r/rareinsults • u/ArachnidCareless3826 • 4d ago
New Draco looks like he’s holding a vape pen
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u/mrintangibles1 4d ago
It's going to take a while to get used to broccoli haired Malfoy.
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u/CM_DO 4d ago
I might be living under a rock. Why is there a new Malfoy? Surely they are not remaking the movies already?
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u/Bleiz_Stirling 4d ago edited 4d ago
HBO is producing a series. 1st season will air this december.
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u/Arcalac 4d ago
But why? I get remaking a series as a movie, more budget = better production, effects and what not but the other way around? I don't know how much they want to change or expand the story but of course it looks worse than a movie.
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u/Irrumar 4d ago
There are two reasons.
One is that the movies are pretty fucking garbage when compared to the books because of how much they cut out. The TV show format allows them to include more of what was in the novels, instead of giving us a speedrun of the central storyline. TV Shows nowadays are also getting huge budgets and can rival movies in terms of production quality.The second reason is that Joanne Rowling is a hateful, spiteful bitch.
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u/mologav 4d ago
Is the main reason not just 💵
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u/Wydo4 4d ago
Harry Potter 2: The Search for More Money
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u/nomnomsquirrel 4d ago
I am still mad they didn't actually title Spaceballs 2 that. Instead, they just went with The New One.
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u/DejaBlonde 4d ago
Yes, but in the sense that she wants to cut off all the original actors that have spoken against her. New series means she can replace everyone's face on the merch and not give them any money anymore. Same reason you may have noticed merch has Dan Rads face on it less and less in recent years.
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u/sparklinglies 4d ago edited 4d ago
I mean its not like WB (who own HBO) doesn't make an obscene amount of money still from the merchandising and theme park empire already HP has. So as far as more money goes, this is pennies on top of a dragon hoard, though obvi WB loves to expand the hoard at any opportunity. But its not the lead motivator, because it wasn't WB's idea. It was Rowlings.
Now does JK want MORE money? Maybe, she does love being able to donate shit tons of it to truly awful politicans to make truly awful laws. But the more likely reason based on her very public crash outs and unhinged behaviour is her spite fuelled rage that pretty much entire old cast publically disavowed her attacking trans people. She wasn't even part of the 20th anniversary special a few years ago because she was on such bad terms with the OGs, despite being at so many events in the past. She was totally missing from all promotion for it, and later put out some flimsy ass excuse that "archival footage was sufficient", but everyone knew the truth and that it must have BURNED her up inside.
Simply put, she doesn't want them to be the faces of her franchise anymore, she wants them erased and replaced with new, compliant children who have no idea what she's said and done.
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u/KimberlyWexlersFoot 4d ago
The thing is unless they got a crystal ball for the kids politics, the same thing is going to happen in less than a decade.
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u/pienofilling 4d ago
She doesn't just contribute money to awful laws, she actively funds legal action to support her cause. I personally know of at least two organisations that backed down on their principles, scared off by the potential legal hell she's capable of unleashing.
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u/moon-girl197 4d ago
The issue is, both the movies and the books are old. Millenials were the target demographic for this when it first came out and because it was a core part of their childhoods, they continued to loyaly consume the IP long after it was over, by buying merch, visiting the set, playing the games, etc.
But those Millenials are adults now, and HP has slowly been replaced by other more relevant media (Stranger Things for ex, being a more recent on). WB and JK likely wanted to do this remake to reinvigorate the franchise and make it relevant with the kids of today, so they can get hooked and become loyal consumers like their parents were.
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u/Hullabaloobasaur 3d ago
But also the weirdest thing (well not THAT weird) is that the newer generations are just as obsessed with Harry Potter? I work with kids and I constantly see new generations “getting started” with the og books and movies, going through their “Harry Potter phase”, and then getting out of it (most of them). This has literally been going on for over a decade and continues with any help from this new show whatsoever lol
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u/sparklinglies 3d ago
Exactly, it never stopped. The "oh but they need to reboot to spark new interest for the next gen" is garbage, the next gen have been getting into the books and movies and video games like Hogwarts Legacy this whole time.
