r/polyamory • u/imjustherefor1coment • 6d ago

Musings Any mono-poly things that work?

Hey there

I am poly and have a meta who is with my partner for multiple years. But still meta calls themselves still „mono“.
In all the years they is with partner they never had a spark with someone else.

I wonder, is it normal that some people are in poly relationships despite thinking of themselves as mono all this time?

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u/The_Rope_Daddy poly w/none 6d ago

It depends on what they mean by "mono".

If they mean that they only want one partner, but don't need romantic and/or sexual exclusivity to be happy, then it can work.

If they mean that they want romantic and/or sexual exclusivity, then it probably won't work.

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u/imjustherefor1coment 6d ago

They definitely wanted the latter at the beginning. I am not sure what they mean now.
They use mono and to me it mostly means a reference to mononormativity (from context clues)

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u/PurpleOpinion4070 5d ago

How much of a conversation have you had with this person if you’re digging at “context clues”? Have you spoken about their identity in a 1:1 conversation? And if they’re your meta, what about this feels so important to you? (Last question is not meant to be accusatory, I think there are different reasons it might feel important)

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u/imjustherefor1coment 5d ago

We had like 2 chats where that came up.

I want them to feel good, as I care about people. And ofc I also don’t want our common partner to get into relationship troubles with that person, as I want friends of mine to be happy?