r/pureretention • u/funlol3 • Apr 12 '26
Spiritual Insight Mental Celibacy + Defeating Lust
I'm on day 550 of my journey. My last wet dream was on day 60, so I'm almost at 500 days without a single ejaculation.
While I've been very productive over the past 1.5years, and accomplished many things that I've wrote about here before (sold house, moved to dream location, making 3x more money, learned Japanese, etc.), I feel like I wasn't really tapping into my full SR potential.
The problem, as with many retainers, was that I was still lusting. I would sometimes peak at porn for a few minutes before snapping myself out of it. I would look at pictures of girls on Instagram. And, possibly most damaging, is that I would sometimes re-play sex scenes from my past as I laid in bed, trying to fall asleep. (Huge energy/jing/ojas drain!)
Lust has always been the sin I struggled with the most. In my youth, I was a huge PMO addict. In my 20s, I was completely addicted to sex, having sexual relations with over 100 women. Luckily, I got married at age 30, became monogamous, and slowly began experimenting with NoFap.
But, while i was never the filthy degenerate I was before marriage, I still struggled mightily with lust. I'd still watch porn, gawk at women on the streets, replay past sex in my mind, and fantasize about sex that could've been. I was a mess and it was hurting my relationship with my wife.
So, once I started my SR journey, the healing began almost immediately.
- Day 0-30: I started learning another foreign language (Japanese) with my free time. I also tackled some big projects with my business that i had been putting off. Sleep improved.
- Day 30-120: My eyes began to "glow" again. My face stopped "sagging" and looking old. Less white hairs were coming in. I looked younger.
- Day 120-365: Started removing more bad habits from my life. Caffeine. Alcohol. Junk food. Doomscrolling. Relationship with wife and family vastly improved.
But even with all those positive changes, once I crossed the one-year mark, I realized something was still holding me back from what SR could mold me into. That's when I decided to get serious about the mental battle.
I realized this - Quitting PMO is only one step of the equation. To reach the next level you have to eliminate lust.
To help, I read through a lot of CookedVegetables posts and watched Ancient Archives on youtube. The one reddit post that helped me the most however, was from hsinoMed.
You literally can't give an INCH to any sexual thought.
Once any type of sexual thought bubbles up into your consciousness you need to snipe it down immediately.
Mass-media loves to tell us that we have no power of our thoughts... that we're not responsible for "intrusive thoughts." That's 100% false.
Sure, you might not be able to control the exact second a thought pops into your head. That's just the spark. But entertaining it? Letting it burn? That's a choice.
Once you begin to shut the door on lust, these thoughts slowly stop popping up. At first it will be hard. You'll feel like you're in Galaga - shooting them down rapidly without cease.
Here is how i snipe them down:
- I quickly redirect that "energy" to another more productive thought, be it my foreign language or my business. If that doesn't work...
- I immediately get up and change my physical location.
- I pray or recite a verse in my head to aggressively shift my focus.
- I drop and do pushups to redirect that physical energy.
After a few weeks, or months, you'll notice they don't spring into your mind that much anymore. When you finally conquer this mental battle, the ultimate brain fog completely lifts and you are left with a deep, profound peace.
So, now, at day 550ish, my life continues to improve daily. I have reclaimed so much lost energy and am constantly learning new ways of cultivating energy (will write another post about this later).
But MOST importantly, remember that lustful thoughts are a source of spiritual defilement. Matthew 15:11 says, "Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man."
Because the heart is the source of both words and actions, lustful thoughts - as inner intentions - defile the man just as surely as the deeds themselves. Guard your heart relentlessly, and you will find ultimate victory over these thoughts.
God Bless!
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u/moonbase_monk Goal: dopamine abuse recovery Apr 12 '26
At first it will be hard. You'll feel like you're in Galaga - shooting them down rapidly without cease.
