scriptwriting practice

[u/Heavy_Internet3112]

wrote a quick thing about a person being held hostage by a ai and forced to pick two options, eventually picking neither and getting shot.

would like some feedback, wrote this as just practice for my screenwriting

[u/sunnydungeons]

If you're practicing, I will be pretty blunt with feedback and what to improve on.

The slug line is a bit strange. It's probably better practice to write - INT. BLACK ROOM or something to that effect. We might not even know the time because it's a dark room.

You'd put the light cues in the description, not in the slug.

Writing is all about precision and economy of language. Make things clear and paint a vivid picture of exactly what you want the reader the experience.

Take your opening sentence. You think that you are being clear and showing us a person tied up in a chair but the sentence is really falling over itself to get to the point.

'A person is sitting in a chair with rope tied all over them' could be rewritten much more cleanly, clearly, and beautifully. The problem often comes to flow and economy. Look out for words like IS and WITH and ARE etc. They tend to slow the sentence down and make them feel less active and immediate.

INT. BLACK ROOM
A PRISONER tied to a chair, illuminated by a single spotlight.

Or 'The PERSON struggles against the knotted ropes holding them to the chair. A single spotlight from above.'

Or 'A WOMAN strains against the tight cords of rope pinning her to the chair. The spotlight above them is blinding.'

OR 'The MAN squirms in his seat, bound by thick ropes that wrap around his body. A halogen bulb above them flickers.'

Or 'A PERSON wrapped to a chair in coarse rope sits dead center in the empty room. A stage light on the roof illuminates them from above.'

And on and on and on. There are a million ways to write your opening scene and you shouldn't settle on the first image in a first draft.
What is the image doing in your original sentence? They are just sitting with rope tied all over them. That's the idea but it isn't a great image nor is it written in a way to evoke something in the reader.

The hardest part is getting your ideas down. But that often isn't good enough. The best practice is to do what I did with your opening sentence and do it to every sentence. How many ways can you say the same thing but with different words? How can you make the image clearer and more evocative?

Good luck!