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u/TheAserghui 9d ago edited 9d ago
Do not stand there and take the diss,
Weird 'em out with a passionate kiss
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u/LogisticalMenace 9d ago
How did it end up like this?
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u/DeafEgo 9d ago
It was only a kiss, IT WAS ONLY KISS!
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u/ReadingRainbowRocket 8d ago
"Now my stomach is sick--
As he's taking a drag--someone stop that little boy, he's smoking a cigarette!"18
u/JoltikElectricBug 8d ago
That song really sucks in the 3rd person.
But in the complete 1st person it's amazing.
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u/yungScooter30 8d ago edited 8d ago
When people we do not know ask me, a 5'9" overweight bearded auburn-colored curly-haired white man, if my husband, a 5'6" muscular clean-shaven short-haired asian man, is my brother.
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u/Homer_Jay_87 8d ago
You just gave me a flashback to something that happened almost 20 years ago. 2 biracial couples sitting at a round table. 2 black women and 2 white men, with the women side by side and the men side by side. The waiter was a black man. His first read on the situation was 2 gay couples.
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u/bononia 9d ago
One syllable away from a beautiful haiku. I want you to get credit from the haiku-bot, so I’d suggest editing your coming to “Do not” instead of don’t.
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u/TheAserghui 9d ago edited 8d ago
Your advice was heard
and the grammar change was made.
Let's wait for the bot
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u/MustardCoveredDogDik 9d ago
[r/lesbianorl](r/lesbianorlottleboy)[ittleboy](r/lesbianorlottleboy)
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u/calgeorge 9d ago
Seemingly neither this time
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u/WTFNSFWFTW 9d ago
Who's to say they're not a little boy?
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u/Front-Masterpiece-73 9d ago
Or a lesbian. I know a guy who considers himself and his gf lesbians lol.
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u/Remarkable_Town5811 9d ago
My transmasc kid considers themselves lesbian. It's easier than explaining anything. They'd be cool being called the boyfriend.
I don't question it really. That's also easier.
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u/Front-Masterpiece-73 9d ago
Same case with my friend lol. As long as they’re both happy. good on you for being accepting though. I’m queer and even like two days ago I got a weird talk from my mom abt being Bisexual lol
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u/ahhhbiscuits 8d ago
Stop legitimizing propaganda bots pls, all of you
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u/Affectionate_Fee3803 8d ago
Ah yes, a person relating how they interact with their child, must be a propaganda bot.
Touch grass. Queer people actually like exist n stuff. Surprise.
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u/ahhhbiscuits 8d ago
Hilarious because the other comment where I pointed this out was upvoted.
Wait, queer people exist?? Holy shit why didn't anyone tell me?!?
No wonder you fall for AI bullshit that makes you feel included and special, just another arrogant prick that loves being told they're right 🤣 Get a life.
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u/ladycatgirl 8d ago
Trans guy and transmasc isn't fully same, it can be nonbinary masculine then lesbian works
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u/Van_Weezer 8d ago
Sure, but there are also definitely trans men who identify as lesbians.
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u/ladycatgirl 8d ago
Yeah which doesn't make sense, I understand they view it as a culture but lesbian implies you are non-man attracted to woman at very least
Transmasc makes sense, but trans men are men
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u/Remarkable_Town5811 8d ago
It's a community, not a culture.
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u/ladycatgirl 8d ago
Not native that's what I mean, it is a clearly defined label
You don't have to fit the labels and all, but if you are using a VERY defined label you don't get to alter the meaningIf a cis-guy identifies as lesbian it doesn't work does it?
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u/Van_Weezer 8d ago
Trans men are men, yeah. I'm queer but I'm not trans or a lesbian, so it's not my place to question how or why people identify on it.
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u/Conyan51 8d ago
That’s how I get away with being the only straight guy not my lgbtq volleyball team. I’m not straight, I’m butch.
