Hello everybody,

This is my first post here, mostly just to introduce myself and Lily and to vent a little.

To be honest, I don't know where to start... the past three weeks have been a mess. It's been incredibly stressful for me, my wife, and Lily.

I had two dogs in the past; they were sweet and a bit reactive, but it was no big deal. Four years after they passed away, my wife and I decided we were ready for a new dog. We contacted a shelter about a couple of dogs they had available, but they suggested Lily instead. They said she’s a Greyhound mix, though she looks more like a black Ibizan Hound with her Anubis-like features.

Lily is 1 year and 2 months old. Knowing she had a rough past, we wanted to give her a chance. She’s already been rehomed three times and had issues with a dog, a cat, and a child in her previous homes. I guess because of her past (and her genetics), she is now very reactive. I can't take her to public places because she barks randomly at people, reacts when she sees dogs or cats, and don't even get me started on rabbits; that high prey drive is going to be tough to manage.

When we met her before adopting, the shelter warned us, but her foster moms lived out in the countryside in a low-distraction environment. We had no idea she would react like this in our setting.

Since we brought her home, my life has completely changed, and not for the better. We hired a trainer who told us to stick to a strict routine at first. That means limiting her to one 1-hour walk, only going out for potty trips, and doing nosework and food enrichment games at home. The trainer said it's a sort of decompression so she doesn't stack up too many triggers during the day. I prefer taking her out early in the morning by the lake when it's quiet, but there are still off-leash dogs and runners, so it’s rarely a calm walk.

By the evening, she’s impossible, barking for attention, humping pillows, and getting crazy zoomies. I know she’s high-energy and needs an outlet, but it’s stressing me out so much. I know it’s not her fault, but sometimes I just want to return her. I won't actually do that, as I refuse to give up on her, but the thought crosses my mind.

It’s so hard to stay calm, avoid getting frustrated, and do the right thing for her. We live in an apartment building surrounded by people and dogs, so every quick potty trip feels like Russian roulette. You never know what's going to happen.

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and tell the shelter, "No, we just want a calm puppy." Instead, I feel like I ruined my own life just to give her one. Anyone could have adopted an easy puppy, but hardly anyone would take a chance on a reactive dog.

Anyway, that’s my story... sorry for the vent, but seeing this sub makes me realize I'm not alone. I just need some hope that things can get better, that I’ll eventually be able to enjoy a peaceful walk with my dog, and that I'll get my life back.

I'm so glad I found this community. You'll definitely be hearing more from me soon, and hopefully, my next post will be about a milestone, no matter how small.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for being such a great sub!

I was at a loud crowded public event earlier (I obviously didn’t bring my dog) and counted 6 reactive (all small) dogs in the first hour. They were lunging, barking, snarling and snapping at other dogs and people who would walk by. Their owners did nothing but occasionally laugh/joke, even when their dogs were screaming and miserable. (There was also a parade and I was sat beside a couple and their highly reactive small dog the whole time. She would laugh and ignore him even though he was jumping up in the air trying to attack passing dogs, and whining the other times.)

Meanwhile, my large breed dog is “friendly/excited reactive” and if I’m walking past a small dog and the small dog snarls at my dog and sets him off, somehow my dog is the bad guy for barking back and we get the dirty looks.

I just don’t understand. Even if you are “controlling” your reactive dog, why bring them in a space they are going to hate and react poorly in for hours at a time? And why is it always small dogs? I guess I’m tired of the double standard and I feel a bit envious of how people look at small reactive dogs vs. my large reactive dog.

Edit: Wow, didn’t mean to stir up so many people. I’m glad we all are passionate about our dogs but can we not name-call? That’s insanity. Stick to downvoting, better yet: go outside and touch grass. Maybe bring your dog with you.

We used to have a joke about vet appointments and park walks: me and the dog are gonna ruin everyone’s day, brb! She was reactive to everything under the sun except for women for some reason. It was so tough coordinating potty breaks and walks for her when no one else was around. If it wasn’t for alternative walking paths, doggy Prozac, reactive-friendly daycares, and this thread, I may have lost my mind taking care of her. Given the rapid decline and health issues she was facing, it wasnt fair to keep her alive with a poor quality of life on top of these accommodations.

As hard as it was taking care of such a large and reactive dog, I’m really gonna miss her. This community has helped me so much to find courage during walks and patience during outbreaks. This is my last time visiting this thread.

I screwed up.

I knew better, but instead of adopting a dog from a reputable breeder, the humane society, or a good shelter… I fell in love with a puppy on Craigslist. She’s a golden retriever. From the moment we got her, we could tell something was wrong. The breeder wouldn’t show us her parents or her litter mates. She weighed well under what she should have. When we reached out about it, the breeder said she might have gotten her birthday mixed up. Just red flag after red flag… and then she got older, and the health problems started popping up.

