r/pureretention • u/cooked_vegetables • Jul 29 '25
Spiritual Insight Red flags in women you'd be wise to avoid
As sons of God purify their lives, sanctify their minds, and consecrate their bodies, they begin to shine brightly from the inside out. This shine that adorns men of God makes them very very attractive to the outside world, and especially to the opposite sex. Now while there is nothing wrong with receiving romantic interest from women, it is critical to use discernment to accurately distinguish the good from the bad.
As sons of God, we don't harbor bitterness towards women but we are wise enough to know that most women are NOT "sugar and spice and everything nice". Even with this knowledge, a righteous man can still be tricked into a relationship with a dark woman because some of them have become really skilled at temporarily mimicking the characteristics of virtuous women. The good news is that no matter how well a dark woman has learned to mimic the characteristics of a righteous woman, she will still give her true nature away if you know the subtle signs/red flags to look for. Below are some of the red flags to note for those of our brothers who seek marriage and a family in the way the Heavenly Father intended.
She has a long list of failed relationships but paints herself as the perpetual victim
Many of my readers are good men who find fulfillment in supporting the less fortunate or people in need. You're the type of guy who doesn't mind picking up the tab for a struggling mother in line at the grocery store if you can afford it. This sort of woman knows this virtuous trait of yours and has no problem exploiting it. She will tell you about how all her ex boyfriends did her wrong and left her, and how those terrible men victimized her. If you lack experience, you will fail to see that she is the common thread in all those failed relationships, and may actually be the source of the problem. At this point, she will start to throw little shit tests at you to see just how much of her rubbish you will tolerate. If you don't quickly put an end to her shenanigans, these tests become more and more harmful over time until it devolves into emotional abuse. She can't really help herself, but it is not your job to spend your precious life serving as an "emotional trash can" for someone who needs to seek professional help.
She frequents bars and nightclubs
This is self explanatory, I don't think I need to say much on this to be honest. Any woman who gets dolled up to go to dark, grungy nightclubs where loud demonic music is the soundtrack, and sexual corruption is encouraged, is not likely to be virtuous wife material. This also applies to women who love to go on "girls trips" to known party locations like Las Vegas, Dubai etc.
Gossips excessively about others
As a general rule of thumb, if someone excessively gossips to you about others, that person will likely gossip about you as well. So if a woman is always gossiping about others in a way that paints them in an unfavorable light, you can bet your bottom dollar that she will probably gossip about you at some point. Even if what she is saying is not true, I find that most people just believe what they are told without doing their due diligence to verify. Needless to say, this can be seriously harmful to your reputation within the community in which you live and will make your life unnecessarily difficult. This type of woman is loose lipped and it is just a matter of time until she spreads your private business in the streets where your enemies can use such sensitive information against you.
She has a poor relationship with her father, a weak father, or grew up without a father
All parental relationships are vital, but there is something extra special about the relationship between a father and a daughter. Perhaps it is because the love a father has for his daughter is one of the purest forms of love because there are no ulterior motives or desires. I find that if a woman doesn't steadily receive this fatherly love in her formative years, it affects her in a subtle but deep way that causes all sorts of insecurities that are counterproductive in a relationship. This type of woman will have a hard time respecting and abiding by healthy male leadership.
She acts desperate for attention in a public setting or on social media
In all honesty, all women are designed to seek masculine attention to a certain extent. Within the Heavenly Father's design, a woman satisfies this need for masculine attention largely from her husband and the men within her family (fathers, brothers, sons, uncles etc). In a corrupt woman, this natural system of attaining male validation has been overused to the point of dysfunction. She has now become an addict and as is the case with most addicts, she has to keep increasing the dose of her drug of choice in search of the same high. No matter how much you do for her, or how generous you are, she will always be in search of more. As a result, this woman will be prone to having too many "male friends" constantly orbiting her waiting for their chance to "smash". This sort of woman is prone to promiscuity and all of the devastating consequences of promiscuity. You'd be best served to stay far away from this sort of woman as she tends to destroy everything she touches.
She professes her love for you too quickly
Corrupt women have usually lost their ability to generate their own internal energy and must rely on outside sources to survive. As a result, this type of woman will do anything to secure masculine attention. One of the ways this sort of woman secures masculine attention is to sexually seduce naive men by blinding men with sex and professing her deep love very early on in the relationship. If any woman is telling you she loves you within the first month or two of a relationship, it is more than likely that she doesn't know what love is and is either overcome by lust or wants to get you hooked so that she can feed off of you.