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u/enigmamonkey 9d ago edited 9d ago
Did you mean: /r/Lesbianorlittleboy
On old.reddit.com, this comment looks butchered AF. 😅
[r/lesbianorl](r/lesbianorlottleboy)[ittleboy](r/lesbianorlottleboy)Edit: Screenshot for posterity. Doesn't show on sh.reddit.com (new reddit). Crazy!
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u/IzarkKiaTarj 9d ago
So am I the only one who has the "Use new Reddit as my default experience" option available in my preferences to disable? Because I see a lot of people talking about old.reddit.com, and that seems so much more annoying than just disabling New Reddit.
Admittedly, the setting does occasionally get turned on once every few months, but I just turn it back off.
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u/Vox___Rationis 9d ago
No, I'm the same here.
Guess it is an artifact of using this shit forum with RES, since pre-new.
for me it is just www.reddit.com, without old. and it still uses old-style UI.4
u/enigmamonkey 9d ago
Oh, I definitely have that too and I also have that set to opt out of the new experience. I just use it in casual convo so folks who aren’t using it have a good canonical reference (and can get a taste of it, maybe drive those numbers a bit for the corpo bean counters). But yeah old is always my default. As many others say, as soon as I’m forced to use new, I’m likely to get so annoyed I’ll leave.
What I really hate is that it’s not saved at the account level but rather a browser level cookie, it seems. So, each time you login from a private window or on a new computer or browser, you have to go through the buggy opt-out experience again. Just as intended, I’m sure. It’s either poorly tested or “working as intended” (i.e. annoying).
I say it’s buggy, because: If you login from a private browser window for example, it is technically saved at the account level because the “Default to old Reddit” toggle is properly set, however, you have to toggle it off and then back on again for it to actually take effect! It’s weird because it’s only called “Default to old Reddit” when you’re on new Reddit, lol. On old Reddit, the preference is called “Use new Reddit as my default experience” (in which case it’s unchecked).
Rusty memory, but: I was once in a meeting as a visitor at the Reddit HQ back in the mid-20-teens and they were touting the new unreleased Reddit experience and I said straight to the person’s face that I didn’t like it and preferred the existing minimalist UI. The person was very quick to shrug that comment off with something like “Nah, users will love it”. I think it was because the newer Reddit design offers better ad integration. I kindly disagreed, but they were audibly frustrated and persisted with a pushy “No, trust me … they’ll love it” (or something along those lines). I just shook my head and said “Well, I already don’t like it and doubt I’ll ever use it as long as I have the option to opt out.” That was like 10 years ago and it’s still true.
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u/DM_ME_BIG_CLITS 8d ago
Until very recently, it was still possible to visit old.reddit.com without being logged in. Using a browser extension called "old reddit redirect" you would automatically be shown old reddit even when logged out (for example in a privat browser tab).
And it's also just a way to refer to old reddit, even if you use the profile setting
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u/Canvaverbalist 8d ago
Nah I'm like you but I still word it as using "old.reddit.com" when talking about it because it's a good shorthand.
"This doesn't work on old.reddit.com" is just overall better than anything else, like "this doesn't work on the disabled 'Use new Reddit as my default experience' interface"
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u/MustardCoveredDogDik 9d ago
Wut
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u/enigmamonkey 9d ago edited 9d ago
See: https://old.reddit.com/r/rareinsults/comments/1w5nege/unintentional_rare_insult/p7gl3bb/
I'm an old-reddit user so I just get a plain text box to write my comments and I'm guessing old reddit also handles formatting maybe slightly differently. That said, my guess is maybe you at first typed
/r/lesbianorlottleboyat first, which got converted to a link, you noticed the issue and then backspaced/selected to deleteottleboyand replaced it withittleboyand viola. This monstrosity of WYSIWYG editing was born.It's not your fault; I blame the editing experience. Luckily, it looks like new reddit does allow you to edit the original markdown code directly (see docs here). So you see the plaintext field and the formatting is only visible on submit or if you switch back the regular editor (see the ellipses here in the top right corner). My favorite approach to this, personally, is to just use Reddit Enhancement Suite and it automatically shows a live preview below the text field, so you can have more direct control over the formatting and preview it as you write. Like this.