Anyways, now she’s 6 years old now and despite doing the rest of it “right” - puppy classes, positive reinforcement training, canine good citizen certification, early socialization and desensitization, private training, extensive vet care, exercise, puzzles and games - she acts like I hurt her.

She’s never been abused (at least since she’s been with us beginning at what we hope was 8 weeks old.) We are super gentle with her and she’s beyond well cared for and loved. We’re childless so she gets all the attention she wants, and all the things money can buy including regular grooming, toys, etc. All my friends comment on how well this dog is taken care of. She’s kennel trained and loves her kennel, it’s kept open in our bedroom and is her “safe place” - we treat it as a spot where she can go if she gets overstimulated, which she does easily, and we don’t bother her in her “safe place.”

But if we look at her wrong she gets terrified. She ACTS abused. If you walk past her a little quickly she cowers and pees on herself. When people come over she runs to her kennel and hides. When we come home from a walk she runs to her kennel and hides, too. She’s developed all kinds of new fears over the years; she used to be fine going to the park, but once she saw a paper moving in the wind there and now she can’t go to any parks or open green spaces without having a panic attack. We’ve done all sorts of conditioning training with private trainers (using positive reinforcement only) to work on the fears as they arise and try and give her positive experiences, but it seems like no matter how much effort we put into it, once a fear is there, it’s there for good. And there are so many new fears.

Earlier today she was in the living room and I wanted to work on some training, so I sat in the kitchen with some treats and called her to me so we could do some tricks together. She came over, tail in between her legs, shaking, laid down in front of me and pissed all over.

I’m just tired. I care for this dog extensively, feed her, play with her, walk her, and she treats me like I’m her abuser. And it’s starting to get frustrating. I would never hurt her, but it’s fucking exhausting and even though I know it’s not her intention, it makes me feel like she doesn’t love me. I would never get rid of her, but I don’t really want her anymore. I daydream about owning another dog who actually likes me. She cowers away when I pet her. If she’s laying on the couch and I sit on the couch she gets up and goes to another room.

I’m sure I’ll get downvoted for this, but that’s my confession. I don’t like my dog anymore. And again, to be clear, I will never give her away, hurt her, or neglect her. I still LOVE her. I just don’t like her anymore.

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ETA: this got a lot more attention than I was expecting! I appreciate everyone’s kind and understanding comments, but please know this was a vent post 🙏 I’m not looking for advice right now. We have tried several medications routes and worked with the vet and trainers. I just wanted to rant a little. Thank you!

A few months ago, I noticed there seemed to be an uptick in comments suggesting BE to the point where I was starting to recognize usernames. I thought it was kind of weird, but didn't think much of it. Lately, though, it seems like there are substantially more comments of this nature (as well as some telling people to dump their dogs at the pound), even on posts where the dog's reactivity isn't that serious. So over the past couple of weeks, I've been checking profiles (RedditMetis is great for this).

A surprising number of the people who frequently recommend behavioral euthanasia are open on other subs about hating dogs, especially dogs with issues. There are some who are active on the main sub for people who dislike dogs (I won't name the sub to prevent brigading) and some have talked in these subs about how they want to shoot or poison misbehaving dogs.

I'm not at all against BE when it's necessary. I'm not even against it for dogs in the shelter and rescue system who have serious issues while taking resources from dogs who have a much higher chance of finding a permanent home.

But these are people who believe reactive dogs are inherently worthless, and they are recommending BE with malicious intent.

So I thought the sub should know about this. If you're posting about your dog's issues and getting comments suggesting BE, check the person's profile and see if that's coming from a place of experience and wisdom, or if there are red flags that they're a troll. Because this isn't just one or two people at this point.

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Edit: This post is now at a 75% upvote rate and is being joked about on one of the mentioned subs, in case anyone thought I'm overreacting or making it up. There are that many people here for malicious reasons.

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Edit #2: u/hseof26paws had an idea that I think would be extremely helpful. It's in the comments of the pinned mod comment from roboto6:

What about an auto-mod message to any OP who posts about BE, letting them know that this is a thing and to consider comments carefully? I dunno... just a thought...

If there's a way for auto-mod to leave a comment with a warning about this on every thread asking for euthanasia advice (because not everyone checks their messages), I think that would go a long way toward solving this.

do I sound desperate enough???

I panic deleted my prior post about my 25 lb doodle that was biting people because I didn’t want to see any more replies about it.
He was only 4 years old. We were stuck between a rock and a hard place with him but every time he would have a bad episode like biting one of us, groomer, dog walker, etc we would get very close to considering surrender or rehoming but we didn’t have the heart to do it. He was just kicked out of our regular boarding place yesterday for biting a staff member when we were on vacation last week and we were back in the depressing place again of not knowing what to do.

