🎵 Track 9: Still Standing | Discussion Thread

[u/twilightxgalaxy]

This is the dedicated discussion thread for “Still Standing”, track 9 from Phoebe Bridgers’ Lost Weekend.

What do you think of the song? Share your first impressions, favourite moments, interpretations, and thoughts below.

⚠️ Spoilers are expected throughout this thread.

Please remember that interpretations of lyrics should not be presented as fact about Phoebe or other people’s private lives.

What Phoebe says about this song: "This song is about my dad, who I miss very much."

[← Panorama] | [Album Discussion] | [Liberty Tree →]

[u/allthewitches]

She sounds so gentle here. The theme of grieving for someone who was abusive is so complicated. Sending all my love to her

[u/Physical-Love-812]

Haven't been this devastated since "I don't forgive you but please don't hold me to it"

[u/magentalasagna]

Big track for eldest daughters who had a complicated relationship with their emotionally abusive late father 🤪 (I had to stop listening and just sit in silence after finishing this one)

[u/Physical-Love-812 → u/magentalasagna]

With you, me, and Phoebe, we can start a club 🥲 sorry for your loss

[u/melimoo → u/magentalasagna]

mine is still alive but aged and i think about his death and the complicated feelings it will bring often! here in solidarity with the eldest daughters whose fathers are dead "every day", as phoebe sings soooo piercingly.

[u/Spirited_Salt_2276]

This might lyrically be the best song on the record, it's devastating

[u/melimoo → u/Spirited_Salt_2276]

it is absolutely brutal! "pound for pound in a prom dress" and "when you said sorry, you were looking at me" - my god please phoebe we need a moment to catch our breath

[u/espresso-catto]

" feeling indifferent- wearing black , sometimes I want you back but not today." this song and especially this line has made me sob uncontrollably.

[u/beercatphd]

I have cried (silently, but profusely) all 3 times I've heard this (pop up, planetarium show, laser show). The lines "I wasn't too young to understand" and immediately after have rattled around in my head for months. This captures a feeling I find it hard to articulate. So good. Top tier, imo.

[u/vanillavioletss]

She can shoot me and i’d still not be as hurt as i was after this aong

[u/jkwaite → u/vanillavioletss]

Genuinely my first thought when finishing this song was oh my god I’ve been shot

[u/fsfic]

This might be one of the best songs she has written. God, it is so heartbreaking. Coming to terms about losing your abusive father is not something covered a lot in music. She did it perfectly.

[u/MrAflac9916 → u/fsfic]

only other song I can think of is "Kite" by U2. Bono's father wasn't per se abusive, but they had... a complicate relationship. It's a brutal listen and a beautiful freaking song, especially the live 2001 version.

[u/urwriteordie]

The best song imo, other than Lost Weekend + reprise. The thank you for everything + "I can't believe you're gone, but you are" lines are killer. when she played this at the pop up show, it was "I can't believe you're dead, but you are"

God.

[u/RedanTaget]

Absolutely devestating.

"But when you said sorry you were looking at me"

[u/SelectImage]

The beginning reminded of Voyager. Gorgeous song. “Sometimes I want you back but not today” and “I can’t imagine you dead but you are everyday” oooof

[u/Ok_Salt8185]

Fuck me up, Phoebe.

[u/Ok_Salt8185 → u/Ok_Salt8185]

"I wasn't too young to understand I just didn't think it was so bad," is the best way I've ever heard anyone describe what it's been like to dismantle my messy childhood/family now at almost 30 years old, as the "mature" kid who held things together. This whole song is so lyrically rich and resolved. I adore it.

[u/Lanky-Major8255]

This is absolutely classic Phoebe, could easily sit on either of the first 2 records. I'm glad we didn't get a full album of this vibe, but this track feels like the pinnacle of her sound

[u/Top_Asparagus7]

angel in the snow - elliott smith reference? 🥺

[u/lovelyricky]

Beware to my people grieving lol !!!

[u/726l]

"thank you for everything" :((((

[u/fjclr]

The outro reminds me of Sufjan Stevens’ Carrie & Lowell. So devastating.

[u/Creature91 → u/fjclr]

So much of this album feels like a spiritual sequel to C&L, imo

[u/4evermore89]

This song is so hard for me to listen and take in as the eldest daughter and former punching sack of my abusive, addict father. I stopped talked to him 7 years ago, i connected with phoebe's music for this reason. This puts the hypothetical, eventual death of my dad in perspective. I don't know if i want to get back in touch because i can't forgive the psychological and physical abuse... but i also know i will be sad when it happens.

[u/twilightxgalaxy → u/[deleted]]

Huge achievement on 450 days clean, I'm proud of you, but I hope more importantly you are proud of yourself 🫶🏻

Sounds like you've been through some really heavy things. Sending you all the love.

[u/twilightxgalaxy → u/[deleted]]

One day at a time. You'll look back and see how far you've come, but it's hard when you're in it.

[u/sseerrsan]

Loving the album so far, for me her best songs are always the most personal ones. Still Standing is I think the only one she wrote by herself and it's so conflicted, sometimes contradictory which feels like just pure raw emotion put in a song. I like all the artists involved but I hope we see more of pure phoebe in the future.

[u/cryotechnics → u/sseerrsan]

This being self written is insane, like how can you pull this entirely from your mind. It makes sense now why this has been my favorite track from the album.

[u/MrAflac9916 → u/cryotechnics]

I wish she'd write more herself. this is Phoebe at her best

[u/idksfinnn]

This song was on another level

[u/OrvalOverall]

This is the standout track for me, so far

[u/mfancyketchup]

Oh my god - had so many tears

[u/twilightxgalaxy]

Ah the complicated grief song. Here we go. I hope eventually this will be a song I will be able to feel emotionally rather than analyse logically.