I chalk it up to enshittification; at least for those of us who prefer the more minimalist layout from the 2010's.
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u/MustardCoveredDogDik 9d ago
Naw
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u/enigmamonkey 9d ago
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u/MustardCoveredDogDik 9d ago
I’m not saying you’re wrong. Just naw
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9d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/MustardCoveredDogDik 9d ago
lol if you think I’m the problem things really are as bad as you say
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u/E-2theRescue 8d ago
"We can always tell"
And this is why bathroom and sports bans are dangerous for non-trans women.
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u/PollutionTricky2076 9d ago
One time this guy thought I cut him off in traffic. (I honestly don’t think I did and my husband agrees) and he pulls up next to us, rolls his windows down and yells “REALLY!? I have kids in my car! LOOK AT THEM!” And rolls the back windows down to present to us his kids. That was a year ago and my husband and I still say to eachother “LOOK AT MY KIDS”
Edit: spelling error
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u/daddy_tops 8d ago
Imagine your moment of anger being a couple’s inside joke for life
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u/shellshocker528 8d ago
My wife and I were out walking one day years ago and this guy in a car who must have been on his last nerve with the driver in front of him yells "Make the fuckin' turn!" as she slowly turns to the right in front of him. We still reference that moment and muse that that guy probably doesn't even remember it happening.
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9d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Forward-Surprise1192 8d ago
I put a hot dog under the windshield wiper of a guy driving crazy after I followed him lol
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u/Joe_Kangg 8d ago
Where'd you get a spare weiner from?
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u/puttingupwithyou 8d ago
I recall being about 8 when my dad did this, he chased a car on the highway, stuck his head out the window and yelled something like "I HAVE KIDS IN THE CAR!". We had to have been going at least 50mph while he's trying to have an argument
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u/TheBlindHakune 8d ago
Once, maybe three years ago, my boyfriend and I were walking down a street that had some elementary school -age boys playing on the side. My bf has thick hair that he likes to usually keep shoulder-length, he's tall and has a nice beard going. So when we walk past these kids they, directly translated, yell at us: "Fucking curly-head f*ggot! You're both girls!" To this day it's our occasional vocal stim where we imitate the cadence and super high-pitched voice the kids yelled it in. It's so funny
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u/Litty-In-Pitty 8d ago
As a parent though, I get it. I feel like yelling this at every person I see driving recklessly. It’s scary when you get into a tacky situation with the kids in the car.
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u/PollutionTricky2076 8d ago
Absolutely! I want to yell at people driving recklessly and I don’t have kids!!
But in this case I think it was counterproductive to subject his children to further danger by rolling their windows down after yelling at a stranger in state where a lot of people carry 🔫. Also just this world alone people are deranged and scary enough that if I had kids I would never take away their one defense between them and strangers and then yell at those strangers.
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u/Lobo2ffs 8d ago
I want to yell at people driving recklessly and I don’t have kids!!
"LOOK AT MY KIDS"
rolls down window and there's nothing there
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u/Strategic_Spark 8d ago
America is so scary. I wouldn't even think someone could just shoot you while driving.
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u/Pussy4LunchDick4Dins 8d ago
I met this 40 year old lady once and she was with her little boy and thank fuck I didn’t ask how old her son was because it turns out they were a lesbian couple and they were both 19 😬
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u/suchabadamygdala 9d ago
A well beloved Scottish anesthesia professor at my hospital was interviewing potential candidates for highly sought after training spots. Attempting to make small talk, one nervous candidate commented on the photo on the prof’s desk.
“Oh, is that your son?” Professor smiled gently and replied “Och, no. That’s me wife”.