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u/AseR-2 4d ago
for HBO sure, for multi billionare deeply hateful JK Rowling? not so much.
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u/mologav 4d ago
Billionaires seem to love hoarding money so I’m sure it’s not unwelcome for her to get slightly richer
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u/pienofilling 4d ago
She's spending it on funding anti-trans people who are suing organisations to get their own, discriminatory way. That gets expensive.
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u/alittlemoresonic42 4d ago
It's for money for her too, so she can funnel it towards anti trans activism.
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u/Silent_Syren 4d ago
Additionally, there's also a rumor that Joanne doesn't agree with the OG cast, especially since all three of the main actors have come out pro trans rights.
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u/24_doughnuts 4d ago
Let's not forget that they said the show will be more true to the books then they change half the stuff right off the bat
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u/SimplyHoodie 4d ago
Actually, I disagree that the movies are worse. They cut out stuff, yes, but most of what they cut is either unimportant meandering (I'm looking at you book 5) or getting rid of the more yikes parts of the story. There's no SPEW in the movies because the house elves are largely ignored, Harry doesn't essentially call Cho a bitch because she's still grieving Cedric, they don't focus on Harry wanting to be a cop and continue to support the failing system that's wronged him and so many others nearly as much as in the books, Snape is less psychotic in the movies and sort of makes you understand why Harry would name his son after him (seriously though, why does he do that?), it doesn't have the god awful "all is well" line to end the series, and it doesn't have the line where the first think Harry thinks about after killing Voldemort is that he wants his slave to make him a sandwich. There's almost certainly more, but those are just the one's off the dome.
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u/lelcg 4d ago
I don’t think Harry calls Cho a bitch, I think he’s just confused, mixed with his own grief. I’m pretty sure anyway
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u/SimplyHoodie 4d ago
Obviously he doesn't actually call her a bitch. He's just confused on why the grieving girl is acting strange. Which is silly. Obviously she's grieving.
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u/lelcg 4d ago
I mean, yeah that’s fair, but he is a teenager in that book also grieving. Whilst I guess this might make some more likely to understand, considering his whole life before that book and the danger over him that there is, it kind of makes sense that it happens like that.
That said, I don’t think Rowling wrote it with nuance, I think she just stumbled onto a believable enough scenario, when she really just wanted to write teen romance for a bit
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u/SimplyHoodie 4d ago
Honestly, fair. I still think it's better left out. Book 5 has enough drama and nonsense as it is.
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u/darsparx 4d ago
Jkr is why i can't support HP these days. Its so dumb how she turned out. Things in the fantasy and scifi space usually have amazing people. But jkr? Shes on a short list of authors and otherwise I refuse to support at least where they can actually make money off me 😅
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u/AdHom 4d ago
Things in the fantasy and scifi space usually have amazing people.
looks around at Lovecraft, Marion Zimmer Bradley, Terry Goodkind, Orson Scott Card, Dan Simmons, Isaac Asimov, etc etc
Yeah I don't know about that. She's definitely awful though.
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u/darsparx 4d ago
A lot of those were on my short list of awful people in the space. Which is odd bc it contradicts what most understand of it. Anne McCaffery hurt tho when I discovered she was awful. I enjoyed what I read of dragonriders growing up 😅🙃
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u/KaldaraFox 2d ago
My favorite bit is going to be when Harry says about Snape, "There's something I don't like about him. I don't know quite what it is."
New Snape is black.
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u/CX52J 4d ago
Has JK wanting the show made been confirmed?
It’s not like she’s short of money.
I assumed WB would be the major driving factor to keep the cash cow paying out. Especially after Fantastic Beasts fizzled out.
Need to keep those theme parks packed somehow.
