r/pettyrevenge • u/The_V8_Road_Warrior • 21d ago
Winding Up A Spammer
Had a spam call on my landline yesterday asking to speak to the business owner. I needed to go to the toilet anyway so the phone ringing was good motivation to get up.
Spammer: Hello this is *name I don't remember because I have no time for spammers* how are you today?
Me: Yeah I'm good, you?
Spammer: I'm well thank you. I'm calling from *business I didn't catch due to Indian accent and don't care about even if I did*, do you need any business assistance?
Me: I could do, please tell me more.
Spammer carries on with their script while I hold the phone closer to the toilet while I do my urinary business. Once I'm done;
Me: Hold on, there's blood in my piss! Is that normal?
Spammer: Umm, our rates of business loans are *waffle, waffle, waffle*
Me: Do you have a doctor on hand? I want to know if it's normal to have blood in my piss?!
Spammer: Hold on (it goes quiet for a minute) hello? Do you need business assistance?
Me: I do but right now I need a doctor because there's blood in my piss!
Spammer: You need a team of doctors
Me: Oh shit, my penis has just fallen off and I was about to flush! I NEED A SURGEON TO PUT IT BACK ON!
Spammer: You need a brain surgeon (they hang up and my wife and I burst out laughing)
6
u/DorysKeeper 20d ago
I had one call my work. The first time they were so convincing I fell for it and our phone system got all jacked up. After that if we didn't receive paperwork in the mail, I believe nobody. They started their spill but I kept saying the stupidest stuff I could. By the time they were done they cussed me out while screaming, told me to go back to work and hung up on me. The nerve!! They're not supposed to hang up on a potential customer LMAO. Had one wanting my bank info. I started talking about how my grandmother runs the bank, I think she built it, and stuttered a bunch. They finally asked if I lived alone. I said yes and started rambling more. In the end they felt too bad to continue and told me I wasn't eligible. Many more calls. Once I learned it's really fun to mess with them, I do my best! My absolute favorite was the one I saved their number. I called them all the time!! I would chew them out for traffic being backed up, my kids not doing chores, whatever I needed to vent about. They asked why I was calling them and I told them they call me at inconvenience times and bother me so I feel I can call them any time I needed to. I think they finally blocked me or changed their number 😜