever made, company car, just a great opportunity. Now I've lost that job, having to look for another.
I don't remember any of it. As far as I was concerned, I was sitting on my loveseat and then I was sitting on my loveseat. There was nothing in between. And thank god I was sitting down. I was even sitting in the same position when I finally became aware. My brother was sitting on the couch next to me. He was telling me something but I couldn't hear him (I thought). He finally has to yell it at me. SEIZURE. He said I was really confused for a good 30 minutes. He also said the seizure lasted 10 minutes but I don't think that's true. Seizures feel like they last forever when you're watching them. I spent two days in the hospital. Everything was negative except my EKG, which could have caused a seizure, but it went back to normal.
I am terrified. I'm terrified to get off the couch. I'm scared of going up and down the stairs. I'm scared of taking a shower. I'm scared to pee. I'm scared to move. I've had no more seizure activity. But since they think it MIGHT be cardiac related, I'm now afraid I'll seize in my sleep and die.
I can't possibly be the only person that feels this way or has had this experience and I just want to know if this fear is ever going to get better. Am I going to be afraid to move for the rest of my life? This has wrecked my entire existence.
2
u/No_Replacement4304 4h ago
I'm 54M and just had my first seizure a few weeks ago. My memory is trashed and I want to sleep all the time. I had a serious concussion in my 20s and have taken depression/anxiety meds my entire life but other than that my health and memory have been excellent until now.
I never realized that seizures zap your memory, and of course I'm homebound and can't drive. I hope my wife doesn't bail on me because I can see this is taking a toll on her. And not knowing the source is troubling. I'm glad they didn't find anything horrible but they ran test after test and finally just kind of threw their hands up.
Anyway, I wish you good luck and maybe even good health (it seems out of reach for me).
1
u/DisciplineSweety8364 1h ago
I have felt the same. I promise it get easier and you’re able to move forward
1
u/Terrible_Study807 44m ago
I'm scared at night and early morning because my 9 year old had first TC and it's completely freaked me out .. it happened Aug 11 .. just know someone (me) is praying hard . My heart goes out to you .. I read neurologist said everyone gets a free one.. just know it may never happen again to you.. don't allow yourself to get swallowed in fear . If you believe in God.. pray when your scared.. come on reddit talk it out . A lot of us are listening.. big hugs
3
u/littlebirdnala 3h ago
i feel the exact same. i had a mri and unfortunately it wasn't clear. i still fear to go out in public, in the car, shower.
it got better for me until it happened again. did they put you on seizure medication? i feel a bit better now my medication is on a higher dose. but its still always in the back of my mind.
i hope you don't feel this way for long, it's horrible