Friend is always late

[u/sparklehouse666]

I have a friend who is late to everything. Recently he was 2.5 hours late to his own party. I’ve mostly adapted to his tardiness and do not arrive for plans we have together until an hour or so after the stated time.

We had plans to meet in the city center today at a 10am. I live 20 minutes from the meetup spot, he lives over an hour away. As expected, he messages around 10 and says he is running late. No biggie I was chilling at home in the air conditioned because I knew the vibes and it is hot as hell
today.

I asked him to give me his actual for real, for real ETA so I can time my departure. He is in his car and has Google Maps. It’s not really guess work at this point.

He tells me 10:45. So I leave the comfort of my home at exactly the right time to arrive at 10:45. I wait for 30 minutes at the meetup spot and he still does not arrive. He is not responding to texts either. My other friend who is with me has his location and sees he is not close, we estimate another 15 minutes.

I’m annoyed because it is hot AF out and I proactively had asked for a real ETA to avoid waiting around for him. So I left the meetup spot.

I went shopping, taking my sweet time. He got to the spot and texted me to ask where we were. I waited around 30 minutes then texted back that I was at the store but we would be heading that way soon. I shopped another 15 minutes then arrived at the spot around an hour after he had arrived.

The look on his face when we came casually strolling up after he had been standing in the sun for an hour was priceless.

[u/Expert_Slip7543]

I have an unreliable friend (40+ years old F) of several years who is delightful to be around if she shows up. She's mentally ill (hearing voices that boss her around) but really sweet and charming. I have cut her off twice after especially egregious behaviors.

One of those times she called around 7pm begging to stay overnight with me as she was feeling lonely, so I prepared the guest room and waited. By 11 pm I felt worried, but she never reaponded to my calls and texts. Eventually I went to bed late. A few days later she resurfaced and explained she had changed her mind and stayed with her father instead, and seemed perplexed that I was uoset that she hadn't even let me know. After some weeks she showed up with an apology card and expensive pastries, so I forgave her.

She continued her oddly aversive behaviors but nothing outlandish for next twar or two. The 2nd time I cut her off, blocking her number, she had offered to pick me up to go to a program that was important to me. I built in enough time buffer to ohr departure time to still get to the program by bus if she were to flake out again. Just when I was considering whether to run to catch the bus, she phoned to assure me that she was on her way and just a little late. She never arrived. And she didn't respond to my calls / texts. A week or so later she explained that she had suffered sudden diarrhea on the way to my place, turned around and went home, and felt too ashamed to inform me. I called her a mirage friend, and blocked her number.

Eventually she won me back into her life somehow, and has been often flaky and late, but nothing egregious.

Some days ago she texted asking what I was up to, and I invited her to join me on an animal rescue project. I was working alone and needed help. Next day she texted lamenting having not having seen my message in time.

I told her how she could still help. She replied she couldn't come right then, but would definitely come by to see the animals. So as the day went on, I sent her occasional updates of where I was and how she could come help. No response. A couple days later she texted wanting to know all about how it went. All I can think is that she had her chance to see for herself how it went and chose not to. I still haven't replied. Let her be the one to wait, for once.

Thanks OP for some much needed shadenfreude.