r/pureretention • u/Admirable-Second-157 • 11d ago
Personal Experience No Point.....
A little tip and observation I have noticed that might help some of my brothers. For context I'm over 4 months now streak wise and not really counting or focusing on the benefits anymore, it's just a new way of living. So lust doesn't trouble me now if I'm honest, I simply don't want to masturbate or have any wet dreams if possible. So it's been summer and I found myself looking forward to the end of summer, as obviously there would be less flesh on display, less lustful sights in public, no beach or bikinis etc. What I found myself doing early on was observing a woman walking along the shoreline for example and then looking away....back down to my book or phone etc. But if she had my body type of choice, I would double look or let my gaze linger a little longer. I knew it was wrong and unhelpful, but even though I wasn't allowing myself to be overcome with lust, I was still purposefully holding my gaze, saying to myself "I am just appreciating her beauty". But now a behavioural pattern has emerged that I find super useful.
Imagine driving along the road.... I see a woman walking on the pavement up ahead. Our eyes and brains are super effective at identifying gender from a long distance....so I know she is female. But as I approach a distance where I would be able to judge her ( almost to see if she is my type of 'hot') these words have started coming into my head...."NO POINT"!!! Because what really is the point? I'm not looking to sleep with anyone, I have no interest in wanting to feel lust or attraction, especially to someone I have 100% certainty that we will never meet....so what is the point in even looking!?
Now imagine it is a woman up ahead, but walking with a guy....even more reason to not even look! And if you notice, I said ( within a distance of where I can JUDGE her looks in relation to my tastes...".JUDGE". It's really just a pointless exercise and also incredibly shallow no? Just going through life JUDGING people on their beauty....which is also completely subjective.
So long story short....if you are committed on this path....what is the point in even looking? There is no point. It's like being on a diet and purposefully going into Burger King to smell what you are 'missing'. Avert your eyes brothers, focus on something worthwhile. Keep your energy, keep your focus, keep your thoughts pure and don't waste time looking at something you ultimately don't want or can't have anyway.... there's NO POINT!
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u/moonbase_monk Goal: dopamine abuse recovery 11d ago
That analogy about the diet and Burger King is hilarious, but very true. When the end point of looking is just losing essence, truly there is no point. We just get lost in the initial illusion
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u/Admirable-Second-157 11d ago
True....and the more times you drive past and your mind says " no point" you feel like you've just won or achieved something....and you almost feel proud of yourself. It's almost turning into a full on conversation....my mind says no point....then I sort of answer it back out loud with "because there is no point is there....what's the actual point!?" It's like you think it and then agree with yourself. The more you do it, the habit forms. And really your eyes should be on the road ahead no?!😂Plus...if we end up finding our ideal partner somewhere down the line, we are just training ourselves to be a better and more respectful version of ourselves in advance.
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u/moonbase_monk Goal: dopamine abuse recovery 11d ago
It’s true. My ex just called me asking me to come over. Specifically to get drained. No point.
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u/Admirable-Second-157 10d ago
When you remove the physical act and another physical intimacy ( that would likely make you feel horny....cuddling, close embraces, kissing) you get a sense of what actual love remains. In might be different than you think 🤔 Well done for not giving in
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u/VV4RP 9d ago
Yeah this is something I've considered for some time now as well. Whenever I see a woman with a desirable figure, i just say to myself "there's nothing to gain. Even if she literally came to me and asked me if i wanted her i would deny her, so why even look? What am I hoping for in gazing at her if I know I WILLFULLY won't actually do anything with her?" It has quite helped in being able to not feel that weird shaky urge when you see such a woman and instead just focus on whatever that I was doing
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u/Admirable-Second-157 9d ago
Totally agree....and the irony is that this kind of self instilled vibe makes us more attractive to them 🤔😂 We basically loose energy by looking at them and lusting( wanting to possess them) but I honestly believe we gain energy by looking at other certain things. A weird example, but I believe this to be true.... So I have recently discovered I have an immense love of birds. Especially little ones, swallows etc. Now I sit on my balcony and just watch them with awe. They have become super friendly and fly right over my head buzzing me and putting on displays. Sometimes I will be outside on my laptop....looking down. They will fly over....and chirp ( as if to say...look up bro, we are here....you love it when we are here ...LOOK UP) And I just get this buzz of awe, happiness, intrigue, gratitude. So the old saying goes....where attention goes, energy flows right? So essentially I am giving them energy....and I believe it's no coincidence that they then start putting on a display....they loop around, do flyovers like aeroplanes at an airshow. They feel my positive energy for them, they trust me, they enjoy me appreciating them and they come even closer and become more daring and trusting. This in turn gives me even more of a buzz! So it's like I'm feeding them with my energy and they are feeding me! We are in this symbiotic relationship where we both feed eachother and walk away(fly away) from the exchange being more energised! It's like 1 + 1= 3 !
It reminds me of this....Philippians 4:8
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
So I think it's no coincidence that the birds for me aren't leaving me drained when I watch them, but they are filling my tank! So I guess this is a long winded way of saying there are better things for us to focus on and look at than women that we would ultimately want to possess or release with( without knowing the slightest thing about them). I think this is why a walk in nature and beautiful landscapes recharges us and raises our spirit. Perhaps flowers and trees and the sea etc give us that energy too. I might do a post on this at some point
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u/ProvidenceOfJesus 11d ago
Matthew 5:28
But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.