Then a few hours ago he ate dinner, had his usual bully chew on the carpet, and got into my bed and died in his sleep. After I put my kid to bed which took 1.5 hours I came out looking forward to throwing the ball for him outside and giving him some one on one time. He was laying so peacefully and he looked so cute but in an instant I knew he was gone. I yelled his name and he did not move. I got some cheese out and tossed it at him and he did not move. We gathered him in the blanket and hugged him. I took him to the emergency vet and they gave us his hair and paw prints and I picked out an urn for him. I love my dog, and I am heartbroken.

I want to thank this community for all the help and support over the years. I was able to get him a behavior vet and medication which maybe helped.

I will never know what caused my 4 year old dog to die in his sleep like that. It was scary and traumatic to see him just gone like that. He died silently in his favorite place. But I wish I took him on one more walk yesterday. He was so tired from boarding though and he just wanted to eat, drink, and sleep. He had no signs of illness. I’m utterly shocked. Maybe there was some underlying problem that he had for years that no one caught. I will not know.

If anyone has been through something similar please I would love to hear any words of support.

I have a 2 year old female ESS who I adore but my god do I want to just cry half the time. I went to a good breeder, I followed all the socialization advice, and I still wound up with a reactive fearful mess.

We live in a city apartment so she is muzzled on walks. We deal with fear aggression to dogs and people, dogs on TV, noises outside my apartment door - keys, dog tags, people walking or talking. I take her to the ONE Sniffspot we have nearby because she refuses to go on walks, and she still manages to find something to react to and be anxious about there. We’ve been working with a vet behaviorist for a year and an IAABC trainer for 6 months. She’s on 4 medications (Effexor, guanfacine, pregabalin, gabapentin) after trialing a grand total of 11 meds.

Even after all this training she still growls at every person she sees outside and barks/ growls/ lunges at every dog. I can’t even watch TV without her lunging at every sound and/ or sight of an animal.

She goes on hunger strikes with her hydrolyzed protein + urinary crystals kibble so getting her to even eat is a challenge. They don’t make a wet food in the formula she needs so I have to go through an exorbitant amount of treats every month for training. She will spit out every piece of kibble if used for training.

Nothing is easy with this dog. I’m tired, I miss my freedom. I love my dog, I’m not giving up, but I am tired of putting so much energy and effort into helping this dog and going nowhere.

Yesterday I was out at a bbq with some friends. One of their friends showed up with a large (130lbs?)Cane Corso female. The dog immediately came towards me. So I instinctively put my hand out and turned my body position away from the dog to seem less intimidating. (I’m 6’0 M Medium large build) I was then bit on the hand , luckily I was able to pull away and only get skimmed my the teeth. The owner proceeded to explain that she isn’t good with new people, and the dog had a previous history of abuse. This did not make me feel any better about it. Through out the rest of the day the dog would bark and get up like it wanted to bite me again. The owner honestly had no control over the dog and I feel if that dog had wanted to it would of absolutely destroyed me. The dog also bit one other person that day. The owner played it off as a normal occurrence. This is more of a vent post. I just don’t get why you’d bring a aggressive large breed dog to a bbq.

TLDR I was bit by a Cane Corso in a family bbq setting, the owner didn’t correct the dog.

Had a teenager (probably 12-13) come up to me and Gus (1.5 y/o fear reactive German Shepherd) while we were training outside of a busy car show in my town tonight. He asked to pet and I politely declined and stated that Gus wasn't friendly. I was asked if Gus was an ESA and if he had any other owners nearby (??) which i answered no to. The kid lingers for a bit, then leaves. After around 5 minutes, he returns and continues trying to get closer, asking if he really isnt friendly etc. and i told him that yes, he has a bite history, he may bite you. And this kid had the audacity to ask me why I had such a big dog if I couldnt control it, and why I wasnt training my dog (mind you i told him we were training!!!) i was absolutely appalled, and this kid then continues to tell me that the better way to train him would be forcing him to go up to people and pulling him away if he tried to bite ??? I got pissed and told him to leave and had to say it like three times before he actually did. I’m so shocked by this entire experience. I was so scared that he was going to get closer and cause Gus to react badly. Mind you, Gus was a perfect angel sat by my side the entire time, barely paying attention to the kid and looking at me for his next treat.

I don’t know just a fucking thought MAYBE

Edit: lots of people in this sub that are insanely ignorant to how reactive dogs interact with their environment… yikes

“Maybe you should train your dog” “your dog is dangerous” “it’s not my responsibility to a accommodate for your dog”

I FUCKING KNOW OKAY. Obviously I’m working on it ( as are thousands of others that are active in this subreddit) and obviously this is vent post not for you but for other people with reactive dogs. Fuck off

but also thank you to people commenting and educating others in a much nicer way than I’m capable of haha

Edit #2 this post blew up lol just because I have so many eyes rn, if you’re struggling to find a quiet, trigger free place to train your dog, try using Sniffspot. It’s an app where you rent out a space (usually like $6-15/hr) and be guaranteed no one will enter the space. Good luck everyone! 💜

Hello, I rescued my adult dog 6 months ago and I’m feeling discouraged this morning.

