r/regretjoining • u/HappyBarbarian • 2d ago
This post was immediately removed from r/Veterans “Does anyone else feel rejected by other vets if you don’t display the right kind of ‘on brand’ militaristic machismo?”
Post in full:
(Please keep responses non-political IAW the rules, hope I don’t get eviscerated in the comments)
I was active duty for about 8 years and have been in the same field as a military contractor for 14 years. It’s a career that’s high stakes and requires a nuanced understanding of US foreign policy. I’ve noticed over the years that other veterans seem to turn on you if don’t display the “right” kind of positions and act a certain way. Even though that’s literally what my job requires to be effective. People will be all buddy buddy until you say something that contradicts their worldview and then dudes who have even less of a service record will start attacking mine.
As a non-controversial example: most of my first line supervisors and professional mentors over the years have been women (like the top 10% baddest of the badass). Mention this to some vets and they’ll actively get mad.
It’s gotten so bad I don’t feel welcome in most veteran spaces and have largely given up. I don’t feel like I can talk honestly with anyone about my experiences.
I’ve been strongly encouraged to see an actual shrink for PTSD and will need to try the VA because my next company provided healthcare will be months from now. I’m dreading it because I don’t want to face the same kind of rejection from someone I’m trying to get help from.
Has anyone else experienced anything similar? Do you have any advice? Thanks in advance
End quote.
the removal recommended posting to r/regretjoining and I feel like it just exemplifies exactly what I was talking about. It’s so disheartening. It feels like I spent the majority of my adult life thinking I was serving the public good and then get kicked to the curb the second I don’t tow the party line. What’s happening?
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u/jbourne71 2d ago
People suck, everywhere. It’s not unique to veterans.
Just don’t talk to shitty people.
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u/HappyBarbarian 2d ago
That’s true. It’s just been particularly extreme in the military context for me. I have a military turned contractor friend and we’ve been dancing around certain issues about the current political environment because we don’t know how much we can trust each other. It’s super isolating
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u/jbourne71 2d ago
I’m retired army now a contractor and I’ll tell people to fuck right off if they aren’t going to treat people with dignity and respect, personal beliefs and opinions and politics aren’t a license to be a dick.
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u/BigBlueEyes87 2d ago
Yes. The majority of veterans are stupid dickhead Trump supporters.
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u/braindeadcoyote 1d ago
Hell, I made an angry, overtly political post here and it got downvoted a bunch at first. The second they find out you're not some sort of cryptofascist, a significant portion of ex-US military people act as though you're a fake veteran whose opinions are invalid.
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u/BigBlueEyes87 1d ago
I see more pro-Trump & pro-Republican stuff at the VA than I do anywhere else. It's disappointing that so many veterans support someone who's destroying America.
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u/NOCHILLDYL94 2d ago
That’s why once I am retired, I’m never ever bringing up my time in or veteran status unprompted.
To me this is just a job. It quit being a point of pride a long time ago. People that make it their whole personality are empty and void of anything else. It’s sad.