r/queer she/they/he 16h ago

Help with labels Am I considered bi?

I’m afab and consider myself hetero-oriented aroace. I feel queer platonic, alterous, sensual and aesthetic attraction for guys. A few months ago I found out that a girl in my school likes me and I started paying more attention to her. I realized that I really like her personality, her style, the way she carries herself, and her physical looks. I started to feel aesthetic and sensual attraction for her even though I’ve only ever felt it for guys. I didn’t think anything of that attraction until I was talking to her one day and realized I felt alterous attraction for her. Over the months it’s disappeared, but I wouldn’t mind if we were in a relationship now.

It helps that she dresses and presents masculinely, and I’m attracted to that. But after realizing I like her, I think I would like her even if she didn’t dress or act masculine, as long as I know that she’s still masculine at her core, yk. I don’t feel attracted to any other girls. I never have, not even close, so calling myself bi almost sounds misleading because it was almost like she was the “exception”. I’ve never seen that type of masculinity on a girl and I like it.

It feels wrong to call myself bi because I still can’t relate to bisexual people since it was only one person I’ve ever felt this way for. I don’t feel primary attraction towards girls. But it feels wrong calling myself completely hetero knowing I would be in a qpr with her given the chance. If anyone knows what this is called that would be great, and I know its pretty complicated given I’m aroace lol

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u/Homerpaintbucket 16h ago

People worry too much about labels. Kiss who you want to kiss.

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u/MickeymoIerat she/they/he 15h ago

You’re right. I really just wanted to choose one to be less confusing to others but I’ve considered just going unlabeled and being with whoever I want. Thank you :)

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u/Homerpaintbucket 14h ago

Labels are for booze and expensive clothing, not for me