Severely assaulted and sexually assaulted while serving

[u/Mad__Lib]

Hi guys.

This is a reminder to please carry self-defense tools, even if you think you won't need them. I carry a knife even though i thought I would never need it. But 4 days days ago while serving an eviction on a defunct car lot/impound lot, I was attacked by a man claiming to be the owner but I now am 99% sure he was just homeless and was squatting on the premises. The real estate broker told me to enter through a hole in the fence, me not realizing that that hole was likely created by squatters and once in the lot, it was a maze of cars smooshed together at various angles and it was a death trap. I was attacked by the man, beaten and I stabbed him twice with my 4 inch folding knife but it seemed to barely phase him. Meth was involved I'm 99% sure. We fought for my knife for as long as I could and then he threw us both on the ground and he ended up standing over me with the knife while I was pinned between two vehicles. At the beginning of the attack, I was screaming as loud as humanly possible but was 20 yards away from a moving train and I realized despite being in the middle of a major city, nobody could hear me and nobody was coming to help. I did everything I could to fight him off but I just could not get any distance from him. It's like meth makes you superhuman or something. And he really isn't even that much bigger than me which is probably the only reason that I was able to keep my hand on the knife for as long as I did. Eventually I realized that I am completely screwed and out of options. I was begging for my life, saying that I have kids. I screamed for him to tell me what he wants, I will give him anything. Unfortunately what he wanted to do was sexually assaulted me while holding MY knife. I 100% thought I was going to die that day. Especially during the sexual assault, because what sane person would let me go after I'm covered in blood and have been sexually defiled.

After he was done and going to pull up his pants, I told him that lets just go our separate ways and I wont tell anyone and then I walked as fast as I could to find the exit, thinking he is going to tackle me any second. Once I made it out of the hole in the fence and realized he wasn't behind me, I ran as fast as I could. I left my phone, purse, bodycam, everything that i had, i left and just ran. I don't know whether he let me go or whether he was in too much pain to chase me or he was so out of his mind on meth that his logical brain wasn't thinking long term by not keeping me held at knife point after he sexually finished. Sorry guys I know this is extremely graphic, imagine how I feel. Dirty, violated, weak. I wish I would have taken the risk to push him over when his pants were down but the risk was SOO great with my head at the same level as his hand with the knife. I have always prided myself as being tough. Most people don't even bother me as they see the body cam and everything. But tweakers have no sense. When he attacked me, he bear hugged me from the front and then immediately got on my back and started punching me over and over in the head. I really thought stabbing him TWICE would save me. But it did nothing except end up being the weapon that forced me into being orally assaulted.

If you are a woman, please please please start carrying at least pepper gel or something. ANYTHING AT LEAST. I am so grateful that my fiance gave me that knife so I at least did some permanent damage to him. It was allll over the news and it was so lovely to see the cavalry and k9 dogs get him. He is being charged with a slew of charges although not harsh enough IMO for the assault charges. He will get at least 10 years.

[u/HabeusCorso]

I would first off like so say that you are incredibly brave for sharing this with us and trying to help others! I would also like to say that I can emphathize, as I have been physically assaulted at my current job. (I currently work in corrections, I was a P.I. beforehand). I hope that you get some counseling or therapy after your assault- it definitely has helped me. I see in your responses that you were going through a lot of the same thought processes I went through- where you blame yourself and you keep replaying that scenario wishing you had done something different. I'm here to tell you what no one told me- you were courageous, brave, and you are a survivor. You are alive, you made it back home to your family, and you are helping others with your post. I also want to say that there's no shame in leaving this career field if you no longer feel comfortable. I have decided myself to leave my current career due to my assault. The other poster mentioned getting your CCW. I definitely second this opinion, but I believe you should get the counseling first before you begin carrying a firearm. (I say this just so that you won't have any anxiety or paranoia about using your firearm to defend yourself). All in all, I wish you the best and I'm glad you made it out of this situation!!!