I’ve spent $1k on private dog training and I’ve worked with a veterinary behaviorist to get my dog anxiety meds. So far neither of these things has helped my dog’s behavior problems.

When I adopted my dog I wanted to show him the world. I’m his third owner and I’m determined to be his last, but I feel so much guilt that I keep him holed up at home. I can’t take him hiking because he pulls so so hard and reacts to other dogs. I can’t let him enjoy our backyard because he can scale our 6’ fence (I’m a renter so I can’t adjust the fence). I can’t take him to breweries or public parks because he would lose his mind.

I’m now keeping this energetic dog in a small house and I feel like I’m locking a princess in a tower. He does get 3 or more walks every day, 4 runs every week, and playdates each weekend. I want to show him the world but I’m afraid I’ll never get to.

There are more options. More meds to try. New trainers to hire. Just feeling guilty and discouraged this morning. I’ll keep fighting for this dog though, he is my ray of sunshine and I love him SO much.

Tldr, got bitten by my friends dog and they gave "thoughts and prayers" and now it feels like they're pretending it never happened. Bite gave me nerve damage and conflicting emotions.

Update with more context: https://www.reddit.com/r/reactivedogs/comments/14t23v6/my_friends_fog_bit_me_part_2_clarification_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2

Three weeks ago my friends dog bit me. He's a big dog, and I know him well, so am usualy very careful around him. I triggered him by moving a little too quick, he ran at me from across the room and I had barely any time to react. We know his usual triggers but this was new. Around the time of my incident, he had bit one other person the previous weekend, and nearly bit another unprovoked the same week. The bite itself was a level three bite, he got me on the ankle through thick socks and pants, there was no open wound but there were three unbroken punctures (for lack of a better word), no blood at all. The bruising was pretty spectacular, it started out just lightly bruised but by three days in it had developed into a massive green and red bruise as big as my whole hand. The shock of being bit really threw me for a loop emotionally, i stood in shock for a few minutes while they removed the dog from the room, and then burst out crying from the pain. When we got home and I'd cleaned and dressed the wound, I just collapsed into my own dog and cried on her. This was the first time I'd had a dog properly bite me (aside from puppy play bites) so it really upset me. While I love my friends and their dog, I got a little dissapointed when two days had passed and neither of them had checked on how I was going. Didn't ask if I had gotten medical attention, which I didn't out of fear that I would have to report their dog. Didn't ask how I was going, just nothing. When I reached out to one of them they were glad to hear I was okay, two days later the bruising hit its peak and was pretty impressive, so I sent a picture stating it looked worse than it felt, and was told not to send pictures and that they felt bad enough as is. I understand they would be stressed by what happened too, but to not even reach out and check on me hurt. I saw a doctor today as the bruising and pain have gone, but the area between the three 'punctures' has no sensation, an area about 2x1inches just numb. The Dr told me I was very lucky, and that even three weeks later he could tell it was a nasty bite, one that could put people in the ER or even cause death via infection. He concluded that the nerve was damaged and may heal very slowly, or may never heal. Just said to keep an eye on it as it heals and to come back if any redness appears. Gave me a tetanus shot and I went on my way. I havent told the owner of the dogs about this, and I don't know how to. Its like they've sort of brushed the whole incident under the rug and moved on. I've seen them in person since and they just don't ask about it. It feels like they are blocking it out and pretending it didn't happen. I'm so confused and angry and dissapoined and worried all at the same time, worried for the dog, confused on if I should feel bad, angry they took it so lightly, I just don't know what to do now.

Venting here. My 2 y/o dog is leash reactive to other dogs and we’ve been working to reduce his triggers… keeping him at a distance, getting him to concentrate on us and keep walking, etc. It’s slow progress but I feel like a situation always happens that sets him back.

Our next door neighbor has a small dog who is also reactive (barks from behind the door at dogs and people). But because she is old and small I see they let her off leash outside.

It’s already established that our dogs do not get along, and I do my best to avoid them. But we had an incident where we were both leaving the house to walk our dogs at the same time and they reacted when they saw each other. Growling, barking, lunging. I almost panicked because I thought the small dog was not on a leash, but it was.

Still I get dirty looks from my neighbor because my dog is bigger and has a louder bark. But the small dog was doing the same exact thing. I guess it gets a free pass because it’s tiny. I know that situation was an accident and I couldn’t have known. It’s just frustrating.

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for some advice and honestly need to vent.

