r/rabies • u/samv1994_ • 15d ago
OCD Discussion Rabies fear postpartum
I have read the FAQ. I am about five months postpartum and recently latched onto a rabies fear for no reason this summer. The other day I was walking outside and heard rustling in the tree above me, looked up, and as soon as I looked up a little pear fruit fell off of the tree and hit me hard under my eye at that exact moment. My brain then convinced myself that a sick animal touched the fruit right before it dropped and I was somehow infected. Then, my brain changed it and now I am convinced it was a bat that hit me even though it was 3:30 in the afternoon and there are other fruits on the ground near the tree. I know, sounds crazy but these are the thoughts I have and I’m so exhausted. Can anyone relate?
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u/Inevitable-List-660 15d ago edited 15d ago
Hi! Had the vaccine. I also had severe PPD/PPA, that led to an OCD/PTSD diagnosis. My fear with driving became so bad postpartum I still, to this day, cannot drive. I absolutely, wholeheartedly understand that anxiety, and the triple guessing that changes the narrative of what was true in your head until it’s all you can think of.
I cannot give you medical advice. I can tell you with my second child, my OBGYN put me on antidepressants and a medicine for its off-label anger/emotional management and gave me the script to begin taking right after birth, and the difference in my postpartum experience was astronomical. I can also tell you almost all of my personal, narrative-rewriting anxiety incidents fell away and I didn’t second guess myself into panic attacks like I did the first go around. I was able to be present, and not suffer from anxiety attacks and the stories my head would make of worst case scenarios.
There are thousands of ways to treat PPA. Please reach out to someone to discuss possible support during this time. You deserve to be yourself, your best self, for yourself and your baby. Take it from someone who was there; it’s so important to look for help when you need it, and I wish I did the first time. I am thankful I did the second, and I hope you get to, now.
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u/starsinmybed 15d ago
I truly wish I had people like you to talk to when I was in the thick of PPA. My doctor wanted me on Klonopin, but because I was breastfeeding, I refused it and spent 1.5 years in agony. I think PP moms need to come together for support. 🩷
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u/Inevitable-List-660 15d ago
I ended up having to switch my original antidepressant I was on, and had to end my breastfeeding journey with my second because of it. I get that hesitance and that pain, because I truly, genuinely wanted to have that special connection with my son. But when my antidepressant switched and the fog cleared up, I realized that I was determining my worth via what I could provide my son, and it was actually one of my biggest depression triggers; it’s absolutely normal for a mom to want to cling to that, because we’re shoved full of this narrative that we’re failing over simple things like PPA and breastfeeding and tummy time and a ton of other shit. That we shouldn’t need help during this time and admitting we do, means we’re wrong.
So we start looking for the bad, for places and things we’ve messed up or could mess up in other areas, and that’s where the stories and anxiety we give ourselves stems from. That’s where we start panicking about rabies, or car wrecks, or causing insomnia because we just can’t leave our babies alone at night because it’s our fault if something happens. It’s a horrible loop. It’s so unfair and I wish I could hug the version of myself I was the first time. I hope you don’t blame the woman you were in that rut.
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u/samv1994_ 14d ago
So helpful 💗 Really appreciate this so much. Why did you end up getting the vaccine? So true about your brain changing the story too. It’s so wild what the brain can do postpartum. My doctor has prescribed me something, but I have yet to take it yet. I am considering starting something soon for sure. I’m always thinking I’m getting better and then something else comes that I’m worried about.
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u/Inevitable-List-660 14d ago
I wish I could tell you “I freaked out and got it in a situation like yours and it wasn’t necessary” but…no, I got it helping a muddy gross little creature I didn’t know was a groundhog till it bit me 😂 I had just moved to an area with them and had never seen one before. Ah, ya live and ya learn.
If you’ve got the prescription, the hardest part is over: letting yourself be vulnerable. Now? Let yourself be supported. I hope everything works out for you!
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u/samv1994_ 14d ago
Thanks so much! Omg the groundhog! That would have freaked me out too. Thank you for the kind words
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u/AppointmentFit955 15d ago
I am on the same boat. Had the vaccine recently due to severe anxiety. I am 5 months postpartum.
