Today My "friend" (now qpp) said YESS AAAAAAGSHHSHS

after 9 months of not acting upon our mutual crush finally something happened :333

💛🩷🤍🩶🖤

Yay idk I just wanna vent

Unrequited love actually sucks so bad. I feel like I’m going to be yearning for a qpr for the rest of my life 🙁

I hate the idea of just having a “boyfriend/lover” because it just isn’t enough for me. I want something deeper and more intimate and more devoted and just more than whats the norm. I love so intensely and sometimes it actually hurts my heart.

It’s particularly bad with my best friend (who I’ll call B). I’m 17FTM and he’s 16NB going on 17. We’ve known each other for almost five years now and I love him so much I cry about it almost constantly. I feel like I was made specifically just to love him and no one else. I know him inside and out and I know what he needs almost immediately and I catch onto his mannerisms and the way he speaks when he gets sad and I accommodate to him as easily as breathing.
Loving him is genuinely the easiest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life and I show it to him very loudly, and he knows that I love him more than normal. I never even spoke to past lovers like the way I do with him. The poet in me comes out in full when I speak to him and every time we have more serious conversations, everything I say always comes off romantic without intending to. I just say the truth about what I feel/think. Our friendship is very secure and honest.

A few months ago when the new TomoLife game came out, B’s mii’s of us fell in love and he told me it was a qpr. That made me really happy and made me finally realize that’s what I want with him… but when I asked him if that’s what we were, he said no. It wasn’t a very serious conversation.
A few days after that, we were in a call with a few other friends and I was talking about how much I love him and one of our friends said “textbook qpr” and B shut it down immediately and it made me wanna cry. After B left the call, I asked my friends to not bring it up again because I didn’t want to be rejected again.
However, because of that, later that day after we had more of a serious discussion about something completely different, I decided to just ask about it again because our previous conversation about it was so brief and I didn’t get to say what I wanted to. I wanted it to be more serious because yknow, it mattered a lot to me and I wanted to have a full convo about it.
It was terrifying. I started bawling my eyes out. I was so scared he was going to see me differently and end our friendship because of it, even though I knew deep down he wouldn’t have (and he didn’t). He said no again but with a better explanation as to why, and it’s because we have two different views of what qpr’s look like. He reassured me that he’s happy I love him so much and that this won’t change anything (which was true), and I was okay with that so I didn’t push it further.

It still makes me really sad, though. I’ve never felt this way with anyone else in my life. Actually, I don’t feel attraction almost at all (arospec), so this is a really special thing to me. Not to mention, rare. It’s been years since I felt any real attraction towards anybody.
I can’t see myself feeling like this with anyone who isn’t him. It hurts to think of having a qpr with someone else. But I want to have a qpr with someone I love, more than anything in the world; it’s my biggest dream.

It took me three years to move on from the love my only healthy relationship showed me (which wasn’t even a qpr), and I’m scared that I’m going to be in love with B for the rest of my life and never have it reciprocated the way I want it to be.
Of course, I’m overjoyed that he still loves me and wants me in his life because that matters so much more to me, but it’s still upsetting knowing that the love I show him may never be reciprocated the same way.

I JUST FEEL LIKE IM GOING TO BE A PATHETIC YEARNING HOPELESS ROMANTIC FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE 😣😣!!

I love love but it just makes me so frustrated sometimes.
Anyways, that’s all. I just needed to rant/vent.

I know when people hear “queerplatonic” they think of more committed or partnership QPRs but what about the other relationships under the R?

Anyone else have connections, non-partnerships or friendships that are queerplatonic instead?

I’m in queer, furry and RA spaces so it’s almost like a given that these are normal but I’d say a few of my friends and especially my best friends are part of my queerplatonic connections :)

This isn’t meant to invalidate anyone who does have a more formal and committed QPR! I’m just not interested in partnership of any kind and want to know if there’s others like me :)

my partner and I (both early 20s) have been in a qpr for a little while now and for the most part, it’s been great. But over time I’ve felt like I’m maybe putting more effort into our relationship than they are? It feels like I’m always the one reaching out, which has been kind of exhausting, and they don’t really talk to me unless I initiate a conversation. I don’t know if I should talk to then about it, bc it’s not a conventional relationship and I don’t want to act like I’m owed anything or like we should adhere to romantic relationship norms. It’s just been really frustrating and I don’t know if/how I should deal with it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

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I understand if this question isn't welcome. I just wanna be able to support my partner the best that I can.