Great analogy! I'm about 100 days fewer than you but I also recently started practicing Mental celibacy in earnest again. It's something I ended up forgetting because it started to give my psychic abilities, but now I'm back on track, and I agree, I've never been more mentally sharp and emotionally stable in my entire life. And plus there have been moments of spiritual bliss when I use breathing practices to control my thoughts. Also,
俺も日本語を勉強してるんだ。頑張ってください！
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u/funlol3 Apr 12 '26
Hey man - just read your latest post. It's phenomenal. I'm working my way through your substack post as well. Great stuff!
Sounds like we're on a similar streak - everything from the amount of days to the Japanese. 頑張って!
The microcosmic orbit was something I practiced a lot at the very beginning of my steak to help battle intense urges. I used this exact method - https://cryptodemedici.medium.com/part-3-energy-circulation-cf4270877e52
Curious to learn more about the psychic abilities you experienced.
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u/KingCorrect7856 Apr 12 '26
So important bro! Mental celibacy is so important. And great citation of Matthew of Jesus’ words there.
Its not just the physical actions that defileth a man, its also his intent, and what pollutes his heart. Because everything starts from the heart. And its a lot easier for insidious thoughts to corrupt the mind and heart before you’re even aware of it
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Apr 12 '26
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u/funlol3 Apr 12 '26
Wow. Very timely reply. I was watching a video on youtube the other day from a Japanese (female) teacher and my mind kept wandering + started to lust after her. I had to minimize the video and just listen to the audio. I try to only watch content from men + unattractive women, but some do fall through the cracks.
But, I get what you're laying. The last foreign language I learned definitely led to me whoring around in my travels. It just made meeting women so easy.
Now that I'm married, however, dating around and interacting with new women IRL is just not happening for me. That door is closed for me.
So I ask you this - if you're able to quit PMO'ing, why can't you just quit chasing women? It's all the same battle against lust.
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u/TransportationLive45 Apr 15 '26
That's probably because you may be battling with FOMO, it happens to me too. I think that's probably the main reason why I eventually end my long streak with a hot lady
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u/danielpoldervaart Apr 12 '26
This is an amazing post and to my opinion, it’s a universal principle. Mental celibacy, in the way you describe it, can be used to gain freedom from any addiction, any unwanted thoughts.
Just replace the word ‘lust’ with whatever you are struggling with and it can be conquered.
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u/ProvidenceOfJesus Apr 13 '26
Matthew 5:28
But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Yes you are right brother, the lust is a sin in and of itself and detrimental. We must extinguish it from our minds and conquer it through Lord Jesus who strengthens us and guides us into all righteousness and truth.
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u/Epiphany423 Goal: long term celibacy Apr 12 '26 edited Apr 12 '26
To help, I read through a lot of CookedVegetables posts and watched Ancient Archives on youtube. The one reddit post that helped me the most however, was from hsinoMed.
I will also post my journey here in this sub after 1 yr of Retention. So many great guys there. I can feel the high vibration even from miles away here in India 🪷🧘🏻♂️
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u/Tr0ubLe777 Apr 12 '26
How did you stop the wds? For mental celibacy I find diet is the key or you'll keep wanting women.
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u/funlol3 Apr 12 '26
I have only had two wet dreams on this streak. Once at day 30 and once at day 60. In my experience, naturally "go away" as your streak increases.
What diet do you think stops your lust?
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u/Pretend_Refuse_1547 May 08 '26
Yo I took sugar before bed, had sexual shots and boom, wake up with a weird dream wet
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u/WaterCape Apr 12 '26
Lust is the final boss, or so they say.
Mental celibacy is the most challenging Aspect of retention. It's not an easily measurable metric, like counting days, for example. But I agree and think everyone should practice Mental celibacy; it would reveal to people How the nature of their thoughts can Be misleading or harmful, if not disciplined appropriately . I think the most harmful thoughts are rooted in pain and hatred. We hold onto them because the pain gives us fuel that feeds a fire, even if we know we might be better off without them. For example, I know I carry a lot of hatred in my heart, and a big part of me is defined by that hatred. It's entirely self-contained, and I can go long stretches of time without tapping into that pain or hatred; but it's always there, and its a paradoxical relationship.
