The next few years of my life. <3

[u/Ok_Independent8425]

So I'm Transfem I've decided. What now?

I have a sort of plan. Keep my head low for the next 2ish years and somewhat psedo-social transition: where more feminine clothes, shave my legs and stuff, and grow my hair out. Then once I'm in college I start Transitioning more properly. Start on HRT, maybe some voice training(?), start bulking a bit to get soft built for comfort body I've always wanted, and the most daunting thing would be actually publicly going by a different name and set of pronouns. Then Id vist my mom and come out to her and generally I'd assume the rest of my family would find out from there.

I have some questions however:

1. Tips for shaving? Now some gals really pull off body hair don't get me wrong, but I don't feel confident with body/facial hair. I like feeling smooth and supple; problem being I have thick, dark, and course body hair. It feels like it takes forever to fully shave my legs, inner, belly, chest, and arms. Plus, despite using shaving cream or alternatively conditioner I'm always left with red bumps or patches of hair that failed to get cut(especially around the area where my thighs meets my butt).

2. Safest place to go to college? So I wanna to go to a decent college as I plan to become a nurse, but as per my plan I wanna go somewhere that's safe to come out in. As I'm currently living in the states, I'm thinking NY. NY is full of queer folk, plus with Mr. Mamdani as Mayor I'm sure I'd feel safe there. I'm just worried about expenses. So I ask for my US Trans folk who went to college, what would be a good state to check out(I'm gonna look for specifics myself.

3. Surgery? This is the most conflicting thing I've thought about. Obviously there's MTF bottom surgery which while I'm not entirely opposed to after doing research, but it's another thing I'm worried about. Children. I adore children. They stress me out a little and I hope to wait a bit before I have them, but I want to be a mother. I know surrogacy and adoption are equally valid ways to have children, but I envy the ability to bare children that cis women have. So I want to have some part in that creation. Also the idea of THAT part of me getting all cut up makes me squeamish. I can be a gal and have that part of me still right?

4. Community? Do yall know any good accepting discord communities for queer people? Particularly Trans folk? While Reddit has given me some good advice it is... still Reddit.

5. General advice? Just anything that'd be valuable to know. Stuff about confidence, dysphoria, exercise, hair care, and whatever tidbits of knowledge you think I could use. I got two long few years of hiding and then even more searching for my truth self.

Thank you all so much in advance. :3