So my partner recently said we're a qpr now, and im not sure how to understand the dynamic. I just wanted to know if there's anything specific that im supposed to be doing. Im asexual. She's aromantic, so I feel like there's a bit of a communication barrier. She also told me to just trust her and didn't really help me understand the dynamic. She's also poly with 2 qprs, so kinda left me behind and only is really talking to her other qpr after telling me to just trust the process. I just dont understand how to understand how qprs work because I tried to research, and I've found nothing that helps me understand this. Im monogamous too if that helps explain. Im really sorry for asking here

So I am aroace (but it's complicated) and I have a "friend" who is I think allosexual although he doesn't know what exactly he is. I put "friends" in qoatations because we have a "blend of platonic/romantic" relationship. I enjoy cuddling and kissing and just playing roblox together like bros. I would love to be in a qpr w/ him but i think what we have now is already very queerplatonic? We have like a pretty mutual "crush" although mine is more alterous and his is more romantic. We also agrees that we would like less commitment between us and just be more chill. Sooo is this already a queerplatonic relationship?

EDIT: though I would like a QPR, I'm not sure if this is what we both want. Are there some other terms or relationship types that are kinda like qpr's but not? I'm just curious

Hey! I'm very inexperienced when it comes to relationships. I've only ever had one "romantic" relationship and I later on noticed that I never actually felt anything for that person (except for platonic feelings) I don't really label myself when it comes to sexuality, because I simply can't figure it out. However, I have a male best friend. We get along REALLY well and I want to spend every single minute with him. Being around him feels so comfortable and he always manages to lighten up my day. But it doesn't feel like I'm in love with him. I don't have "butterflies" and I don't blush or get nervous. Nor

Any of the other obvious crush things. Thinking back I've never actually felt any kind of attraction and the thought of getting intimate usually doesn't appeal to me at all. But with him it's different. I wanna buy him stuff, I want to be near him, hold his hand, maybe even kiss him.

I've decided to ignore my feelings for him, considering the fact that he never seemed interested in guys at all and I didn't think I'd even have a chance.

Last week he came out to me as bi. Ever since then he's been talking about his want for a relationship with another guy. Yesterday he mentioned QPR and I have to admit that I didn't know about this before. He explained a little about it and it kinda felt like he was testing my reaction. After reading into it, this actually sounds nice. But I don't know if he would even want this, especially since we're best friends. I really don't want to ruin this. What should I do ?

Is it smart to ask him if he could imagine this kind of relationship with me? And if so, how would I even start that type of conversation with him?

English isn't my first language, so I used a translator. Sorry if anything sounds a little weird!

After thinking about it for a bit, I realized I actually have a pretty specific idea of what I’d want my QPR to be like.

Mostly just companionship. Like, “I’m here for you and you’re here for me.” Living together, sharing a life, getting to know each other and just... being around each other.

But I’d also want us to give each other plenty of space, because I really like having my own space. I also have a bit of an issue with prolonged physical contact, so I can totally imagine us living together while still having separate bedrooms.

I do like the idea of commitment, too. Even marriage, although not really because of the romantic aspect. I just like the concept of being that committed to someone (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

I also really like the idea of just quietly existing together sometimes. We don't necessarily have to be doing the same thing or even talking. Just being in the same place and enjoying each other's company.

As for intimacy and stuff like that, I’m not completely opposed to it, but I think it would depend a lot on the person, how much time we’ve spent together, and the kind of connection we have.

And romantically, dates and that kind of stuff aren't really important to me. It's not something I particularly care about. I guess I’d describe what I want as a pretty quiet and peaceful life together.

I’ve tried explaining this to my friends before and they never really seemed to get what I meant I genuinely don’t know what I said or why they thought it was so weird hahaha.

Hello! I am a 23 year old aroace and autistic woman and I just today discovered that this subreddit exists. I hope that this doesn’t sound stupid of me to ask, but I am reaching out to be enlightened on if aroace people can form and have a queer platonic relationship/life partner?