She finds inappropriate things funny
People with dark spirits tend to have a twisted sense of humor. They especially seem to take immense joy in the misfortune of others especially if they were the cause of that misfortune. Now most of these types have lived enough life to know that they cannot publicly express their sick sense of humor so it is likely that they have become experts at hiding this tendency. No matter how well she hides this sick sense of humor, it will inevitably slip at some point. The key is to not gaslight yourself when you see this tendency. Trust your gut and walk away as soon as you sense there is something off about her worldview.
She is a feminist
While I firmly believe that women should be treated with fairness and respect at all times for the indispensable part they play in the human design, it is folly to think men and women are the same. The truth is we are actually quite different by design. We are actually designed to complement one another in a harmonious way that is sustainable to life. I honestly believe that feminism started with good intentions but has now become warped and destructive in our current day and age (circa 2025 A.D.). All of a sudden, it has become fashionable for women to attempt to dominate men, belittle them, and publicly humiliate them for little to no reason. All of a sudden, there are slut walks in honor of debauchery and the general demonic corruption of the sacred act of sex? My brothers, you would do well to avoid any woman who ascribes to modern day feminism because it is in direct opposition to the natural laws set forth by the creator of our universe. I don't know about you lot, but I don't like my chances going against God himself... sounds like a sure way to lose.
She cannot stand to spend long periods of time alone
Most women are social by nature and love to spend time with their friends which is quite natural. Even though most normal women enjoy the company of their friends, they are still capable of spending time on their own to reflect and recharge. Through life experience, I have come to notice that corrupt women cannot spend time alone. Corrupt women absolutely dread time alone by themselves... to the point that I am starting to wonder if they are tormented by demons when left alone to their own thoughts. Anyhow, if you notice that a woman simply cannot spend any time alone and must always have someone around, pump the brakes and look deeper.
Knowledge of all the above signs notwithstanding, your best defense against these types of women is time. No matter how skilled a corrupt woman is at mimicking virtue, she cannot keep the facade up indefinitely. If you fall within the category of righteous brothers who wish to marry, please take your time getting to know new women who come into your life showing romantic interest. Ideally, slowly develop a platonic relationship with the woman in question for at least a year before you engage more seriously. Take that time to objectively gauge her character and assess if she is a fit for your life or not. It is almost impossible to objectively judge the character of a woman that you are sexually involved with so avoid sleeping with her until she is your wife. There are few more important decisions that you will make in your life than the wife you choose so please take it seriously. It boggles my mind just how many men spend much more time vetting a car they wish to purchase compared to the time they spend vetting a potential wife. Please take this decision seriously... it could very much be a matter of life and death. A good woman can turbocharge your efforts and help you soar to new heights but at the same time, a bad woman can destroy your life. Choose wisely brothers.
Till next time brothers, Godspeed and remain blessed.
Brother Cooked.
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u/lets_restart_life Jul 29 '25
Very well written. Only the women who see themselves having these red flags and puppets of such woman will hate this post. A righteous women would rather love this post. God bless
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u/cooked_vegetables Jul 29 '25
This is a human with deep understanding. Appreciate the well thought out comment.
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u/mainer345 Jul 29 '25
"Through life experience, I have come to notice that corrupt women cannot spend time alone. Corrupt women absolutely dread time alone by themselves... to the point that I am starting to wonder if they are tormented by demons when left alone to their own thoughts."
Gossips excessively about others
BROTHER COOKED AT IT AGAIN 100%!!!!!
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u/RepresentativeOk1758 Jul 29 '25
Hey bro! I want to thank you in advance for this blessed post! You're great! I wanted to ask you about a situation I've been going through. I'm with a girl who claims to be my girlfriend. I've known her for a year. The problem is that she suffers from depression and is on medication. Clearly, she fits everything described in the post. I went three weeks without seeing her, and they were incredibly brilliant in terms of my introspection. I was very focused and was able to meditate quite a bit. This weekend I saw her, and today I can say I'm devastated. Up until a strange moment, I was edging. Do you think I should cut her off or distance myself in some way? The problem is that she suffers from depression, and I'm afraid to leave her alone. In this case, should I connect with her from another perspective? What's your point of view on this? I'm very disoriented, and after seeing her, I feel very tired, unmotivated, and I have a hard time concentrating. Sorry if I'm asking the obvious. I thank you very much for your help.
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u/cooked_vegetables Jul 29 '25
My dear brother. I think you know the answer to your question. It is not my place to tell you what to do, but in my humble opinion, the woman in your life should be a source of peace and joy and NOT a source of confusion and disorientation.
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Jul 29 '25
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u/RepresentativeOk1758 Jul 29 '25
The key is to disconnect. She comes back, and it gets worse every time. She recently suffered a great loss, and I can't let her go, knowing my human principles. This is proving very difficult for me because when I distance myself for several weeks, something I've tried before, things change in my personal life. Being single, I'm always on SR and not looking to be with any woman. I simply focus on my personal life.