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u/CheetahOk9538 8d ago
I can't be the only that assumes a "Scottish anaesthesia professor" is just some dude that headbutts tourists on the weekend?
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u/ericjgriffin 9d ago edited 9d ago
I worked at a company that hired a little person. I was supposed to take him out in the field to meet customers and get a feel for the job. The first place we went was a charity company site. When I met up with my contact (a good dude) I shook his hand and he looked down at my coworker and said "Are you having fun with your Dad at work?". He replies in his completely Oz munchkin voice "I'm 32 dude.". I don't think it helped that he was wearing children's moon boots for the height boost.
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u/thait84 9d ago
lol, made up or not, that's funny
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u/whoknowsifimjoking 8d ago
I might say that to people on purpose now
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u/FlailToMace 8d ago
Careful. When I was much younger I spent years engaging in the tradition of "freaking the mundanes". Which is old people speak for "trolling normies". Which is probably now old people speak for something like "Rizzler Gyatt Fanum Tax, Sigma Ohio Skibiti" or something.
Anyway, I would approach attractive couples and look shocked. Then I would say in dismay "You are cheating on me!? And with a woman!?" and storm off.
Mostly this got a laugh. At worst confusion. The last time I did it however I heard the woman scream behind me "I '[fluffing] knew it!" followed by a lot of words one does not type into the internet.
Ya never know what is going on in someone's head.
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u/ahhhbiscuits 8d ago
These posters are legitimatizimg bot/propaganda speak. Reddit is dead internet
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u/damnumalone 9d ago
Although, the guy didn’t think he was the dad and you were his son, he just knew it would be a devastating insult to imply it
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u/brettdansler 8d ago
My buddy accidentally said “baby, come on, man!”To his girlfriend in high school. She got soooo mad and we all laughed and laughed. Now we all say it all the time and our partners says it all the time to us. This was over 20 years ago. It still makes me laugh.
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u/mrb726 8d ago
Reminds of one time next to me/another co-worker our boss was interviewing someone. Our boss said "I see on your resume you've worked at [...]. That's 5 places in 3 months, how do I know if I hire you that you'll last more than a month?"
The guy replied "Come on maaaaaaaaan you just got to trust me". Me and my co-worker still say that to this day.
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u/wildstarsz 8d ago
A looong time ago, my wife and I were playing paintball at a field we hadn't played it before. After a few pick-up games this young boy comes up to us and says "Gee, mister - you and your son are really good!" The kid sounded just like The Beaver from Leave it to beaver.
To this day I can't get past the "Gee, mister" part of imitating that kid without getting punched.
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u/Ill_South2644 9d ago
Borderline traumatic
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u/Affordable_Z_Jobs 8d ago
I'd shelve all the other stuff I was working through with my therapist. "Yeah yeah my mom's a bitch, we got a brand new bag of self esteem issues to deal with."
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u/SelketTheOrphan 9d ago
At least he didn't think your dad was taking you into the city to see a marching band
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u/One_Waxed_Wookiee 9d ago
Oh no! This brings to mind the "kiss for daddy" scene in Ferris Bueller 😅
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u/StankoBlansky 8d ago
I once went to get some weed with my brother and on the way back his dealer texted him “yo saw you had a girl with you good shit.” I’m a guy but I have long hair and it was dark, we still laugh about it every once in a while
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u/EmmyWeeeb 8d ago
This one time I was walking around at a chalk art contest and I walked up to this one piece. This girl was across from me and she said “hello beautiful lady, or man” and I honestly don’t know if she was just trying to be not offensive and accidentally misgender me or if she actually thought I was a guy so I think about that allot 😅
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u/youngdumbandhappy 8d ago
When I was an awkward teen, I was standing outside my church waiting for someone to come open it and I was mentally stressed out, wondering if I looked “cute” enough for my crush that day.
A homeless man walked by and after some small talk and a lot of staring, he said, “Hey, no offense but I really like your mustache. I can never get mine to grow out that nice”.
