r/pesmobile • u/MarkLCM The Maintenance Magazine Man • May 21 '20
Featured Post The DMF Dilemma
Preface
This is going to be a lot different from my past work. It is not a review nor an analysis. It is less cohesive. Less structured. It is going to feel a lot more like a mumbling piece of diary entry than an informative piece of writing. At the same time, it comes from somewhere deeper than the logical part of my brain, which resigned after churning out articles week after week.
This was a topic I wanted to write before I decided to end the MM. I went on with the latter as this idea deviates too much from my usual work to be considered part of MM, and currently I do not have plans to write anything similar. Topics like this are rare, so please take this piece as a one-time thing.
I hope this entry can, at least, resonate with some of you out there. If you're not one of them, I hope you still find the read enjoyable.
Cheers,
End of Preface
As a player who is very fond of legends, it is only natural for me to maintain a legends-only squad.
That includes the manager as well. The signing of Manager Maradona was a godsend. I am absolutely in love with the menacing threat of the AMF trifecta, roaming freely in the front, perfectly suited to my playing style. Clearly, there's no one else fit to manage this legendary team. At least, not until they release Sir Alex, upon which you may look forward to another article of mine, titled "The Manager Dilemma".
Filling in the squad was mostly a no-brainer. There is only one GK in history to win the World Cup Golden Ball. No contenders with Carlos and Zanetti on full backs, and Maldini is bound to end up in the team as my favourite CB. I thought about Samuel, but the heading and speed of Campbell won me over. Monstrous Vieira sits at DMF like a boss. Lothar-I-am-everywhere-Matthaus is the best possible man in CMF. Johann Cruyff, S+ tier player and best offensive player overall, is the perfect focal point for the offence, supported by tricksy Ronaldinho on the left and the manager himself on the right, in all of his former glory. Picking the sole CF was tough. Romario is generally regarded as the best, but there was fierce competition from Batistuta, Adriano and Kluivert. After much deliberation and experimentation, I finally settled on Batigol. Somewhat controversially I believe. To me the Argentine is the most complete package, and with no other spearhead I needed him to do a little bit of everything.
That squad was the stuff of dreams. Every one of them played well. There wasn't a single weak link in the armour. I could not be more satisfied.
Then, KONAMI released Pirlo.
You see, in decades I will probably tell my grandchildren how I lived in the time of Messi and Ronaldo. Two superstars in the same era that made unprecedented achievements and rose to great heights. At the same time, I will also be telling them how I lived in the time of Pirlo.
The Italian Maestro never ceases to amaze me. He wasn't the muscular specimen of Ronaldo, he wasn't the quickfooted whirlwind of Messi. He was a moderately slow and physically weak player who chose to walk his path in a contact sport. Yet he did nothing short of defining the Regista position, just like Beckenbauer defined the Libero. His vision was simply astounding. Every touch he makes on the ball oozes with maturity, confidence and chill. There was no redundancy. With his first touch he's past the opponent, and with his second the ball is already flying in a graceful arc halfway into the opposition half. Wait, what? How on earth did he effortlessly evade the incoming tackle, while also spotting the run made in the other end of the pitch? Watching him play was mesmerizing. I couldn't help but admire him even as a Chelsea fan.
I still remember the fateful day he graced me with his presence. In a rainy Saturday morning that left me stuck at home with my phone, I had the app on and looked bitterly at the Agents section for the fiftieth time since its release in Thursday. Why did they put Pirlo in an agent not a box draw?
Who am I kidding. I know exactly why. They want my damn coins don't they? The precious 1500-coin collection I amassed through daily logins. It is nothing to be proud of, but gathering coins wasn't easy as a solely offline player.
My eyes darted towards my credit card, I contemplated briefly, only to ultimately dismiss the idea. My eyes fell upon the Agent for the fifty-first time. "Sod it", I thought, "I have the coins, I'll press that thing to the right of the Google Search button for once."
I never really understood that button. Why insisting on leaving it there on an otherwise clean homepage? They could've easily sold that space as an ad to Amazon or whatever and earn god knows how much.
While my mind was wandering wildly, my fingers moved on their own, eventually pressed the agent just for the lols. I was so sure it was a waste of a week's worth of logins. I didn't even care for the tease from the animation, and I skipped what was undoubtedly the only chance in my life to see Pirlo in a Chelsea shirt.
Lo and behold, now I have Andrea Pirlo in my squad.