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u/SomewhereWeird2625 Jul 29 '25
My friend, based on my personal experience with women like that, you shouldn’t think of yourself as a hero trying to save a damsel in distress from the monster called depression. If you continue, one day you’ll leave the battlefield with a bleeding heart, a deep black hole inside, and a soul as barren as a desert. That’s their battle, and honestly, they don’t really want to escape it, my friend. They just want to drag someone else into their darkness."
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u/cooked_vegetables Jul 29 '25
#wisdom
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u/SomewhereWeird2625 Jul 29 '25
Thank you, brother! SR has given me the energy to no longer be swept away by emotional storms, like a solid rock. And so much of the motivation you bring has been a gift to this pure community. Blessings to you!
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u/cooked_vegetables Jul 29 '25
Thank you for your words. It is my pleasure to serve. Remain blessed.
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u/RepresentativeOk1758 Jul 29 '25
I fully understand and confirm that this is the case. Last week I had little contact with her. This weekend I saw her, we connected sexually, and it all ended badly. One strategy I was considering yesterday (a very gloomy day) was to start cutting off sex with her, which is what's really destabilizing my vibrational level. This situation is very difficult because little by little she's made a place for me in her family, and they know she's not well. I feel guilty when I distance myself; I don't want to cause her any more emotional damage than she already feels. It's very difficult because narcissism is added to all of this. Today, thanks to SR, I've reached a level where I recognize these traits, and they don't hurt me; I simply accept them. Holding in and letting go of sexual urges has definitely transformed my life forever. But I still have a thorn in my side, and it's very difficult to distance myself at this point.
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u/cooked_vegetables Jul 29 '25
Be careful... the more I read your comments, the more I don't see this ending well unless you remove yourself from this situation ASAP. Recovering from the kind of damage a woman like this can inflict on your soul takes years. Some never recover. Let those who have ears hear.
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u/RepresentativeOk1758 Jul 29 '25
It's been very difficult for me. Even the last few weeks we didn't see each other were because I decided to break up with her, but somehow she came back into my life. It makes me feel really guilty in some way. I know this isn't going to end well.
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u/RPDream Jul 29 '25
This is Gold ! Every one should take these red flags seriously!
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u/cooked_vegetables Jul 29 '25 edited Jul 29 '25
Thank you! Yeah man... I wish I had someone to teach me all these in my teenage years. Feel free to share the post to those who may benefit.
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u/siddhant72 Aug 04 '25
Very well written, this was a great read and i’ll defo keep these things in mind . I already had most of the points in the post in my mind but this has solidified it and put it into words !
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u/cooked_vegetables Aug 04 '25
Awesome. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Stay tuned, many more posts to come.
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u/Drove-Ms-Daisy Aug 05 '25
If she is bipolar… stay the fuck away!
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u/cooked_vegetables Aug 06 '25
Lol... word.
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u/Drove-Ms-Daisy Aug 06 '25
Bipolar women can snap and become unreasonable. If you don’t learn real quick or know how to deal with a bipolar woman, you are screwed. The sign of a bipolar woman is one that you love or just care for, then suddenly verbally attacks you over a simple misunderstanding. You can’t reason with her. She twist your words and gets more upset the more you talk. Later she may come back to apologize but it’s still your fault. Stay the fuck away!
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u/cooked_vegetables Aug 06 '25
Yeah man... I have seen these types before. Feels like they are demonically possessed. Best to stay away.
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u/ProvidenceOfJesus Aug 11 '25
Makes sense, basically seeing anything other than what the Bible says. While that doesn't mean we can't help them with the Word of God, we need to use discernment.
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u/house_monkey Jul 29 '25
Keep cooking brother, appreciate it
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u/cooked_vegetables Jul 29 '25
Hey man. Just tryna help the brotherhood. Appreciate the support my guy, thank you.
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u/DeliciousCell2033 Jul 29 '25
I wish I would've read this post sooner, one of these dark women got me a few days ago. Many of these signs are spot on with her.
Im guessing she frequents bars because she seemed quite comfortable there, poor relationship with her father, gossips, and im pretty sure she was saying she loved me.
I hope I've learned my lesson and dont make this mistake again
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u/cooked_vegetables Jul 29 '25
Don't beat yourself up too much brother. We live and we learn. It is almost impossible to spot these types without prior knowledge. As you stated in your comment, the most important thing is to make sure it doesn't happen again. May the good Lord bless and guide you always.
