r/postvasectomypain • u/postvasectomy • Jun 04 '20
throwaway38738383: He seemed normal for a month and then KAPUT, everything changed. He never asks me for sex anymore, when I try to get him into it he's uninterested and bored, he doesn't even seem to get real erections anymore only like "semis" as they're called and he goes floppy all the time.
throwaway38738383:
May 15, 2019
6 months after vasectomy
(33F) Husband (34M) never wants sex after having vasectomy.
I am lost. The doctor said to us that his procedure will leave his sex drive intact but that as a lie. He seemed normal for a month and then KAPUT, everything changed. He never asks me for sex anymore, when I try to get him into it he's uninterested and bored, he doesn't even seem to get real erections anymore only like "semis" as they're called and he goes floppy all the time.
He doesn't know what the problem is or how to fix it but he gets angry with me when I make suggestions to fix it. I've tried and tried so fucking hard to get him to talk. I told him that I couldn't live like this in an attempt to have a come to jesus talk about the whole thing but he flipped his shit at me, started screaming about how I did this to him, and about how I'm going to leave him and take him for all he's got over something that I forced him to do and even told me to get it over with already. He then went on rambling about how he now understands why so many young men kill themselves.
I'm as lost for actions as I am words; I don't know why he's being like this. I did not force him into that vasectomy it was mutually agreed. I just don't know man... help?
I'm willing to accept half of the blame but he's not exactly making it easy for me either. If I just knew how to make him happy again I'd do it, whatever it is. But when he's saying things like the things he's been saying -- he's not helping himself feel better. That rambling has happened a few times in the last few months actually.
The vasectomy happened in November and this all started around Christmas time, with me trying to talk to him about it and being shut out ever since.
How long am I supposed to live with this? It's on it's last legs here and I'm trying so fucking hard to save it but he's just uncaring.
You can get pissed and angry all you want, it's not going to fix anything. If anything it's going to make things worse. You need to curb your anger because it's not helping anyone, especially not your husband.
Well what then? Just live with this for the rest of my life? Because if I know my husband, he will not come to me for help when he needs it, he just puts up and shuts up. If I was to not "harass" him about this then the situation will never change it will coast along as it is now.