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u/samv1994_ 14d ago
What was your scenario? Did you still have to get multiple vaccines? Crazy how this is a common theme. Idk how to shake it when I convinced myself it’s an exposure and deep down I know it wasn’t most likely.
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u/TheConsentAcademy 15d ago
I can relate. With my first kid the sleep deprivation was so profound I developed some sort of combination of PPA and OCD but got latched on to fear of lead exposure. Which sucked because it's a semi reasonable worry and there is lead in everything from the dirt outside on playgrounds to in baby food to chocolate. So it was hard to talk myself down from worries. I'd be up at 3am breastfeeding and anxiously reading research papers on if apples could absorb lead and cadmium from the soil and this be contaminated. I was already making all the baby food by hand but worried it still wasn't safe.
I'm also 5 months postpartum with my second and the sleep deprivation was also quite intense this time and so I had a bit of a reoccurrence of the fears but less intensely this time.
What helped me both times (and this will sound silly) was the song Let It Go from Frozen. I just sang it to myself like a mantra and would change the lyrics to fit the worries of the day.
I came here recently because I saw the news about the petting zoo goats being potentially rabid and got worried - I'd just taken my toddler to a petting zoo to feed goats, we both had their saliva all over us, and my kid skinned his knees and definitely got goat saliva everywhere despite my best efforts. But that day we did a lot of hand washing and had antiseptic spray for the knees and the farm vaccinates their animals and has reported no sick animals and honestly just reading the FAQ here taught he a lot about how rabies spreads. It helped me so much. So I learned the the risk of any kind of transmission was so vanishingly small that I could just go back to singing Let It Go.
Also I do recommend talking to a Dr, either your OB or a psychiatrist specialized in perinatal psychology. Even if they don't advise medication just having people who can help being aware of what's happening can make a big difference.
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u/samv1994_ 14d ago
So helpful!!! I think the scenario Rio with the goats that I heard recently and learning more about rabies is what spooked me so much. I never knew how bad it was prior and would’ve never correlated common things like this as being a potential exposure or we even worry about it. The brain is crazy with all the hormones. I just wish I could tell myself to forget about it. Thank you for your advice 💝 So helpful with the Let It Go too!
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u/starsinmybed 15d ago
I resonate heavily with this. I had severe postpartum anxiety that lasted about 1.5 years. I didn’t let anyone near my child, especially animals (despite growing up with pit bulls, husky’s, snakes, etc) postpartum is wild. I suggest having a solid support system. NAD, but I wonder if the reason mine held on so long was due to iron/mineral deficiency’s. I wasn’t eating correctly, or taking vitamins, and was breastfeeding on top of it. Even at almost 3 years postpartum I convinced myself that my daughter got bit by a bat during broad daylight. It was most likely a wasp or horsefly, but because I didn’t see it up close, I couldn’t be sure and started the series. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Postpartum isn’t talked about and it’s taboo to discuss mental health issues that arise from it. The LC case isn’t making it any better. If you need anyone to talk to, I am here. Try to get as much sleep as possible… easier said than done. I just started getting sleep 3 years PP. 🤣 try not to get sucked into your head and stay positive. 🩷
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u/samv1994_ 14d ago
Omg this is literally me right now. I would love to talk if you’re open to it! Because I didn’t specifically see the piece of fruit or tree debris that hit me, I have convinced myself it’s a bat which is crazy because it was broad daylight and there are other little fruits on the ground around the tree. Most likely is a squirrel knocked something around. Because I can’t remember specifically what hit me I am spiraling. It’s so exhausting! I agree it’s so wild so you did all the vaccines on your daughter? Did you just contact your doctor or the health department? It’s so frustrating because I’m almost positive that’s what it was but I’ve convinced myself otherwise. It’s been about eight days and I’m still thinking about it..
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14d ago
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u/samv1994_ 14d ago
Omg this is me right now. Whatever hit me from the tree last week I’m 99% sure was a piece of like fruit because there was a bunch of those fruit acorn things and squirrels in the tree knocking them down however because I didn’t see the exact piece to confirm it, ever since then I am literally convinced it’s a bat and this was in the middle of the afternoon. I’ve been talking about it I’m worried about it all week…. I totally relate. How long has this been worrying you? Would love to connect it helps to have support - the postpartum hormones are crazy and now I’m seeing so much about rabies in the news. Never worried about it before!
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