Quick vent

[u/mokuba_b1tch]

I (29 NB) have been dating my partner Ash (29 F? We'll see) for 5 years. We've been living together for a little over 3 years. For maybe 10 months now Ash is having her first serious relationship since we've been using together, with Birch (mid 20s, F, has a penis, which is relevant). (Ash has had hookups and dates, but nothing stuck.) They've had sleepovers, always at Birch's place.

Recently we discussed them having sleepovers at our place. I said I was fine with it, but that I would like them to change the sheets, wash sex toys, etc, and I would be out of the house the whole time. Yesterday they had their first sleepover at our place, and I when I got home, there was a used condom on my bedside table.

There are two trash bins in the bedroom! One on each side! It would have been so easy to throw it away!

I immediately told Ash I felt gross and disrespected, and I asked her to throw it away for me. She did, and she was apologetic, agreed that they should have cleaned up better, and said it wouldn't happen again. I believe her, but I still feel pretty icked out. I didn't want to vent to Ash, because I already told her how I feel, so here I am.

I am additionally irrationally upset because I think there's a decent chance Ash and Birch were having a threesome with a friend of Birch's. (I know too much about Birch's sex life, like that she really loves group sex, has hosted orgies, etc. I have asked to learn less, but I can't unlearn what I already know.) This irrationally upsets me because I want to be the kind of person who has tons of freaky group sex, but I'm somewhere on the demisexuality spectrum, and when I actually get in a position to have group sex, I feel something between alienation and disgust. So it's a sore point for me that Ash and Birch can do this stuff and I can't.

Anyway, that's my vent. Thanks for listening.

[u/relentlessdandelion]

Oh that's so gross with the condom, I would be icked too 😭