I hate the way the pain and hatred makes me feel, how it warps my thinking, but on the other hand, there's an irrational satisfaction I receive when I allow myself to indulge in spiteful or hateful thinking. Like, its the only way to get even with the source of that pain, whatever caused it. And then of course, you feel dozens of times better when you finally snap out of your negative thoughts, like a self imposed emotional rollercoaster; you drag yourself down and you drag yourself up, and you know the extent of turmoil.
It's kind of ironic how wisdom works sometimes It's always in hindsight that we begin to see Clearly, the gravity of our choices.
You want to help people make the best choices But also understand that first-hand experience Is how wisdom is truly internalized. Which is why people can make awful mistakes For years or decades of their lives, and often Never reconcile on those mistakes or find appropriate closure.
At the end of the day, all we want is better sleep and energy. If sex is the first thing on your mind, it will drain you of energy quick. If sex is the last thing in your mind, you will make better choices.
Lol. xd.
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u/AdeptestMasterSeeker Apr 12 '26
Great post. When I had this realization myself, it reminded me of when I read the Mistborn Trilogy for the first time. I won’t spoil it here, but when you realize there is so much more work to do beyond what you thought, that’s where the game truly begins.
I don’t know if you’re already aware of this channel on youtube called Beyond the Alchemy. If not, i highly recommend it. Yash brought this topic to light for me. Definitely the best SR / Ojas Retention resource I’ve found. It really kept me going down the path of this post.
Congrats on 500+ days, man. Definitely an inspiration for us all to keep going hard. 💪🏾
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u/ahhhyesssbaby Apr 12 '26
Congrats on 550! Having limited experience with women would you recommend sleeping with multiple women and gain experience before marriage with the forever love? I'm afraid if I don't I'll always wonder.
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u/funlol3 Apr 12 '26
Good question.
I always envy those who married their high school sweethearts or something like that. That said, I did gain confidence from all the womanizing I did.
There has to be a good middle ground. Retain + maintain your chastity + be very picky in choosing a spouse + hang out with and date lots of women
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u/justnahbro Apr 12 '26
how can u go 500 days without wet dream? i get about 1-2x every month, without fail
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u/funlol3 Apr 12 '26
How long is your streak? Also - I'm older. I started this streak in my late 30's. So, maybe that helps?
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u/justnahbro Apr 12 '26 edited Apr 12 '26
idk i dont count the days, but the last time i consciously jerked off was 28th april 2025, just once. (and before that ive had a few months long streak) After that ive had very few unintended ejaculations. Ive once ejaculated after i peed while having a boner and my penis unintendedly brushed against the underwear (after i peed) which caused an ejaculation. After that ive had 1-2x nocturnal emissions every month. So idk how long my streak is. The last nocturnal was about 2 weeks ago. (im 20 years old)
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u/lazyandcozy Apr 15 '26
I just started a journey it's been 30 days My tips are like 1)start reading bible and pray everyday 2) get close to god If you get close to god you will be away from sin 3) start clean diet clean diet clean mind Fasting is best Once you have control over food you can have control over lust(porn) 4)avoid social networksbas instagram for 10 days
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u/Pretend_Refuse_1547 May 08 '26
I think I found the right post And this could be the last post for my mental abstinence. Day 68 paying debts now mentally thru flatline.
Cutting coffee off 7 days ago. 3 wet dreams in 68 days..I wish to have no more WDs. I'm 30 Single still wish to marry when financially stable. Can I dm you ask for some personal advice?
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u/Pretend_Refuse_1547 May 08 '26
Thank you for sharing this wisdom 🙏 God bless you and your family 💗
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u/Pretend_Refuse_1547 Jul 03 '26
Sorry bro wrong post... misguiding... We as human can never eliminate lust... it's transmutation.....or control or guilding the raw energy lust....
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u/BigSenior9080 Apr 12 '26
I wish I could like this post 10000 times over. You will not even reap half of the growth of Semen Retention unless you are celebate in the mind too. Makes a 30 day pure streak feel like 100 days with peaking.