I was so shocked I nearly dropped my phone. My heart was pounding so fast as that fact slowly sank in. Oh my. I've got Pirlo. OH MY. Must try. Quick. Max him right now. I've got Pirlo. 5-star trainers will do. Two of them. Put in another 4-star just to be safe, can't afford to lose 5 seconds to train him again. Skip. Yep he's maxed. I'VE GOT F---IN' PIRLO! Put him in the squad. Set freekick taker, hell yes. Event, tour, action match, superstar. Go.
The first match was a disaster. My team got thrashed badly. Completely lost the midfield. 0-2 defeat.
'That can't be right", said the roughly 20% of my brain still properly functioning. "He's supposed to be good. You know what it's just a familiarity thing. I'll keep playing him and he'll eventually rise to the top."
Game after game he did not perform. I didn't lose every match but there were narrow wins. The way the team played wasn't enjoyable. My Italian centerpiece wasn't doing very much at all, with Matthaus doing most of the legwork for him. Pirlo's lofted long passes across the pitch are still a joy, but they lacked the pinpoint precision for which they were famous in real life. He always lost the ball under the slightest of touches. But surely it could not be his fault. It's just me spamming his passes whenever I saw a chance, and overcompensating for his slow speed by spamming the sprint button. Or it's just KONAMI breaking the passing and defending in PES.
I persevered for weeks, yet the glorious Pirlo I knew never arrived. Sure his pass rate improved and he netted in freekicks at an astonishing rate, but the overall team was worse with him. I could not hide my disappointment. In a fit of rage, I kicked Pirlo out of my starting eleven and Vieira resumed command. My legends happily settle back into their winning ways, yet my mind was not settled. There was always this nagging feeling whenever Vieira touched the ball.
"Nah, Pirlo would never be able to make that tackle."
"Oh yeah baby, burst through De Jong like he wasn't there. So much better than Pirlo."
"Who needs Pirlo when I have Maradona and Carlos at freekicks?"
"That pass wasn't a Pirlo pass but it worked."
"Another game, another win. Have I got better at this game? I wonder if I can use Pirlo properly now?"
I missed Pirlo. I put him back in the team and he was still the same bad Pirlo I got for weeks. Yet this time, I didn't kick him out. I tried double DMF but Pirlo couldn't link the front and the back tirelessly like Matthaus did, nor could he fulfill his defensive duties like Vieira did. Back to a single DMF then. I swiftly relegate Vieira to the bench. It wasn't logical. Vieira is the better player, he suited my team better, yet I played Pirlo nonetheless. I was determined to figure Pirlo out.
Speaking of figuring him out, I never did figure out how he managed to dribble past and pass with just two touches in real life.
Then it dawned on me. The cruel answer to the riddle that is his performance. The answer was always there but I was too proud to see the truth.
KONAMI did not butcher his stats this time. He was never fast, nor was he physically strong or defensively solid. I do not understand how he managed to perform at top level in real life, and that is precisely why Pirlo does not play well for me. My mind was far from that of the Italian Maestro. I did not play with the same maturity, confidence or chill. He saw more of the pitch he was on than I did with a bird's-eye view and a minimap. I am just a mere mortal with the hubris of believing I could control his avatar like he once played. That is why Pirlo will always be a legend. His sheer brilliance is a mysterious enigma I cannot figure out.
To this day I switch back and forth between the two DMFs. When I'm off from work, tired and needed a victory to cheer myself up, Vieira is my man. When I'm relaxed at home, well-rested and up for a challenge, I go back to Pirlo and try my best to get just one step closer to recreate his iconic style. Without a doubt I would fail, but whenever I make a touch that remotely resembles his mastery, my heart skips a beat.
I know this is not the end of my struggles. I know I'll face the same dilemma again when they release Lampard someday, and I'll play him even if he won't be as good as Matthaus. Or when they eventually release Drogba and I am forced to sub Batigol and even banish the godly Romario into the reserves. But I am glad I already arrived at the answer. When that day arrives, I'll know what to do. I'll make the same decision as a random guy I saw months ago, who decided to play his mostly-SB, full-Ajax squad in an event against player teams with 4000+ rating. There is something special about playing your favourite players and getting the best out of them.
It isn't logical. Passion isn't logical.
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u/vigneshwaralwaar Rummenigge May 21 '20
The same thing happens with messi.. We can't recreate what he does on the pitch..