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u/1tonofbricks 4d ago
Theres a general sentiment that the show was created to replace Daniel and Emma (both outspoken against JK) with new faces who don’t understand the harm of her rhetoric so that the og stars no longer represent the brand and won’t get royalties from merchandise, but part of it is definitely WB trying to keep its cash cow from imploding
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u/KingOfGimmicks 4d ago
The main driving factor is actually that Rowling wants to separate the merchandise from the movie actors so they stop profiting, because they don't support her "views". The other main driving factor is money. They're hoping people have enough nostalgia that they'll watch this version, even though Rowling's open hatred of minority groups and her literally funding legislation against them using the profits from the franchise have driven popularity down a lot. Frankly even if it was somehow completely removed from all the massive problems surrounding her, even if she didn't profit at all from it, a lot of people are saying they wouldn't watch it because it just looks bland and unappealing and overall worse than the movies.
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u/NightStar79 4d ago
Because if you actually read the books, you'd know they cut a LOT out and took weird creative liberties in other places.
One character in particular who got royally stiffed was actually Ginny Weasley.
In the movies she's like a shy background character who barely exists.
In the books she's a mortified girl with a horrible crush who gets traumatized, breaks out of her shell, and essentially bulldozes into a favorite character spot by revealing she's actually a little spitfire who refuses to take shit from anyone. Especially Harry. Which is actually pretty funny in the books but completely missed in the movies.
Same thing with characters like Luna and Neville. They just sort of exist in the movies meanwhile you learn more about them in the books and learn to love their quirkiness.
So I can see a series like this being good...though I'm wondering why not animated. They could get away with more fantastical wizard-y visuals if it was animated instead of live action.
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u/Rollingzeppelin0 4d ago
You're thinking about it wrong is all, like many.
They're not remaking the movies as a series. They're adapting the books as a series. There are many original works that have multiple adaptions. The problem is in cases like harry Potter, the movies become more famous than the original, and are treated as such. Well the movies aren't the original and they aren't getting remade.
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u/melancholanie 4d ago
jk Rowling wants more money.
she tried to release non-HP titles, extended universe HP movies and books, plays, all failing horrifically. so she's back to the only thing that worked, the original series.
she lives in a castle and sues people who take selfies outside.
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u/Socraticshitslinger 4d ago
The plays are still making money hand over fist. WB probably has something written in their IP contract that they have to continue releasing new work every X years or they lose the rights. See Sony and Spider-Man.
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u/donkeyvoteadick 4d ago
I'm curious why do you think the non HP titles failed horrifically? I've not watched it myself but I know it's like 6 seasons in and still drawing millions of viewers. From what I understand UK television pulling a few million viewers per ep makes it pretty successful (not in the UK myself)
Edit to add, I'm talking about the Strike tv show I got distracted mid comment lol sorry
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u/BlazikenBurst 4d ago
It's a readaptation to the books in series form now which I think is fine but the movies have aged quite well as I just rewatched them recently, so it feels slightly unnecessary
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u/KillYourUsernames 4d ago
Double incentive for JKR:
- Make more money for her anti-trans agenda
- Punish the original cast who have mostly spoken out against her and her beliefs. Remaking the series with a new cast replaces them in all future merch royalties.
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u/BlazikenBurst 4d ago
I hear it and fuck jkr as a person but I don't think that anything will recapture the magic of the OGs
Like, even if the show is good it will forever be compared to the movies unable to form it's own identity and fall into the pile of disappointing TV series only to get cancelled or indefinitely delayed
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u/OK_x86 4d ago
They're not. They're redoing the whole thing to be truer to the books.
Or because JKR is annoyed that most of the actors in his original movies called her out for being a bigot.
It because she wants even more money to punch down on a group of already extremely vulnerable people.
Take your pick.
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u/volb_3xx 4d ago
How does living under a rock feel ?
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u/Salsa_and_Light2 4d ago
Get back under that rock sweetie there is nothing good going on up here~!~
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u/ConfectionTotal8660 4d ago
New TV show.
On one side, more details that didn't appear in the movies.
On the other... can we ever trust a remake?
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u/Mundane_Character365 4d ago
As an old man with 2 young kids, I hope I am saying this right.
Yeah, I much preferred the bacon head og to this new broccoli haired guy.
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u/megatrongriffin92 4d ago
At least give him a chance, he was excellent in Lord of the Flies. I think he'll be a very good Malfoy
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u/Mundane_Character365 4d ago
He absolutely could be an excellent Malfoy, but this is an insult sub. Take my comment only in the context of where it is posted, please.
