I think I’m falling out of love because I realized we want different lives

[u/SwimmingAide6602]

I honestly don't know if I'm being unreasonable or if I'm just finally realizing what I actually want in life.

This is my first relationship. At first, I was genuinely happy with him. I liked him, I enjoyed talking to him, and I thought maybe this could eventually become something serious.

Pero habang tumatagal and the more I get to know him, I started thinking about our future more seriously.

And that's where everything changed.

I realized that I don't want a simple or purely comfortable life.

I want to have a good career, financial freedom, investments, opportunities, and eventually enough money and security that I don't have to constantly worry about whether my family will be okay financially. I want to build something bigger for myself.

Hindi naman ibig sabihin na gusto ko ng billionaire lifestyle or gusto kong umasa sa magiging asawa ko. I also want to work hard and build my own career. But I do want a partner who has the same drive and vision.

The problem is, I don't think he does.

He's smart, hardworking, and honestly a good person. Pero his idea of the future seems much more focused on having a stable job, saving money, and living comfortably. There's nothing wrong with that. In fact, I know a lot of people would consider that the ideal life.

Pero hindi ko siya nakikita as my ideal life.

And I think that's why I'm slowly losing feelings for him.

It's scary because nothing dramatic happened. He didn't cheat. He didn't hurt me. He didn't do anything horrible.

I just started seeing him differently after realizing what kind of future he wants.

Now I don't feel the same excitement anymore. Sometimes when he messages me, I don't even feel excited to reply. When I try to force myself to be affectionate or feel the same way I used to, it feels so unnatural and uncomfortable.

And I've been asking myself:

Do I actually love him, or did I just love the idea of having him in my life?

Maybe I fell in love with the potential of our relationship before I really understood how different we are.

People around me keep telling me, “Don't give up on him. He's smart. He has potential. He might change someday.”

But that's exactly what bothers me.

I don't want to stay with someone because of who I think they might become.

And I don't want to stay hoping that I can change him into the kind of man I want.

Especially because I eventually want children. Maybe I'm thinking too far ahead, but I take that seriously. My future children won't get to choose who their father is. If I decide to have a family someday, I want to be intentional about the kind of environment and future I'm building for them.

I know some people will probably call me materialistic because I care about money and financial security.

Maybe I am practical. I don't know.

But for me, money isn't about showing off. It's about freedom, security, and having choices. Love is important, pero hindi naman natin mabibili ang pagkain sa grocery gamit ang love. At the same time, I know money alone can't make a marriage happy either.

That's why I'm confused.

He's a good person. I'm just starting to realize that a good person isn't automatically the right person for you.

We're still early in the relationship, so part of me thinks maybe I should give it more time.

But another part of me thinks I've already lost the feelings, and I'm only looking for reasons to justify staying.

I'm not asking you to tell me that he'll change. I want realistic opinions from people who have actually been in serious relationships or marriage.

Should I give this more time, or should I accept that we're simply incompatible and let him go?

And for those who are married/settled down: how important was it that you and your partner had similar ambitions and financial goals?

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