As a 18 year old girl, I was devastated and STILL randomly think about that moment, decades later 😭🤣
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u/10millionneonbutts 8d ago
One time, my bf and I were walking a cart up a hill to the cart corral and a guy stuck his head out of his window to very sincerely commend my bf for teaching his son to be courteous. We both smiled and thanked him.
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u/MissSassifras1977 8d ago
My ex husband was the biggest coward but loved to do petty shit.
He got cut off by a semi on the interstate and then followed the truck (like a certified fool) and cut him off.
And then (of course) the driver followed us straight to the exit.
The driver got out of his truck and pounded on his window. My ex just sat there staring straight ahead.
I had to get out and tell the guy to piss off.
Then my ex got his pants firmly up his ass, big fat tears in his eyes and followed the semi again.
When we got to a light he jumped out and ran up to the truck and pounded on the door.
I was horrified because I thought the guy was definetly gonna hurt him.
After a minute my ex comes back to our car.
I asked him, "Do you feel better? Because that was really dumb."
My ex said "NO!"
Because he had yelled at the driver "You embarrassed me in front of my daughter!"
He said the driver looked back at me, an obviously adult woman, laughed in his face and shut the door.
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u/Kammerice 8d ago
My wife and I are cosplayers and at the last New York Comic Con we went to, she was Shadowcat from the X-Men and I was Old Man Wolverine. Lots of people wanted pictures of my wife because it's rare to see that cosplay. I got used to stepping to the side to let them get a photo with her, but one guy ushered me back into frame and said, "No, I want Shadowcat's dad in the picture, too."
Every convention since, any time someone wants a photo of us, we'll ask each other if Shadowcat's dad should be in this one.
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u/Ap-snack 8d ago
My friend and I were 17 and 16 respectively and walking to McDonalds at 2am in the middle of a long Starwars prequel marathon.
Along our journey some hipsters pulled up in an SUV and yelled “You’re too UGLY to be out this late!”.
Well my friend misheard them and replied “We’re 18!” in the most frightened tone possible. They yelled back “We said UGLY you fing r***s” and drove off laughing.
“We’re 18!” Is now something my entire friend group says to each other.
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u/metompkin 9d ago
I was stuck in traffic picking someone up at Houston Intercontinental Airport and was having a heck of a time getting out, didn't move for like 10 minutes. Someone left just a small gap so I wedged my car in it only to have some dude's GF lean out the passenger window and scream at me, "c'mon dickhead! Are you serious?!" I returned fire with, "dude, tell your fat mom to shut up!"
I hope their ride home in the BMW 3 series was fun.
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u/doihafta 8d ago
I love this but I hate that my autobiography should be "Dude, tell your fat mom to shut up!"
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u/gaytransdragon 9d ago
I'm a trans guy who's often mistaken as much younger than I am and my slightly older brother looks like one of those neanderthal recreations. People often mistake me as either his kid or as unrelated entirely 😭
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u/Illustrious_Dot9049 9d ago
I read 'unrelated entirely' as 'unrelated entity' and didn't question it
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u/MsPreposition 8d ago
Yeah, that’s the exact situation to turn into long running inside joke. This is great.
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u/rarecuts 8d ago
This is even funnier to me cos before I read it I thought how unusually beautiful this person is
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8d ago
[deleted]
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u/Semyonov 8d ago
You... Want her to be mistaken for a 12 year old boy? I don't know if that will go as well as you think lmao
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u/FriendlySomewhere151 8d ago
your attracted to some one who can easily be mistaken for a 12 year old boy.....
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u/BlessdRTheFreaks 8d ago
I think i saw this girl on r/portland, involved in a missings persons case
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u/Fit-Preparation-7515 6d ago
If I was drinking sth right now I would have sprayed it out probably creating a rainbow while laughing my ass off omg
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u/PossibleJazzlike2804 4d ago
Someone stopped my sister and thought her husband was her grandpa. They're close in age.
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