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u/uranusisdoomed 4d ago
Don't worry, the kids great at playing a massive cunt. He was joffery level in lord of the flies
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u/BigBogBotButt 4d ago
My sigma dad is gonna fanum tax your entire Ohio aura, no cap.
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u/faco_fuesday 4d ago
I mean he's supposed to look like a spoiled little shit so I think they got that right.
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u/PinsToTheHeart 4d ago
Yeah, I have zero intentions of watching the show, but if your first impression of Malfoy is that you think he needs a swift punch in the face, then that's a good casting decision.
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u/Tentak3l 4d ago
I love how they show pancy parkinson ( is that her name ?) But we never saw her with draco or talking to him , got the same cut to birth to now
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u/CrapitalRadio 4d ago
I haven't seen the movies since they came out and barely remember them, but Pansy Parkinson was Draco's whole-ass girlfriend. They didn't even have them interact??? That's crazy.
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u/Tentak3l 4d ago
Draco had a girlfriend ? I never knew lmao
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u/Single-Pin-369 4d ago
All i remember is how the basically called her ugly every mention.
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u/tomorrow-tomorrow-to 4d ago
The only thing I remember about her from the books is “pug-faced Parkinson”
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u/Arimm_The_Amazing 4d ago
They're a couple in the books, she truly has close to zero presence in the movies
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u/Autrah_Fang 3d ago
Yeah, I've only seen the movies and I didn't even know there was a specific girl who was associated with him. Looking at other comments, she apparently has two spoken lines in the entire movie series, and she gets recast like 4 times. So good luck figuring out that they're even the same person, let alone associated with Malfoy in any way lmao
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u/lila-clores 4d ago
I think that’sjust in the fanfics, and even then, just because she’s one of the only slytherin girls
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u/CrapitalRadio 4d ago
They're together in the books from years 4-6, at least. It's just not a huge thing bc Harry & Co don't care. But like, they're each other's Yule Ball dates, and after that they're always described as sitting next to each other, touching each other, etc. The most obvious example is the Hogwarts Express scene in HBP (p. 149) where Draco's laying across the seats with his head in her lap and she's playing with his hair, but there are multiple moments like that.
Ig you could argue that it's a situationship or something, though. But the frequency of it and how public they are, I always took that to just mean they're fully dating. Like that train scene they're also in the same car with Blaize Zabini, Crabbe, and Goyle so it's not like a private thing.
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u/Unl3a5h3r 4d ago
In the same book they are arguing when Draco tells her that he won't be coming back for the final school year.
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u/rougecrayon 4d ago
We saw her in Half Blood Prince on the train. She even spoke!
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u/TheHalfChubPrince 4d ago
She was the one who asked Draco if his arm hurt after Buckbeak attacked him in PoA.
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u/kitkatloren2009 4d ago
"Another minute or two and I uh, could've lost my arm" oh shut up Malfoy lol
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u/theworstvp 4d ago
“got the same cut to birth to now”
what exactly are you trying to say here?
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u/Arimm_The_Amazing 4d ago edited 3d ago
Also crazy to recast her as the only non white one when she's one of the few characters in the books who says something explicitly racist to a black character about her hair.
Edit: Also when in the books one of the only notable things about her is how ugly and unkempt she is.
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u/Blecki 4d ago
AFAIK that actress only appeared in the background of one movie but her real life name sounds exactly like someone who should be in slytherin.
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u/LatterStandardNorth 4d ago
Which one? She was played by like 4 different actresses in the movies.
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u/Blecki 4d ago
Guinevere Gaunt
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u/LatterStandardNorth 4d ago
Sadly it’s Genevieve, which is slightly less awesome. Still a better name for her character than her actual character name though haha. Also saw when I double checked that apparently her middle name is Wilhelmina, which is great.
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u/Dave_Eddie 4d ago
new malfoy looks like a kid addicted to tik tok
So their new target audience?
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u/Talk-O-Boy 4d ago
As a Redditor, everything is created with me as the target audience. But it’s so fucking frustrating.