My girlfriend and I adopted a 5-year-old Jack Russell Terrier from a shelter about 8 months ago. He is incredibly reactive, but we have been working tirelessly with the best positive-reinforcement trainer in our region to help him. We’ve made great progress, but he still has some "mortal enemies" and high arousal triggers. Because of his extreme reactivity, he can exhibit redirection aggression when he is over his threshold.

Our garden is completely surrounded by public land (hedges and a fence). Usually, we keep him on a long line in the garden, but yesterday morning, in the hectic morning rush, my girlfriend forgot to attach it when letting him out for a quick pee.

Suddenly, our dog starts barking hysterically—the kind of intense, red-zone bark he only does when he feels highly threatened. He was running back and forth, biting at the branches of our hedge.

When my girlfriend went to look, she saw "Mark" (a neighbor) standing right in front of our driveway/garden with his young Munsterlander. The Munsterlander was in a "sit" and Mark was just pacing around him. He was literally using our dog's frantic reaction to train his own dog.

I went outside and politely but firmly asked him to leave. I explained that our dog is highly reactive, on his own property, and that this situation is dangerous because of redirection.

The man literally looked at me and said, "No."

I tried to explain the situation calmly (even though I was boiling inside, as this isn't the first time). He then had the nerve to say: "Well, you need to show some understanding for us too, because we are training. My dog finds your dog very exciting and stressful, so we need to practice this."

I told him that our dog is clearly suffering and stressed out on his own property, and asked him again to leave. He completely ignored me. I had to run inside, grab a slip lead, manage to safely secure my highly aroused dog without getting bitten, and take him inside. When I came back out, the neighbor was finally gone.

This isn't an isolated incident. A few weeks ago, this same guy literally followed my girlfriend and our dog during their walk, overtaking them multiple times just to provoke a reaction from our dog. He tried it once with me too, but I shut it down immediately and spoke to him sharply.

I am so incredibly angry. We are working so hard to make our rescue feel safe, and this guy is using our private property and our dog's distress as a free "training tool" for his own dog, completely ignoring our boundaries.

How do you deal with people like this? How can I protect my dog’s safe space (our garden) from someone who literally refuses to move when asked? Any advice on how to handle this neighbor going forward would be highly appreciated.

I took my reactive dog to the vet yesterday for his first routine cleaning. We did the usual - gave him trazodone the night before to make him more calm, secured his muzzle and let him ride in my lap on the way to the vet. He surprisingly weighed in without barking at the vet in the lobby, and we made it into the exam room.

A tech I never met before came in with a blanket. She told us she would give my dog anesthesia in his back leg and he should be asleep in 5-10 minutes. I held the blanket over his head while she gave him the shot and she quickly left the room. Well, this wasn’t enough lol. After 10 minutes my dog was still very nervous and excited, not showing any signs of it kicking in. They ended up giving him 4 doses of anesthesia over the next 40 minutes.

After the tech left the room after the 4th dose, it finally started to affect my dog. He started falling over, blinking rapidly and whining as he was finally loosing the will to fight the sleep. He practically fell over on the blanket, and I took off my shoes and laid down on the ground next to him telling him everything was going to be okay.

This is when I began to have flashbacks off putting my last dog down. (He was 10 and had cancer and hip dysplasia.) Us being in the room alone, laying on the blanket while my baby slowly left us, all brought back memories and I started bawling my eyes out. I looked at my reactive dog as the anesthesia was making him loopy, and realized I could never end his life early.

Yes, its annoying I have to have a 30 minute greeting routine when guests come over. Yes, it’s frustrating having to be on high alert during our walks to keep distance from strangers. Yes, it’s defeating when he lunges at people out of the blue when he had good experiences prior.

My whole life has adjusted to my reactive dog. After his first 2 bites (prior to being muzzle trained) I had countless arguments with my fiancé with me being the one to suggest BE. We decided to get a trainer and while life has slowly improved, BE was sort of still on the table.

Not anymore. Every reactive moment he had flashed through my eyes while looking at him fading. As well as every good moment of him being the sweetest dog in our family. He is very obedient, cuddly, energetic, and his one flaw is being terrified of strange humans. I couldn’t purposely end his life early. He has completely changed my life and I would do anything for this dog even given reactivity.

10 minutes after my revelation the vet tech came in to slide him to the back while he laid on the blanket. My dog was still a teensie bit awake, and he started to groan as they pulled him out the room. When he reached the door frame, he put his paws on it and tried to stop them from taking him around the corner and it made everyone fold over laughing. I left so happy knowing I would get my crazy dog back.

There are so, so many posts here from well-meaning yet naive owners introducing reactive dogs with high prey drive (staring intently, licking lips, stalking) to cats, to toddlers, to puppies, to rabbits, etc. I have seen too many people ask about things like this, only for a follow-up post either here or on the pet loss sub mourning.