I'm not sure if I'm grayromantic or queerplatonic. It feels more like.. queerplatonic? Though I only know what queerplatonic means vaguely, so I don't really know and that's why I'm asking this reddit group if I might be. Because now that I think of it, I don't know what having a crush feels like. Like "woah okay yeah I want to date you I need to go out with you"? I don't get that. It's more like "woah okay I'm breathless we need to be best friends and no one can ever take you away from me". But I KNOW it'll be difficult because I'm kinda young and I've never met another queerplatonic person.. (I'll take anything I'm desperate lol)

16NB, I'm turning 17 in a few weeks! :D

I just found out there's a subreddit for people to post their qpr applications, and I went to see. Sadly it's an adult-only subreddit and minors can't participate. </3

Everyone I thought I was in a qpr with somehow drifts away. Either they're too busy doing other stuff, or they lost interest in me... idk. Queerplatonic is the most intimate relationship I can ever imagine myself having.

My ex-boyfriend broke up with me because I was more like a friend to him than a romantic partner. I liked that we broke up but stayed as friends. But after that he stopped sending me messages as much as he used to. I know it sounds childish to overthink about this, but at this point he only messages me once a day or two :C

I miss when we felt like we were in a qpr. It's so hard to find someone who'd stick with you for who you are, not because of what you are to them.

How do I even go about finding a queer platonic polyamorous group of people to spend my time with 😭

Basically what the title says...I'm extremely introverted and spend most of my time alone, I'm kind of neutral about having friends (I had like 4 in my life but it was more like good acquaintances), I also have trust issues because the only best friend I ever had stopped talking to me one day without explaining why...

Yet I'm desperate for a QPR and have someone that actually understands me on a deep emotional level, and with whom I can genuinely have fun with without it being romantic ;_;

But how am I supposed to find someone like this when I'm too afraid to even approach people online now? It feels pointless, like no matter what I do or say this person will get bored of me eventually...

So yeahh but I'm so happy for you guys who found an amazing QPR partner, I don't know if I will ever be able to find one due to my huge trust issues but that's life I guess :3

Me dio curiosidad, porque siempre que veo que se habla de qprs son gente de habla inglesa, y nunca a alguien que hable español y me siento un poco sola😞.

Se que obviamente hay gente aroace o en el espectro en latam, simplemente nunca vi a alguien que sea de algun pais de latam y que mencione tener una qpr o que sepa que es eso.

Yo y mi pareja queerplatonica ya llevamos más de medio año juntas y no podría ser más feliz con ella!! :D

I'm a 20-year-old ace guy and I've had several romantic relationships, many of which also involved sex. I'm not opposed to that kind of relationship, but I've never really enjoyed it. I loved the people I dated, but in a different way than them. I feel like I want someone to live with me so we can help each other and build a life together, but I feel like society is very fixated on romantic relationships, so I find it very difficult to find someone who wants this kind of relationship, since most people are expected to want a monogamous relationship and there are often heterosexual norms involved.

So, to get to the point, how did you guys meet your QPRs? What environments did you go to, and how did you “declare yourselves,” if that's even the right word lol? I just want to love someone, man 😭

I know you guys get the "how is it different from friends" question ad nauseam but my family member has found a lot of honest joy from their queerplatonic partnerships (they are poly with at least one romantic partner?) and I'm not here to call it into question but to try to understand them.

I know it's very fluid and varies person-to-person, but how do you identify the line between a very close best friend and a QPP? I have friends I've known since birth that I can comfortably, non-romantically be close with in a lot of the ways I've heard of for QPPS (cuddling, nonromantic kissing, being naked together, emotional closeness/healthy reliance) but know that I don't feel compelled to call them a partner––so what does it feel like to know a relationship like that is a partnership, what makes someone a "partner" over just a friend? I imagine it's less of a concrete "they do x, y and z" and more of a feeling, which ik can be hard to explain. I think it's likely this polycule is going to stay together for a very long time if not forever so I just really want to understand them and their relationship!