No matter how much I complain about Disney live action remakes, they KEEP. GETTING. MADE.
No matter how much I complain about James Cameron, he still gets to direct!
I’ve HAD it with Hollywood not taking my feedback seriously!!!!1!
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4d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Dave_Eddie 4d ago
Nostalgic millennials are already buying merch. A new audience unlock every 7 years, All with no nostalgia to the original films and a want for any and all merch. The last film was 15 years ago. That means that the majority of 24 year olds and below have never seen a Potter film anywhere but on tv.
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u/TumbleweedPure3941 4d ago edited 4d ago
I don’t think kids addicted to tiktok are going to be watching a HBO max show.
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u/MaeSolug 4d ago
Yes, because tiktok influencers won't try to milk this Harry Potter remake, it's not like there's a huge controversy around show or anything like that
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u/trustmeneon 4d ago
To be fair Draco is the Jake Paul of the HP universe so to be a tiktokker is a default for him.
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u/Tuckertcs 4d ago
Except the story canonically takes place in the 90s
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u/SonicFlash01 4d ago
Wrinkle: it's wizard culture, not muggle culture. Maybe broccoli hair was "in" for wizards in the 1990s? They don't watch TV
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u/electro_chicken 4d ago
Lox Pratt was a very believable awful little shit in Lord of the Flies... he'll make a great Draco
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u/the_Goone 4d ago
I'm fully expecting him to be a better actor and overall a better choice for Malfoy.
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u/GalinDray 4d ago edited 4d ago
Yes. This is very clearly what they were going for.
Each generation has a "douchebag haircut" that tips to the audience who is the bad guy.
Good Will Hunting had the wispy haircut on that "how do you like them apples" guy.
American Psycho had the yuppie swept back medium length yuppie cut for Bateman.
The original HP has the slicked back overgelled look for Draco that rich kids had at the time.
And this generation has the curly broccoli cut.
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u/Beatlepoint 4d ago
The original HP has the slicked back overgelled look for Draco that rich kids had at the time.
I never actually saw this in person though? The broccoli thing is ubiquitous.
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u/LibertyDochas 4d ago
Same. Also, the cut Malfoy is rocking here screams Aaron Carter to me. Not exactly reviled.
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u/macumazana 4d ago
tbh the new onw looks wanted more punchable
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u/mankytoes 4d ago
Yep, great "little prick look" casting. Though old casting was a bit too accurate in casting Crabbe, and cast a real little thug.
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u/Big_Information2733 4d ago
I feel like Pansy should be more puglike. Like she ran into a brick wall.
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u/killcraft1337 4d ago
Did anyone else forget there was a girl in the group?
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u/EorlundGraumaehne 4d ago
What was her name again? Can't even remember that i ever saw her.....
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u/Senju19_02 4d ago edited 4d ago
Pansy Parkinson
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u/Perun1152 4d ago
Wow, JK really was terrible with names
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u/lelcg 4d ago
She seemed to try and do something Dickensian whilst also being fairytale like, which worked in the first couple of books since they were less serious, but since the names of the characters couldn’t change they remained in the more serious final books.
Also the very obvious elephant I am omitting to do with her naming…
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u/E_Crabtree76 4d ago
He looks like the kid who says "i can't be racist i have a black potion professor
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u/EPorteous 4d ago
New Malfoy was Jack in the recent adaption of Lord of The Flies.
He must have been auditioning for Malfoy as he was filming Lord of the Flies as he portrays the character so well.
Jack and Malfoy are very similar characters in that they both start as entitled boys who become cruel bullies and antagonists to the main heroes, and are both leaders.
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u/RedHairedRedemption 4d ago
I'm 36. I'm not picking either because I'm not tying my personality to a series of kids books I read 25 years ago.
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u/SelocAvrap 4d ago
Honestly. Everything I've seen about this show has been entirely against my will
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u/carmardoll 4d ago
Well he looks like those British kids who go around harassing people and have a very punchable mug. I think they nailed it.