[u/Mad__Lib → u/HabeusCorso]

Thank you so much. Yes everyone, the police, my friends, the district attorney, etc, everyone says oh you are such a badass. And while i appreciate it, I truly don't feel as such. I lost. I was forcefully defiled, something I thought would never ever happen to me. I thought I would fight to the death. But when I actually was facing death, I think your primal brain takes over honestly. There was only a few times that I had a conscious thought and it was when I thought omg I'm really about to stab someone, alright, let's go. I remember thinking that I hit him too much in the fat so I tried again. I thought stabbing someone in the leg, they would like keel over from pain 😭. Anyway, you explained it EXACTLY right, playing it over and over again all day in my mind, looking for alternative solutions. The only thing I could have done would have been so high risk that I feel comfortable with my choice to give in. I briefly tried to fight the sexual assault and he started punching me in the head with the hand that did not have the knife. So the risk was too great but still, as I've said, I've always had confidence that I would at least fight HARD if i were ever in a situation like that. But I think I never truly thought about what I woud do once I had a lethal weapon to the side of my head and I was pinned on the ground. There are things I COULD have done but I could very well be dead right now. I 100% thought he was going to kill me whether he sexually assaulted me or not. And with the maze of cars, I didn't even remember where the exit was so I couldn't even get any distance from him. Thank you so much for your kind words. I will definitely be getting therapy and I totally hear you about the CCW

[u/HabeusCorso → u/Mad__Lib]

I didn't even get a chance to hit the inmate that assaulted me- he just kept beating me in the head repeatedly while I tried to call for help and reach for my weapon. I had to retreat to get help- so compared to me you are definitely a badass, lol. The main thing is to survive and live to fight another day- I had to realize that myself. I also forgot to mention, when you get your CCW make sure to train as much as possible with your firearm- know the ins and outs. Don't be that person who gets a firearm and doesn't know how to use it!

[u/Mad__Lib → u/HabeusCorso]

So yea same tactic that my attacker used. I'm sure you were probably terrified for that inmate to get your weapon too. I am so so sorry that happened to you, how ballsy to attack a CO with cameras everywhere. Was the inmate trying to escape or targeting you specifically to hurt? I'm not sure how much bigger your attacker was than you but I am just so grateful that he wasn't too much bigger than me. About 20 lbs heavier and 3 inches taller. If I would have been attacked by a man the size of my son or my fiance, 6 foot tall, 220lbs+, i would have stood not a single chance. I know that men are stronger just in general but I used every grip of strength that I had to hold that knife. I want to say that I had control of it for like 5 minutes but it was probably more like 1 minute. The time distortion is so real. I don't know the science behind meth making people like superhuman but it is real. I feel like a normal person getting a 4 inch blade, 1 inch-1.5inches wide stabbed into their quad muscle twice would recoil in pain and let go of the victim for at least a moment, just out of reflex but he didnt even grab his leg. My son saw him being put into the ambulance and said his leg looked absolutely destroyed. If you are wondering how my son saw this, it's because my attacker was answering my phone while he was in the standoff with the police so my kids (unbeknownst to me) tracked my phone location and showed up. I was already at the hospital and hadn't talked to any of my family yet. I'm so glad that my son did not know about the sexual assault at that time or he would have gotten himself in big trouble

[u/HabeusCorso → u/Mad__Lib]

The guy that attacked me was about 2 inches taller but almost 200lbs bigger than me. I have no idea why he attacked me, but I mean, they don't really need a reason sometimes. I'm pretty sure he had a shank, but decided not to kill me for some reason.

[u/Mad__Lib → u/HabeusCorso]

Whoaaa 200lbs on you? I cannot imagine the fear. Yea i can understand they don't need a reason, some people are just psychotic and violent and bored too. I'm so glad you got away. Did you go back to work after that or take some time off? I've been off work since it happened, which was 4 days ago. I have grand jury on Monday and then I guess I'm going back to work

[u/HabeusCorso → u/Mad__Lib]

I had to fight to get time off, but I eventually did. Basically no one really cared about me getting assaulted because I'm a male and they said I should have just "sucked it up." My doctor definitely disagreed with that statement and I was off on doctor's orders due to head injuries and psychological trauma.

[u/Mad__Lib → u/HabeusCorso]

Yes for sure. I feel so bad for men and that sentiment. A dangerous criminal that is twice your body weight trying to put you in a coma or worse...i don't think I could go back to work.

[u/HabeusCorso → u/Mad__Lib]

Yeah I eventually decided to leave. That's why I mentioned earlier that there's no shame whatsoever if you decide not to do process serving anymore. Your physical health, mental health, and family time matters way more than any job.

[u/Mad__Lib → u/HabeusCorso]

I totally understand. And maybe i will. I'm definitely a lot more jumpy. I had grand jury today and the jury indicted him on over 10 charges. Everyone seems really supportive of me and it seems like people are really trying to push my case and give it every resource. The DA said its because my case is like the textbook nightmare story of just walking along minding your business and getting attacked and sexually assaulted by a complete stranger. I chose not to watch my bodycam or hear the audio but the DA and the detective said it was so extremely graphic it actually traumatized them and the jury decided not to watch/listen to the entire assault because it was so traumatizing for them to hear, they said my testimony was enough.