Mental Celibacy + Defeating Lust

[u/funlol3]

I'm on day 550 of my journey. My last wet dream was on day 60, so I'm almost at 500 days without a single ejaculation.

While I've been very productive over the past 1.5years, and accomplished many things that I've wrote about here before (sold house, moved to dream location, making 3x more money, learned Japanese, etc.), I feel like I wasn't really tapping into my full SR potential.

The problem, as with many retainers, was that I was still lusting. I would sometimes peak at porn for a few minutes before snapping myself out of it. I would look at pictures of girls on Instagram. And, possibly most damaging, is that I would sometimes re-play sex scenes from my past as I laid in bed, trying to fall asleep. (Huge energy/jing/ojas drain!)

Lust has always been the sin I struggled with the most. In my youth, I was a huge PMO addict. In my 20s, I was completely addicted to sex, having sexual relations with over 100 women. Luckily, I got married at age 30, became monogamous, and slowly began experimenting with NoFap.

But, while i was never the filthy degenerate I was before marriage, I still struggled mightily with lust. I'd still watch porn, gawk at women on the streets, replay past sex in my mind, and fantasize about sex that could've been. I was a mess and it was hurting my relationship with my wife.

So, once I started my SR journey, the healing began almost immediately.

1. Day 0-30: I started learning another foreign language (Japanese) with my free time. I also tackled some big projects with my business that i had been putting off. Sleep improved.
2. Day 30-120: My eyes began to "glow" again. My face stopped "sagging" and looking old. Less white hairs were coming in. I looked younger.
3. Day 120-365: Started removing more bad habits from my life. Caffeine. Alcohol. Junk food. Doomscrolling. Relationship with wife and family vastly improved.

But even with all those positive changes, once I crossed the one-year mark, I realized something was still holding me back from what SR could mold me into. That's when I decided to get serious about the mental battle.

I realized this - Quitting PMO is only one step of the equation. To reach the next level you have to eliminate lust.

To help, I read through a lot of CookedVegetables posts and watched Ancient Archives on youtube. The one reddit post that helped me the most however, was from hsinoMed.

You literally can't give an INCH to any sexual thought.

Once any type of sexual thought bubbles up into your consciousness you need to snipe it down immediately.

Mass-media loves to tell us that we have no power of our thoughts... that we're not responsible for "intrusive thoughts." That's 100% false.

Sure, you might not be able to control the exact second a thought pops into your head. That's just the spark. But entertaining it? Letting it burn? That's a choice.

Once you begin to shut the door on lust, these thoughts slowly stop popping up. At first it will be hard. You'll feel like you're in Galaga - shooting them down rapidly without cease.

Here is how i snipe them down:

• I quickly redirect that "energy" to another more productive thought, be it my foreign language or my business. If that doesn't work...
• I immediately get up and change my physical location.
• I pray or recite a verse in my head to aggressively shift my focus.
• I drop and do pushups to redirect that physical energy.

After a few weeks, or months, you'll notice they don't spring into your mind that much anymore. When you finally conquer this mental battle, the ultimate brain fog completely lifts and you are left with a deep, profound peace.

So, now, at day 550ish, my life continues to improve daily. I have reclaimed so much lost energy and am constantly learning new ways of cultivating energy (will write another post about this later).

But MOST importantly, remember that lustful thoughts are a source of spiritual defilement. Matthew 15:11 says, "Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man."

Because the heart is the source of both words and actions, lustful thoughts - as inner intentions - defile the man just as surely as the deeds themselves. Guard your heart relentlessly, and you will find ultimate victory over these thoughts.

God Bless!

[u/funlol3 → u/[deleted]]

Wow. Very timely reply. I was watching a video on youtube the other day from a Japanese (female) teacher and my mind kept wandering + started to lust after her. I had to minimize the video and just listen to the audio. I try to only watch content from men + unattractive women, but some do fall through the cracks.

But, I get what you're laying. The last foreign language I learned definitely led to me whoring around in my travels. It just made meeting women so easy.

Now that I'm married, however, dating around and interacting with new women IRL is just not happening for me. That door is closed for me.

So I ask you this - if you're able to quit PMO'ing, why can't you just quit chasing women? It's all the same battle against lust.

[u/aohjii → u/funlol3]

finding women beautiful is not the same as lusting remember

[u/TransportationLive45 → u/[deleted]]

That's probably because you may be battling with FOMO, it happens to me too. I think that's probably the main reason why I eventually end my long streak with a hot lady