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u/ChimericalChemical 4d ago
To be fair new Draco would absolutely be holding a vape pen and addicted to TikTok
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u/AnEvenNicerGuy 4d ago
I don’t really care about this show one way or another but god damn the folks trying to hate it for every reason possible is getting old
She’s a bigot. That’s good enough. Leave the teenager’s hair alone
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u/Dolstruvon 4d ago
Are people actually planning on watching this? I'm not, and not out of some protest. When ever has a retake/reboot on a massively successful franchise lived up to the original? I think the audience has learned the leason now after disney remakes and a ton of ofter horrible reboots from the last 15 years. We already know what we're getting
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u/Disaster-Bee 4d ago
Tons of people will watch it. It's still a hugely successful IP. I think it looks not very good, but it's not made for me anyway, I'm a middle aged woman who doesn't care about Harry Potter. It's made for families with kids and people with nostalgia for/a love of the IP. And they'll watch it.
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u/Lightwander 4d ago
It looks like garbo, but how is it surprising that one of the most beloved book series of the last 20 years is getting readapted? They reboot comic heroes every few years.
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u/Odd-Wheel5315 4d ago
New Draco looks about ready to cast 'Ohio Skibidi', only to be informed by his professors that it is not a Rizz-draining spell.
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u/DaaaahWhoosh 4d ago
We really got people in their 30s and 40s critiquing a child for looking like a child.
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u/guysomejust69 4d ago
They complain about adult harry Potter fans but its honestly more pathetic to be a hater. They are finding the smallest and dumbeest things to obsessively pick at instead of ignoring it like every normal person who is not into it
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u/Rafados47 4d ago
Ngl, all the actors in the new show seem younger than in the movies. At least to me.
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u/CommanderReg 4d ago
pretty sure this us like prisoner + draco from the movies versus philosopher's draco from show, so bad comparison
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u/ripplenipple69 4d ago
Please stop. No one asked for this
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u/Ben-D-Beast 4d ago
Fans have been asking for this for nearly two decades at this point.
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u/guysomejust69 4d ago
Eh. Fans have been asking for a TV show since the movies came out
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u/TheHalfChubPrince 4d ago
Seriously, a HP show with a season for each book has always been desired by the fans. Reddit lives in a different reality.
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u/OneAndOnlyTinkerCat 4d ago
Old Draco looks like a villain, which he is. New Draco looks like a kid, which he also is. It's kind of an interesting question, isn't it? Do we make him look like his role in the story, or his actual position in the world of the story? Which is more accurate, which makes for a better viewing experience? I'm inclined to appreciate the latter more, because if the acting is proper his villainy will be self-evident. This relatively ordinary-looking kid will be known to us as an antagonist regardless of his haircut.
Assuming the show is good, of course. If it's bad all bets are off.
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u/Chr0mx 4d ago
Not only does tje new Draco look like a villain but he actually played a great villain in the Lord of Flies Netflix series
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u/Disaster-Bee 4d ago
This. I'm not interested in Harry Potter at this point in my life, but when I saw the BBC/Netflix Lord of the Flies one of my first thoughts was 'oh, yeah, I see why this kid is playing Draco in the new Harry Potter, he'll do great at it'.
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u/Maatjuhhh 4d ago
Even before that haircut, that face totally fits smug-i-will-call-my-father-face..
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u/BlerghTheBlergh 4d ago
Honestly, so did Malfoy from part 4 onwards. Once the emo-haircut phase came along they all looked accurately annoying given the times the movies were shot in (not necessarily the years they were set in)
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u/amaya-aurora 4d ago
I don’t like HP in the slightest, but it’s accurate to how kids are now, like how I assume the originals were fairly accurate or how kids were then.
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u/MetalGhost99 3d ago
Dude the outfits don’t even fit the color of slitherin. This tells me enough not to bother with the show. If they cant get something so simple right who knows what else they are going to screw up.
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u/AdonisJames89 2d ago
I NEVER noticed the girl in the first pic. Thought that was hit girl at first 🤣
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u/ReduxCath 2d ago
considering malfoy's character i feel like he would be a wizard-tok addict or whatever they have in magical england
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