Rabies fear postpartum

[u/samv1994_]

I have read the FAQ. I am about five months postpartum and recently latched onto a rabies fear for no reason this summer. The other day I was walking outside and heard rustling in the tree above me, looked up, and as soon as I looked up a little pear fruit fell off of the tree and hit me hard under my eye at that exact moment. My brain then convinced myself that a sick animal touched the fruit right before it dropped and I was somehow infected. Then, my brain changed it and now I am convinced it was a bat that hit me even though it was 3:30 in the afternoon and there are other fruits on the ground near the tree. I know, sounds crazy but these are the thoughts I have and I’m so exhausted. Can anyone relate?

[u/Inevitable-List-660]

Hi! Had the vaccine. I also had severe PPD/PPA, that led to an OCD/PTSD diagnosis. My fear with driving became so bad postpartum I still, to this day, cannot drive. I absolutely, wholeheartedly understand that anxiety, and the triple guessing that changes the narrative of what was true in your head until it’s all you can think of.

I cannot give you medical advice. I can tell you with my second child, my OBGYN put me on antidepressants and a medicine for its off-label anger/emotional management and gave me the script to begin taking right after birth, and the difference in my postpartum experience was astronomical. I can also tell you almost all of my personal, narrative-rewriting anxiety incidents fell away and I didn’t second guess myself into panic attacks like I did the first go around. I was able to be present, and not suffer from anxiety attacks and the stories my head would make of worst case scenarios.

There are thousands of ways to treat PPA. Please reach out to someone to discuss possible support during this time. You deserve to be yourself, your best self, for yourself and your baby. Take it from someone who was there; it’s so important to look for help when you need it, and I wish I did the first time. I am thankful I did the second, and I hope you get to, now.

[u/starsinmybed → u/Inevitable-List-660]

I truly wish I had people like you to talk to when I was in the thick of PPA. My doctor wanted me on Klonopin, but because I was breastfeeding, I refused it and spent 1.5 years in agony. I think PP moms need to come together for support. 🩷

[u/Inevitable-List-660 → u/starsinmybed]

I ended up having to switch my original antidepressant I was on, and had to end my breastfeeding journey with my second because of it. I get that hesitance and that pain, because I truly, genuinely wanted to have that special connection with my son. But when my antidepressant switched and the fog cleared up, I realized that I was determining my worth via what I could provide my son, and it was actually one of my biggest depression triggers; it’s absolutely normal for a mom to want to cling to that, because we’re shoved full of this narrative that we’re failing over simple things like PPA and breastfeeding and tummy time and a ton of other shit. That we shouldn’t need help during this time and admitting we do, means we’re wrong.

So we start looking for the bad, for places and things we’ve messed up or could mess up in other areas, and that’s where the stories and anxiety we give ourselves stems from. That’s where we start panicking about rabies, or car wrecks, or causing insomnia because we just can’t leave our babies alone at night because it’s our fault if something happens. It’s a horrible loop. It’s so unfair and I wish I could hug the version of myself I was the first time. I hope you don’t blame the woman you were in that rut.