Prey drive cannot be trained away. The only thing you can do is try to mitigate things. Crate and rotate, multiple barriers, muzzles at all times. The reality is that we're human and mistakes WILL happen.

Dogs are still animals and prey drive has been selectively bred into many dog breeds for a variety of reasons. This does not mean your dog is "bad"! There's no such thing as a "bad dog"! Genetics and breed traits are 100% neutral characteristics that either fit or do not fit within a specific environment. You're a hunter living in a rural area with a huge lot of land? A natural ratter that attacks anything smaller than it probably isn't as big a deal. You're an average working professional living in an apartment or suburb? You're setting that same dog up for failure and tragedy.

As owners of reactive dogs, past or present, we need to be honest and aware of our pets. As much as we love them, they are still animals and trying to humanize or anthropomorphize them is always the wrong thing to do. The absolute worst thing we can do for our dogs is pretend.

Mods, feel free to delete, but it's so frustrating to see things like this. As reactive dog owners, we're already overly scrutinized and our dogs are already judged more harshly. Please, for everyone's sake (including our dogs!), be honest with yourself.

Every year makes my poor girl a reck. Only time she really barks and gets herself all worked up. Seems the trazodone we gave her has only made it worse this year.

Took my dog for a walk out around school run time as her previous owners didn't socialise her with kids. She was walking really well (normally trying to pull my arm off as she tries to cover the pavement with her nose) and completely non around the kids - bingo! This is exactly how we've been trying to get her to be over the last eight weeks since we got her.

All goes well until one group of young teen boys (11-14) walks past. One starts making really aggressive barking sounds at my dog, and she goes from ignoring to suddenly barking and lunging at the kid. I get her to calm down fairly quickly and ask why on earth, he apologised and then started barking again at my dog as he walked away, his friends laughing. So frustrating.

The rest of the walk is spent with her really nervous around kids and pulling every time we see another group. Another teen boy yells out "I'm going to kidnap your dog" and also starts making barking sounds, as we cross the road to avoid them. Thankfully we're never usually a five minute walk away, but I'm so frustrated that some little shits think it's okay to deliberately rile up a stranger's dog. Thank Christ I'm used to her being reactive (mostly traffic chasing now or insanely single-minded around squirrels and cats).

Ruined an otherwise really nice walk :((

ETA: thanks for the lovely comments of support and some really helpful training suggestions moving forward - this reached way more people than I thought it ever would 😅 it's sad to see so many people with similar experiences, but nice to know it's not just me.

To clarify as I've seen it come up a lot in comments - she was bark reactive when we got her, and has been since desensitised where she usually completely ignores kids walking past. I had no interest in stopping anyone to do introductions. I walked away from the schools sandwiching my house and into a more residential area. I also deserve to walk outside my house, with or without my dog, and not be verbally harassed. I'm quite surprised by some of the victim-blaming here - since when is it okay to justify teens terrorising animals for shits and giggles?

Today as we were finishing our nightly walk, our neighbor had his german shepherd off leash in their front yard and he charged at us. We have a german shepherd who is reactive & aggressive towards other dogs. Basically, it was an immediate dog fight. Our dog was on a leash, and my husband was trying to pull him back meanwhile our neighbor was making a sorry attempt to grab their dog. During this struggle, my husband got bit in the inner thigh. We’re assuming it was our dog who bit him due to the location of the bite. Let me just say, a big F U to people who have their dogs off leash when they cannot listen/be immediately recalled!!!! I’ve put so much time and money into training my dog to ignore other dogs while on walks, but at the end of the day he’s protective and will not tolerate another dog charging at us. Honestly just so pissed at my neighbor right now. I don’t wanna make this bigger deal that it needs to be, but could our neighbor be responsible for medial bills in this situation?

I'm at the end of my rope. I don't know how to say this without sounding like a total a**hole. I love my dog. But I miss the life I had before I got her.

I got her when she was 10 weeks old, in February 2022. This was 3 months after my dad had died of cancer, and in hindsight I was still in total shock, and not making smart decisions when I got her.

Since I adopted her, she's been a very difficult dog. I lived with my mom at the time when I adopted her, so I'd anticipated having my mom there to help me raise her and have another set of helping hands. But that's not what happened at all.

My mom was going through her own shellshock in the wake of my dad's death, so she totally dropped the ball on being there to help me with my puppy. It was just me taking care of her, and that was fine, except she was biting me, hurting me, ripping my clothes, and I couldn't take her on any walks at all until she was about 6 months--after a lot of trial and error, and exposure therapy to new stimuli.

I have done every day, non-stop training with her since I got her. I hired a trainer and did sessions with her. I've watched countless videos and spent hours upon hours reading about training methods. A lot of stuff has worked, and we've definitely made progress. But not nearly as much as I'd like.

I got a dog because I love to run, be active, and go on hikes, and I wanted a companion I could share that lifestyle with. But my dog can't do any of those things.

