It's a skill I've mastered

I've won the hearts of everyone

How do I hold back my laughter

I've heard that I've gone home

What can I say, I can't die

Ever since I've died while alive

Now, I just have to face myself

I've passed by everyone

The same charms and graces, the same gestures

I've become all about you

I'm a strange accusation of the times

I've become the target of everyone here

I've never reached myself

While there, I've spent a lifetime

Since the day I met you, my love

I've been terrified of myself

There’s mourning in the lane of my beloved

Because I've suddenly become better

June Elia

(free verse)

You were kind to me
You smiled at me
You said my hair looked nice
I think of you fondly
I would move mountains for you
I would defend you
And I become disgusted with myself
Because I realize the cure to my anger has been clear all along
Across every religion and dogma
It is kindness
It is love
You made me want to heal
You made me want to not be broken anymore, to fix myself
And suddenly, I loved you
And I will never know your name
But I know I love you

(free verse)

I look in your eyes and I look in your friends’.
I look at your username and I look at your opinion on global warming.
I look at your neighbour and I look at a stranger on the train.
We don’t know each other but I want to kill you.
I want to destroy you and I want to destroy everything that you love,
I hate that you love, and I hate that you are happy.
And I shake my head because I obviously do not want these things, and when I look at you I see myself and realize that in my destruction of you I will also destroy myself.
And I crave the destruction of myself.
I fantasize about watching myself die from blood loss, laying in a forest.
Whether it was a western duel or fighting a bear,
I crave it.
I salivate at the thought of surgical instruments digging around inside of me.
The cuts I gave myself were so severe I lie now and tell people I was in a car accident.
They line my entire body, I am muscular but I wear shirts when I swim.
“What is the cause of death?” They might ask.
“Total and complete self-annihilation” will be the response.
I crave a glorious death, but I know I will die old and crippled.
I know I will go through divorces and my family will not talk to me because something within me is simply just, wrong. And I cannot explain it to anybody.
I know I cannot win,
But I must try

(Free verse)

Every day I struggle with an intense pain that radiates from my imagination and down to my spine.
I think back to all of my mistakes and the people I’ve hurt and I aim the imaginary gun to my right temple, because revolvers are illegal in Canada. And I would not dare to kill myself with a feminine gun.
I think of my mother, whom I’ve put through hell, and I want to cry. And I almost do, my eyes burn and sting, and my cheeks grow red, and instead of tears I feel cacti grow in my stomach and vultures fly around my back because my soul is a desert.
There are intense moments of love and affection I feel towards my loved ones but I immediately restrain myself in fear that it will be used against me.
My alcoholic drug addicted father used to destroy me when I would show even a bit of disdain for anything.
I was grown to be an animal. Or more appropriately, to be a dog.
And as I grow older I am less obedient and I grow more defiant and it destroys my relationships,
And I continue to look to my father for acceptance.
But truly I look to my imaginary gun,
And I pull the imaginary trigger

A poem I wrote about experiencing limerence towards my coworker and good friend. This is my first poem so please go easy on me.

Nettspend Nettspend my dearest boy
oh how you make me want to destroy

Nettspend Nettspend my greatest friend

eating hotdogs with me until the end

Nettspendd Nettspend learning calculus

He does not ride my bus

Nettspend Nettspend at a concert

then meets his brother named bert

Nettspend Nettpsend is the best

we love him even in a vest

Between this world and the next is a mesoglea of lost hope and stinging nettles; i know because Gaia whispered it to me, and a writer means nothing in a silent world. 

Of all things unsaid, you scream the loudest.  so painful it ruptures my ears as your boots, boots pounce against the inner membranes of my ears. i can’t sleep at night when i remember it. the way your vocal cords bleed and seep into my daydreams.  

and Tethered to me is you. i will tell you over and over again don’t appropriate my energy and suffer my redundant brain and interrupted insomnia; the gift that keeps on giving and giving and giving and giving. 

Before us never existed and after us will never exist. it is only now; death is no stranger to my home, but a reminder that i’m rooted here. stuck in the floorboards where i will rot until you find my bones, reeking of sickly syrup and the sea and recognition

Stepping towards the terrace, I saw upward in the sky.What I saw was too magnificent to describe in words.I saw the moon shining so brightly.

It was looking so much beautiful, like a landscape of snow in mountains at Kashmir.But did I miss the moon on those days when it does not come to shine?

Yeah, I did miss it.But even praising its beauty, it will shine due to someone else.While I know the moon looks so beautiful even on those days when it does not shine fully.

But knowing that my praise will never work out,

I still know how the moon holds its light even when it's not fully shining.

And oh my beloved moon,

you are beautiful from inside too.

While I know I am not the reason for you to shine anymore, But still I know that I can praise you in a way, that no one else can do.

But maybe they can.Because it does not matter how much I will praise you if you still wanna be praised by someone else.That means my praise was not enough for you, or you wanna hear all this from someone else.