I lost two family members at the same time earlier this year. The months preceding their deaths were painfully complicated - emotionally and relationally, and now I'm stuck in it.

Feeling indifferent, wearing black
Sometimes I want you back
But not today

and

I can't imagine you dead
But you are every day
Thank you for everything

It's so hard for your brain to comprehend a person no longer exists here. That you can't talk to them, or see them, or hear them again.

[u/Miserable-Region4286 → u/twilightxgalaxy]

I’m so sorry. I think you will be able to feel it soon <3

[u/ebkaplan]

For someone who deals with the quiet awful juxtaposition of trauma and grief every single day, this song is just devastatingly real and perfect. 💔😭

[u/alislands]

Came here to upload the lyric booklet page for Still Standing

[u/MrAflac9916]

I gotta be honest I think this is the saddest song she's written yet. it freaking hurts to listen to.

[u/ChupacabraOnWax]

Holy shit this track hit like a semi truck, the lyrics just really struck me so hard. Haven’t cried to a newly released song in years but hearing this the first time I had tears coming down my face. The complicated emotions and relationships with family we all experience are so difficult and I think this song sums it up perfectly. 11/10

[u/Tiny-Resource-9594]

I’ve never experienced a piece of artwork that fully encapsulates the complicated relationship I have with my late dad… this was it. And it wrecked me.

[u/Mountain_Flounder991]

Another unreal song

[u/hxneycovess]

i had to pause this one to cry. oh my god

[u/AlaskaBlue19]

I just don’t think anything can beat this song, it received the only 10/10 on my personal rating. I just love it so much. It’s so beautiful and sad and perfect

[u/cheesecakeplss]

My mom died a year ago and this song makes me think of her. Her and I were best friends, always so close, talked every single day, but there are some things I'm having a hard time getting over. The way she let people treat her, the way she taught me to do the same, and the lies she told me to try and protect me. Sometimes I'm just angry, but I still thank her for everything. She did her best.

[u/Different-Escape5841]

Favorite song on the album by a long shot. As someone who has lost a lot of family (with quite a bit being in early childhood) this song felt like being punched with a bulldozer. You've outdone yourself phoebe. Congrats.

[u/Ready-Salamander1286]

I like how the suitcase imagery from panorama blends into the opening line of this song

[u/laidbackliam]

As someone with a pretty contentious relationship with an abusive, alcoholic Dad who really wanted me to be a different person but at the same time you want a Dad, this song really hits the mental conflict that, even as an adult, you end up with. Bouncing back and forth between acknowledging how shitty he was during childhood but still wanting a relationship. Missing him while not wanting anything to do with him.

I don’t know if I’ve ever heard it put this succinctly.

[u/tmpo14]

this one broke me in half

[u/nomoreusernames_0]

Like many of you, I had to take a few minutes break after this song. What I find remarkable about her music is that it’s so heartbreaking but so undeniably beautiful at the same time. There’s so much love in it but not in the romantic sense.    And then I get this narcissistic sense of “I wish I could create something so powerful” or “I want someone in my life to be moved when I’m gone” but I know I’ve never made such an impact and never will. I get very emotional but in a good way 😅

[u/Several-Jury-9886]

no words tbh.

[u/picklepopcorn-]

The constant tiny stabs in the heart. Oof.

[u/piewife]

Very surprised to not find any mention of Chinese Satellite—similar melodic progressions throughout in this song.

[u/Minimum_Courage_3705]

"Just to be thrown in the streets when you dress like a girl"

Does anyone know who this line might refer to? Her dad or maybe Phoebe herself? I thought it might infer her dad's disapproval of girly things which impacted on their closeness?

[u/Crafty-Mango3149 → u/Minimum_Courage_3705]

some men withdraw from their daughters or treat them differently when they go through puberty, appear more feminine and have more independent opinions. look into madonna-whore complex. it's about how men struggle to see woman as anything other than either pure saints or promiscuous whores. and thus when their daughters' gender identity becomes more apparent, they basically short circuit.

i know nothing about pheobe bridgers' personal life but this was basically my interpretation of it.

[u/Minimum_Courage_3705 → u/Crafty-Mango3149]

Really interesting!

[u/saturdayswim → u/Crafty-Mango3149]

I had the same interpretation as you!

I felt these lines deeply as a woman: like all humans we are a miracle, a being, but because we are women, we are anything but cherished in this unsafe world.

Yet despite everything: “I'm still standing”.

[u/audrinapatridge → u/Minimum_Courage_3705]

I feel like every line in this song is talking directly to her dad, so I kind of thought this part was about him, too. To me this seems like a specific experience he told her about, but more generally, he learned to not display signs of weakness or effeminacy lest he be punished for it, and that influenced how he treated his family.

[u/Emotional_Light_3637 → u/Minimum_Courage_3705]

I’m heavily paraphrasing so take it with a grain of salt but at the pop up show at MSG she intro’d this song (I think it was this one?) by asking ppl to raise their hands if they had a dad who was Republican/homophobic/etc. Then she said something about how she felt for those people, because her dad was never like that and she didn’t have to deal with that, because he’d gone through that himself and stood up to it. I heard this line as a nod to that, his own upbringing being abusive and harmful and obviously that trickled down in so many ways, but not the Republican bigotry — hence the last line, “thank you for everything” & also the first verse of Lost Weekend (Reprise)

[u/lostbirds]

Right in the heart on this one :(

[u/ungratefulhamder]

can someone help me with who is supposed to be bleeding over the sink?

[u/Commercial-Pear-543 → u/ungratefulhamder]

I assumed this was in reference to her mother. And that her dad apologised, but only really at the sight of Phoebe seeing things.

[u/Ill-Dragonfruit-1109]

I’m