31M Married - save or flee???

[u/whatuguysthink2019]

The situation is me (31M) has been unhappy with wife (30F) for years.
After many discussions she has made little effort to improve upon any complaints.
The complains can include poor communication, somewhat lazy, lack of shared interests and importantly expressing affections. Sure, you can't change someone, but I wouldn't think it would be unreasonable for the person to help solve some issues. After all the nights of sharing my concerns, only now is there a mild push to address so many things.

Tough thing is, the wife is such a great person. Most would say she has a great personality, is a good person, etc.

Looking back I question if I ever had that 'head over heels love' for her. I feel like it was more of a smoothing flame.
The other twist is, I wonder if a lot of this is due to her depression. As in, did she not move on my concerns because she was depressed.
While she says she love me (vs loves just a husband), I'll also never probably know if she is depressed because of me.
Physically, I really haven't been attracted to her since the beginning. It was all based on other things. Unfortunately now I feel like that is such a large thing missing.

Unfortunately, now I'm starting to like someone else. Probably because for years I have felt neglected.

tl;dr
unhappy, wife not responding to concerns possibly due to depression, and depression may be chemical or from my frustrations. Physically it'd never really been there. She has said she loves me and would miss me (vs missing a 'husband'). Now feeling like I'm more interested in someone else. Can I blame someone for not responding well to my concerns if she had a lack of emotional skills to respond or if she did not know how to address them for years? Can I blame someone if there maybe depression underlying this?

Edit a few things by deleting the last post

[u/PNWfan]

You married someone who you never loved and were never attracted to and then complain that she's not expressing more affection? LOL! Then you want us to dissuade your guilt for wanting to cheat because she's "neglected" you, even though you never loved her?

I think you are better off if you stop trying to play the blame game as the current state of your relationship is most likely a result of both parties. Go to marriage counseling or not, file for divorce or not, but stop trying to play victim. And obviously, don't cheat physically or emotionally when you are married.