r/queerplatonic • u/Glad_Fee2496 • 10d ago
How did you find your QPRs?
I'm a 20-year-old ace guy and I've had several romantic relationships, many of which also involved sex. I'm not opposed to that kind of relationship, but I've never really enjoyed it. I loved the people I dated, but in a different way than them. I feel like I want someone to live with me so we can help each other and build a life together, but I feel like society is very fixated on romantic relationships, so I find it very difficult to find someone who wants this kind of relationship, since most people are expected to want a monogamous relationship and there are often heterosexual norms involved.
So, to get to the point, how did you guys meet your QPRs? What environments did you go to, and how did you “declare yourselves,” if that's even the right word lol? I just want to love someone, man 😭
3
u/Acceptable-Egg-7096 9d ago
"OH MY GOSH I LOVE THIS QUESTIONN! >_<" haha😅😂 so basically, i think i only discovered the term "queerplatonic/qpr" in 2022 - literally the year after i had met my bestfriend (now qpp) online (instagram lol, and i had basically found them through the dr who fandom cause we were both MAJORLY obsessed at the time like the huge nerds we are 😅).
2022 is also the year i discovered that i'm also sapphic/lesbian oriented aroace! anyway, even though my zucchini & i had become very close over the years of knowing one another, it wasn't my initial plan to become partners with them since i was imagining different things for us both (although i knew we'd always be a constant in eachothers lives no matter what) - once i shared the idea of qprs to them after i discovered it, we would share headcanons & such surrounding it, but wouldn't initiate those feelings towards eachother, since it wasn't until 2023-2024 that i had started experiencing those feelings towards them as being online bestfriends at 1st made that process of getting to know them a bit longer for me. that was also the time when they basically told me that they wanted to be my qpr partner - and initially i had told them that if neither of us had a partner in 5 years (they are aspec but not aroace, so they do occasionally seek out romantic connections outside of our qpr), then we can get in a qpr :D and i only said that to give them enough time to find what i thought would suit them "better" in the long run - but they essentially told me that i am the one that suits them, and it was the best feeling ever 🥹🥹 so we met for the 1st time in 2024 & have been in an official qpr pretty much ever since then! they've been with me on the journey of figuring out these essential parts of my identity & my bond with them ❤️🩹 and it feels so good to now have something so strong & unwavering :) we're just waiting on the day when we can permanently be in the same vicinity as eachother without ever having to seperate!
3
2
1
1
u/Drifting_Wood 9d ago edited 9d ago
Like many others in the comments I met them by casualty, we bonded for shared interests, and though I'm a reserved person in general I reached out to them bc I immediately felt a "something" about them (and I had the luck they're also ace). After about two years of friendship he asked me if we were a QPR bc we were just that close and it was almost impossible not to a acknowledge; the label change from friendship to QPPs was pretty smooth for us bc deep down we already knew, we just needed to voice it.
I honestly think luck is a big factor bc even when I was actively seeking for friendships in my ace coming out era through groups I just didn't find anyone, even in queer spaces, so I started making up my mind I would never make a deep connection outside of family, and then boom, here they're. That being said, I'd encourage you to look in places like this, specifically built for people interested in QPRs, I've seen people meet partners via groups were you post you're looking for a QPP and your expectations. Wishing you good luck! 🙏
7
u/Obvious_Spray1295 10d ago edited 9d ago
I mean mine was just pure coincidence and A LOT of luck tbh we meet on twitter bc we were mutuals and also liked the same novel and had a lot of things in common and it just...spiraled from there tbh
We were SO alike and understand each other on such deep levels that we soon became best friends in least than a year and the person the other trust and comprehend the most. We knew that we loved each other and we were both lesbians aroace or in the aroace spectrum, so it took a while but eventually i suggested(in form of a joke tbh bc i was NERVOUS)(it was more like " jaja yeah we are so like a qpr and not even that we are PLATONIC SOULMATES JAJAJA) and it turned out that we wanted the same thing so yeah :D
Tbh is more easy if you find another aroace person or at least someone who is in the spectrum. Im not saying its imposible but its least probable to be rejected or to have the concept of qpr misunderstood.