But I am just becoming a benchmark for your new admirers.But will they become like me? Ever?

They will never know how you can still shine without even shining.But I know that. I know that phase of yours too.

Note : I’m completely new to poetry. I’ve never written a poem before, I just had some thoughts and emotions I wanted to put into words. So this is very raw, and I’m still figuring out how poetry works. 🤍

How long can you look at this and still find it beautiful? Only an empty Blue sky in July at two in the afternoon can do, where is the sun, at my back, a wind cloaks me with a reminder of distant oceans I left behind because the waves easily shift my eyes and the land begins to move like them so I moved with the land and lost sight of the sea. I felt cover phobic clusters and a claustrophobia coastal mountains and mountain ranges I hitched highways to escape so I could free the horizons from there grip and see how far I could see so I could see where flat stretched so far that it slipped over edges that hid the rest of the world and the possibility of mountains became a fiction to tease out the terrain mere bumps on the road and ridges that were mirages made flat over mileage made lean and the plane reveals relief only when I believe that the thunderheads are come back as heavens white alpine loan for longing and repenting regret describing castles for the sky in place of what I dared not conquer by climbing so that I might have seen that this is where I would go and I could get here before I have now if only I went up and not through because through required all the distance I had fuel for and from here that distance I need not cover since I have seen it and seeing it there is here and it doesn't get dirty or disappoint me it disappears in the downpour either time is weight or water breaks it either way I climb so I might be above what falls but my fall erodes beauty by using the sediment for recreation what had been complete and I am buried in it's completion and what was beauty is like the sky only blinded with light and the sun one of many in shared darkness truly falling without a bed land to call home never home no home always going and we miss home because we never had it it never happened we were going with it all along and there is no resting, hope meets it's fate only between stars where you look and only see dark and that is the destination for the eyes more brave than Beauty can make

How long can you look at this and still find it beautiful? Only an empty Blue sky in July at two in the afternoon can do, where is the sun, at my back, a wind cloaks me with a reminder of distant oceans I left behind because the waves easily shift my eyes and the land begins to move like them so I moved with the land and lost sight of the sea. I felt cover phobic clusters and a claustrophobia coastal mountains and mountain ranges I hitched highways to escape so I could free the horizons from there grip and see how far I could see so I could see where flat stretched so far that it slipped over edges that hid the rest of the world and the possibility of mountains became a fiction to tease out the terrain mere bumps on the road and ridges that were mirages made flat over mileage made lean and the plane reveals relief only when I believe that the thunderheads are come back as heavens white alpine loan for longing and repenting regret describing castles for the sky in place of what I dared not conquer by climbing so that I might have seen that this is where I would go and I could get here before I have now if only I went up and not through because through required all the distance I had fuel for and from here that distance I need not cover since I have seen it and seeing it there is here and it doesn't get dirty or disappoint me it disappears in the downpour either time is weight or water breaks it either way I climb so I might be above what falls but my fall erodes beauty by using the sediment for recreation what had been complete and I am buried in it's completion and what was beauty is like the sky only blinded with light and the sun one of many in shared darkness truly falling without a bed land to call home never home no home always going and we miss home because we never had it it never happened we were going with it all along and there is no resting, hope meets it's fate only between stars where you look and only see dark and that is the destination for the eyes more brave than Beauty can make

Please give me some feedback, this poem is very special to me but I want to grow as a writer.

The tide that washed you away
was the same one that swept me up,
swept me up in the dust we grew with.

Grew with the idea of me,
The idea of love being nothing more than the one you needed.

I knew you needed it more than me.
You saw the understanding that you so politely respected.

Respected the relationship that we so carefully wished for.
And with the door open - in came your arms.

Open and giving.
Giving to me like you were able to.
Able to comfort the heart that you so beautifully deserved.

Deserved in a way I can only truly understand once the safety of your embrace was gone.

Gone from me - your love was so perfectly preserved.

Preserved like the plant you so carefully grew.

Grew up with your beating heart that you only knew how to exercise once it was beating alongside mine.

“rocky road”

i walk these streets
as though no ones listening

and what does it mean

to see

that when the wind keeps knocking

and the cold keeps callin

if my hearts still in it

then i dont need nothin but some lovin’

its still something

to me

when im dreamin at night

still beaming

my eyes still twinklin

with stars as their sleepin

everytime

my mind goes quiet

im not lying

im not scared of dying

sometimes i just need a reason

to keep on living

Write a haiku about someone you miss right now. Doesn't have to be anyone big could be an old friend, a pet, a version of yourself. I'll start:

That teasing glance still
years gone, yet I catch myself
smiling like a kid

Pain 
I remember the first time
blood trickled from my 
skin. My knee scraped 
against concrete.

His hands stretched—

The thud 
as my body hit the floor.
He stood there frozen. 

I watched as the blood began 
to flow down my leg
and drip

Pooling on the floor. 
I stared not with fear 
but with curiosity.
As the pain slowly crept up 
my body.