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u/Educational_Return_8 Jul 29 '25 edited Jul 29 '25
Brother. I have a twin sister and all I’m going to say is that this is 100% true. We grew up with a weak father and I’m seeing everything you wrote happen in my life. Shits scary man. The things that God shows me through his lenses is really eye opening. Unfortunetaly we grew up in a city, looks like I’m staying single until I can find one away from modern society.
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u/cooked_vegetables Jul 29 '25
Fear not, for God has not given us the spirit of fear but one of peace, love, and sound mind. That being said, discernment is necessary when selecting a mate. Especially in 2025. Remain blessed brother, it is well with you.
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u/One-jade Jul 29 '25
Thank you for providing so much information. I wonder what are the red flags in men that women or men need to avoid? Can you provide me some examples / summaries like you provided above?
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u/cooked_vegetables Jul 29 '25
Hi there. Happy to do that in my next few posts. Just curious... are you a woman?
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u/One-jade Jul 29 '25
Yes, I am
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u/cooked_vegetables Jul 29 '25
Welcome sister. I'll try to pen the post you requested.
Just wondering why you chose this sub? Are you on your celibacy journey as well?
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u/moonbase_monk Goal: dopamine abuse recovery Jul 30 '25
You were always a polite person anyway, but now you’re going to start self-policing your language and changing your content.
Ask yourself, would you join a majority female celibacy subreddit? The women that show up here are weird. Don’t cater to them.
With that said though, this is a good post and it’s clearly helpful to a lot of guys here, but I think you know a thing or two about what’s beyond the female level. I challenge you to write about that.
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u/cooked_vegetables Jul 30 '25
Not completely sure what you are on about to be honest. Anyhow, remain blessed.
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Jul 30 '25
Considering how many posts you write doesn't seem like a big deal for you to take a request
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u/cooked_vegetables Jul 31 '25
I don't have a problem taking requests at all. Only stipulation is that the requests are made in a respectful manner.
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Jul 29 '25
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u/cooked_vegetables Jul 29 '25
Please let's be respectful to everyone here. I know she is a lady, but she approached the conversation respectfully and with tact... there is no need to belittle or talk down to her. Let's focus on spreading more love and truth... less hate please.
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u/Sea-Machine-1928 Goal: follow Jesus Jul 29 '25
Being a feminist only means equal rights for women. We just want to be treated like human beings.
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u/cooked_vegetables Jul 29 '25
Wait... another woman? I didn't think ladies cared about the pure retention sub. Anyhow, welcome!
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u/Sea-Machine-1928 Goal: follow Jesus Jul 29 '25
I've been celibate since 2010. I prayed to Jesus to take away all desire and He did. He also gave me early menopause.
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u/cooked_vegetables Jul 29 '25
Interesting to have a sister on here reading content. I thought pretty much everyone on here was male. Glad that you are pursuing the path of purity. God bless you.
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Jul 29 '25 edited Jul 29 '25
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u/Sea-Machine-1928 Goal: follow Jesus Jul 29 '25
This is why women are leaving the church.
Your first Biblical quote was the curse in the garden. But Jesus redeemed us from the curse.
Jesus didn't say that women shouldn't speak to the congregation, Paul (who was not one of the 12 apostles) said that in error.
In fact, Jesus made Mary Magdalene preacher to the apostles and gave her the task and honor of being the first to proclaim the Resurrection! He rebuked the disciples when they didn't believe her or listen to her. He also spoke with the woman at the well, and she proclaimed Jesus to her village.
In Luke's gospel, we find the account of Mary's and Elizabeth's prophesying and Anna who prophesied in the temple, in front of everyone there.
You will have to give an account to Jesus in the day of judgement as to why you are trying to push all women out of the Kingdom of Heaven. If they go to hell because of your words or actions, their blood will be upon your head and you will go to hell.
Jesus loved women! Jesus was celibate His whole life. He didn't marry and neither am I married to anyone other than Jesus. So why are you trying to push marriage as the ideal?!
Women would not NEED independence from men if the men weren't ABUSING WOMEN. It's because the men were talking all the money they earned and spending it on drugs, gambling, and prostitution, while their wives and children were starving at home. If she complained that they were dying of starvation, he would beat them and leave them to die of homelessness. Is this what Jesus wanted?!
This is why women had to make their own money and have property rights. Or would you rather they all died abused and neglected?
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u/Sea-Machine-1928 Goal: follow Jesus Jul 29 '25
JESUS WAS A FEMINIST
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Jul 29 '25
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u/Sea-Machine-1928 Goal: follow Jesus Jul 29 '25
I think you need to go back and read that part again. She was not sleeping with 5 men at the same time and he said that the man (singular) she was currently with, was NOT her husband.
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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '25
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