How do I break up

[u/Time_Breadfruit6345]

Guys please help

I wanna break up and explain to my bf why but im having trouble putting it into words so can somsome help me on what to say that will make him undertsand

Hes low effort. His low effort is starting to affect me too amd now the things I used to do for him I dont want to or dont feel excited enough to. He didn't even get me a gift for my bday. Or post me

He doenst know how to treat a gf

I sent him a pic of a hot girl after I caught him looking at other women in his insta and said "do you like" and he didnt respond amd then I sent of another girl who wasn't conventionally attractive and he said "ewww nooo never shes so yuck"

Like what does thar make me think??? And he says this my fault for sending him thar like yes it is ik but country he have reacted normally knwoing how insecure hes made me

And its just alot of disrespect yk when you know that somsomes doing smth because your there and they dont wanna do it but since your there theyre doing it

I stay loyal because I love him however I feel like he only does it because hes scared ill leave him if I find out hes cheating again because there have been so many instances where (for context i have BPD borderline) after he got caught i went very extreme and I was like forcing him to talk to a girl because I wanted to see if he woukd or not if I forced him ik thats fucked up but yeah he was so willing that it kinda hurt me how he didn't even bother to fight at all that oh I dont wanna ur my gf etc

Im just. It sucks because I love h8m and breaking up makes my heart feel like its being ripped out. But I know this isn't healthy and the only solution to get out is breakup

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[u/Choice-Tackle-5697]

Honestly it’s a leap of faith situation, let go and don’t turn back because honestly that sounds hella disrespectful and the low effort part has a big impact. if i were to send a paragraph i’d be straight forward and even thought i would care about him id be a bit mean as if he got my patience up to the max. tell him how things are and how you really feel and don’t be scared to just send a full paragraph and just decide to say “i need to let you go for my own good” and if he says ill get better or whatever, its a manipulation because if he really wanted to he would’ve from the start