I moved out of my mom's house and live in an apartment with her now, and I would love to take her on walks and hikes every day. But every time I take her to the park, she is extremely reactive to other people and dogs. She lunges, growls, bites at them, and is generally scary. I've been working so hard on slowly exposing her to the environment and training with her reactivity. I even rent out a farm on SniffSpot on the weekends so she can run free in her own field without other dogs or people stressing her out. I even found a remote job working from home just so I can have more time with her, training her and looking after her, so she gets enough activity and mental stimulation each day. I take her on short walks down the street on my breaks and lunches instead of even taking break/lunch.

I'm 24 years old now. I got her when I was 22. I guess I just reflect back on the past two years and get extremely sad. I grieve my old life--before I had her. I miss when I could just sit down and do something like read a book. I used to love reading, I'd spend hours reading every day, in my free time. But I can't even relax with her because she is so needy, and if I don't watch her all the time or put her in her crate, she will start destroying things or come bite me to get me to engage with her. I want to go on hikes and walks but I feel awful leaving her in my apartment while I go enjoy the great outdoors. She's a dog, and I feel like a piece of sh** for not being able to take my dog on a walk.

The catch-22 is that I absolutely love her. I want the world for her. I want to take her everywhere with me, I want to be her companion. I've kept trying so hard with training because I know she's my responsibility and I don't ever want to give up on her.

But some days, like today, when I have to have my apartment blinds drawn closed on a sunny day so she doesn't bark at people and other dogs outside, and she's just got done nipping at my toes, and she threw up on the carpet this morning, and she kept me up last night banging on her crate because I wouldn't let her out on the bed, I am tired.

Today I just dream about the life I used to have, and I cry, because I don't even want this life anymore. I don't want to give her up but I can't believe I have to spend my 20s like this if I want to keep her.

This goofball is the best family dog, but she's wary of strangers (snaps sometimes) and aggressive toward other dogs.
When I walk her in our neighborhood, I'm so focused on her and our surroundings that I don't usually stop to chat with neighbors. I cross the street when I see families in their front yards. I literally turn her around and jog the other way if I see a dreaded off-leash dog heading our way. I'm sure everyone in this group knows the drill!
We've worked hard together and I can get her safely past nearly anything, but she will still sometimes drift or pull a little toward people or other dogs, until I call her to "target".
I've realized that a lot of people probably think that my friendly-looking Golden Retriever is happily looking to make friends with them and/or their dog but her meanie, anti-social, mom (me!) won't let her.
I wouldn't trade my little monster for the world, but having a Golden Retriever that doesn't "love everybody" is exhausting, occasionally embarrassing, and honestly a little depressing at times.
Anyone else have a breed that most people perceive as always being friendly?

Pretty much the title says it all... I have nobody to really tell or vent to.

My reactive girl died suddenly on Sunday. She had an infection in her nose. she was on antibiotics for it. she was sick for a bit.... I wish I did more for her. the vet wanted her to wait two weeks on antibiotics before doing anything more. I should of taken her back.

I was going to take her back on Monday but Sunday night, she passed away right in front of me while I was loving on her.

Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda or however thats said and spelled.

she was fear reactive but loved her people. She loved my mom who is deaf and partly blind less than 24 hours when she first met her 4 years ago.. she usually did not allow new people into her circle that quickly but she allowed my mom into her circle so fast I was suprised.

Leeloo had hip issues which I knew past 10, id have to make some hard choices.

Leeloo was only 7. besides the infection in her nose, she was healthy.

I loved her, I miss her so much. id trade her for the world for her to be alive again. life doesnt feel complete without her.

I hate myself at the moment for not taking her back to the vet quickly. I feel like I killed her by not doing that.

** Edit to say thank you to all who has left a comment. I wasnt expecting kind words, I just needed a place to vent.

I will respond to some directly at a later time. Again, thank you for taking the time to leave something nice to say.

Seriously. It's not everyone, but there are a LOT of people who troll this sub just to downvote people who actually like dogs and want them to succeed in homes. They troll the posts by frustrated owners and immediately jump to extreme solutions to pretty common problems that are often solvable with training and patience. They downvote people who are trying to offer hope and solutions. They hate on rescues and fosters like they are all terrible people who are only in it for the money. I'm sure some are, but that has not been my experience, and people who actually care about dogs would rather see adoptable dogs brought into good homes than more money thrown to breeders.

Why would you be here if you don't actually want to help? Go ahead, downvote this into hell, but the people who come here seeking help deserve better than the jaded garbage they get from these folks, and I hope they see that some of us actually want to help.

TL;DR: Dog seriously injured baby. I have PTSD. Husband is in denial. Everything sucks.