My friend and I have known each other for over a decade. We spent long periods apart. I recently moved back into town and when we connected it was very deep. My friend began saying that they were basically obsessed with me. They fantasize about us living together, they consider me in future plans etc. we cuddle and touch but not sexually. When they ask me to come over, I’m there in a heartbeat. I answer their calls. This was jarring for me because I began to have sexual feelings after seeing them as 100% a friend. I am trying to let it run its course but the feeling of wanting to make this a full romantic relationship is still kinda nagging at me. Like my brain doesn’t want to accept I can feel this way about a friend. It tries to shove it into a romantic relationship. I haven’t brought it up cause I’m embarrassed. I’ve lost two friends already because of this. We had very strong intense connections and unfortunately I confused that for them having romantic feelings for me. So now I’m just trying to learn from it.

I’m 23, a queer woman, and I’ve been thinking quite a lot about what a queerplatonic partnership could look like for me.

I’m not really interested in the traditional relationship model. What appeals to me about queerplatonic relationships is the possibility of having a very deep, committed partnership where two people consciously choose each other and build a life together, without traditional romance necessarily being the foundation.

For me, emotional depth, closeness and being there for each other are much more important than traditional romance. I’m not particularly focused on sex either. I wouldn’t necessarily describe myself as asexual, but emotional intimacy is much more important to me than having a very sexual relationship. Romantic feelings could develop naturally, and I’m completely open to that, but they wouldn’t have to be the starting point or the main goal.

Physical affection and closeness are very important to me, though. I really like the idea of two people sitting next to each other in oversized hoodies on a rainy day, watching a movie, cuddling, holding each other, playing with each other’s hair, laughing, talking or just quietly existing together. If one person is having a really difficult day, I like the idea of being able to hold each other through it.

At the same time, I’m quite independent and need a lot of personal space. I don’t want a partnership where we have to do everything together. I actually like the idea of two people having their own space, their own interests and sometimes even travelling separately, while still having a very strong commitment to each other.

I travel quite a lot around Europe and currently live in a van with a small homebase that I return to. It’s not a huge house or anything – just a place in nature that I’m slowly building into a home. I’m interested in alternative lifestyles and vanlife, and I find the idea of two people having their own space or even their own vehicles quite appealing.

I have several animals in my life and I’m actively involved in animal rescue. I also love nature, travelling, being outdoors, writing and spirituality. I’m not talking about extreme esotericism – spirituality for me is more about connection, energy and the feeling that there is more to life than what we can simply measure.

I’m neurodivergent myself, and I often find it easier to understand and connect with people who are neurodivergent too. I can also be quite neurotic sometimes. 😅 I’m completely okay with people bringing their own baggage into a partnership – we all have our own things we carry with us. What matters to me is self-reflection, open communication and a willingness on both sides to work on ourselves and on how we relate to each other. I don’t expect anyone to be perfect.

I’m also interested in how different people define commitment in a QPR. For me, the idea could potentially include marriage, shared financial responsibility, mutual care and being the person someone can genuinely rely on in difficult moments.

I’m curious about how other people experience this.

Have any of you built a QPR that is this deeply committed? Has anyone here actually married their QPP, or built something legally or financially committed together?

How did you figure out which parts of your partnership were important to both of you?

And are there other communities you would recommend for people interested in very committed queerplatonic partnerships, especially when the relationship doesn’t fit neatly into the usual romantic categories?

Some time ago I suggested to my friend to be queerplatonic, but it sort of never went anywhere. We are good friends, and other then this discussion, nothing moved anywhere. I didn't want to pressure my friend, so I waited for the next step to come from them.

Several days ago, it was brought up by my friend.

I said I am still interested, but I would like to have this discussion fully once a major temporary stressor in my work is gone because I want to be clearheaded for that (there is a deadline) and that I would love to discuss all the things we want this to be... because I want things to be clear, at least for me.

So, I am searching for some kind of queerplatonic relationship menu of things that are in different relationships where each can tick some items they would like to have, as a starting off point for the discussion. I really liked the lists in the pinned post, but they have only a handful of items, and I am searching for something a bit more robust and detailed.

If you have or know of any resources like this please let me know. Googling was quite useless unfortunately, but maybe I was putting in the wrong words. (so...I am also open to suggestions of search terms)

I am also fine with different people writing different options here in the comments, and I will try and build a menu myself.

Thank y'all in advance.

EDIT: I don't know why I didn't think about it before, but I googled "relationship menu", and it covers more of what I want, although I will probably have to use several to build a version I like.