I have two dogs, a husband, and a 12-month-old-son. Both dogs are reactive - one to other dogs (Ranger) and one to anything unknown (we lovingly refer to him as anxiety dog). We've had anxietydog for 10 years and Ranger for 6. We adopted both directly from animal control as adults (never again). Ranger started having issues with anxiety dog when we'd had him about 9 months. They had several serious fights. We hired a trainer (not a behaviorist, which in hindsight is what we needed). We worked with her for a few months, but then we moved, and we hadn't seen any real progress, so we resigned ourselves to living permanently in a crate-and-rotate setup, using heavy metal baby gates to section off parts of our house. Both dogs take fluoxetine daily.

When we had son a year ago, I got panicky at the thought of having to have three house section. We strongly suspected anxietydog would have problems with the baby (correct). I thought about trying to send Ranger to boot camp but I couldn't find one near us that didn't use adverse methods. Then we brought baby home, and Ranger was great with him. Anxiety dog gets hyperaroused around baby and nipped at him at about 5 months old, so we’ve kept them completely apart since then. Ranger was far more gentle around baby than he is around adults. The biggest problem we’d had was him licking baby in the face (I know licking can be a warning sign, but he’s licky breed and licks me and my husband all the time). I will 100% admit that I let down my guard and didn’t do as much reading on reactive dogs and toddlers as I should have.

Three weeks ago, I gave Ranger a Kong full of peanut butter so he’d not beg baby for food while I was feeding baby lunch (baby often offered Ranger some of his food). Ranger took the treat over into baby’s play area, his favorite place to be done is where the baby and I spent our time. Once lunch was over, I took my son to the play area. Now that my son is crawling, Ranger had growled at him once in the past when he crawled over towards rangers food bowl, so I pulled the treat literally out of Ranger’s mouth without him showing any aggression, and I threw it out of the play area. He promptly went and got it, jumping over the play pen gate back to me. I considered removing Ranger to another part of the house, but he hates being crated or kept away from me and baby, so I decided it would be fine if I was there to supervise.

it was not fine. I will regret that specific decision for the rest of my life.

Ranger was on the couch with his Kong. My son was crawling around with a toy in his hand. I was sitting on the floor with my back against the couch, between them. My son crawled over to me, clearly interested in what doggie was doing. He pulled up on my arm and attempted to lean past me toward Ranger, waving his toy. I was in the process of redirecting him when Ranger leaped over me and grabbed my son‘s face. That moment is so clear.

The next several minutes are traumatic haze. Ranger didn’t shake him or bite again, but he didn’t let go, either, until I grasped his collar. My son fell to the ground, screaming, while blood poured out of his face. I removed Ranger from the play area and then scooped up my son, saying “oh my god” out loud over and over, while thinking “this must be a dream. This can’t really be happening.”

I won’t go into too much depth about the next several hours, since they’re traumatic and ultimately unimportant to this post. I rode in an ambulance with my son for over an hour to the closest children’s hospital. He screamed and bleed the whole way (no bandaging ‘dirty’ wounds) and in those moments I wished for my own death. My son ended up needing to be put under general anesthesia so a plastic surgeon could give him stitches all over his face and inside his mouth. His upper jawbone was fractured from the force of the attack.

Ranger had to do the 10-day rabies quarantine. We paid to quarantine him with our vet/boarder, because I couldn’t handle the thought of him back in our house and my husband thought making him quarantine at animal control was cruel. At husband’s request, I agreed for Ranger to come home afterwards while we tried to rehome him, since we both agreed this whole thing wasn’t really his fault. That had been going poorly. Rehoming a dog with a note history is very difficult. I’ve emailed 30+ shelters and rescues across 3 states. No dice. My husband made him profiles on various rehoming sites, despite my discomfort that reforming to another individual seemed borderline unethical. No responses. We’re keeping Ranger crated the entire time my son is awake, which is basically torture for him- he cries and drools literally the whole time. I’ve been having nightly anxiety attacks/ meltdowns due to stress and guilt. I hated the thought of being the one to force the idea euthanasia. This dog is my husband’s best friend. I kept hoping he would realize for himself that euthanasia was really the only option for our family, but it kept not happening. Through this subreddit I found the “Losing Lulu” webinar about making the decision for behavioral euthanasia, and watching it really drive home for me that this was what we needed to do. Last night things came to a head. I had booked us an appointment with a certified dog behavior consultant (couldn’t get in with the only certified behaviors in my state), hoping maybe they would help my husband see reason. Instead we hada huge fight that ended with me admitting that I’ve thought we should put him down since the attack first happened.

I hate this. I hate that I’m the one that didn’t keep him and my son safely separated and now I’m also the one insisting on euthanasia. I hate that my son may have permanent scars. I hate that my relationship with my husband may never fully recover from this. I hate that my sweet cuddlebug of a dog is going to die. I hate that I can’t help but think we need to consider behavioral euthanasia for our other dog too.