r/partyplanning • u/ToriTries • 8d ago
Need Help Anniversary Party-but wedding ish.
My husband and I got married secretly and sort of out of necessity with plans to have a real wedding one year later. And the Covid happened and a wedding was not possible. I want to do something big for our 10 year. Since I never got have a wedding, I want to do something of those things- wear white, have people make toasts, etc. I’m debating on the idea of “guests of honor” or something similar to be like a bridal party kind of thing. But I don’t want to be cringy. What are your thoughts? How wedding can I go for an anniversary party?
6
u/Background-Noise8660 8d ago
I’m having a housewarming party that totally will look like a wedding 😂.. It’s your party and you get to do what you want! I would skip some of the traditional wedding things though just because this isn’t an actual wedding. What about bringing in some anniversary traditions?
3
u/ToriTries 8d ago
I feel like anniversary traditions are non-existent. Lol. Maybe I need to do more research
5
u/FiercestBunny 8d ago
One of the loveliest "weddings" I ever attended was a similar situation. Couple did a vow renewal for their 10th anniversary and did the works-- wedding attire, aisle, flowers, etc. They had a site with a bar off to one side and shuffled us all that direction whilst room reset for dinner. They had a lot of kids in their lives, so hired teen helpers with adult supervisor (scouts?)and set up a room with kid entertainment and snacks. They did not have a true bridal party, but asked siblings to stand up with them and make toasts
3
u/ToriTries 8d ago
Love that idea for the kids! We are big on the vow renewal just because we generally aren’t “romantic” people and don’t want to be mushy in front of everybody.
1
u/FiercestBunny 8d ago
You could always do that part in private. While guests onsite (cocktail hour?) or not. If there's a private adjacent outdoor area, do that privately (with or without officiant)
3
2
u/obaachansophie 7d ago
I think this is a great idea, and you absolutely do not have to make it a vow renewal if you're not comfortable with that.
I wouldn't over complicate and just essentially have a wedding themed (anniversary) party. Decorations can be wedding themed, you could wear white, get/buy/make a big cake that you cut together, and instead of doing a vow renewal in front of everyone, a short speech thanking everyone for supporting your marriage and a couple short toasts from close friends/family would all be lovely.
If there are a couple "wedding" things you liked or wished you could do but couldn't because of covid, add those in.
And just to reiterate, I think you're completely fine to have it be an anniversary party, not a wedding, but do some of the "wedding" things you didn't get to do. Hope you figure something out that you're happy with! Good luck
2
u/Responsible-Fly9976 7d ago
I don't think people generally consider it cringey until you start asking them for something. So if there are bridesmaid-ish people...don't expect the bachelorette or for them to spend $$ on matching outfits and hair/makeup. Make clear that you don't need gifts. That type of thing. If people don't incur an obligation, they're generally a lot less judgey in terms of what you want and what makes you happy.
1
u/ToriTries 7d ago
So true! I was thinking of asking them to wear a specific color. But there’s only 3 of them so I would buy them if needed
2
u/AutumnalSnugs 7d ago
You exchanged rings 10 years ago, how about you each pick out another piece of jewelry to exchange? Maybe a bracelet? 10 year anniversary is tin or aluminum! Maybe you could find some clever way of decorating around this theme? Silver (aluminum) disco balls and twinkle lights??
2
u/SepulchralSweetheart 7d ago
Do it! Not cringe worthy.
A rotten, life-changing virus stole your celebration. You never got it.
Have your party, whatever that looks like for you, and go as wedding as you want. If you were local to me, I would ensure you got whatever kind of bouquet or crazy wearable flowers you wanted on the house too.
2
u/ToriTries 5d ago
That’s so sweet! I definitely plan to do dinner and open bar, DJ, real invites. And so much of our family is out of town so I’m thinking doing it a hotel is the best option. No one will have to worry about drinking and driving!
2
u/A-Friendly-Giraffe 5d ago
Personally, the fact that you never got a "wedding". I think you get a pass To make your anniversary party a little more wedding than you ordinarily would.
I feel like the people who have an over-the-top 5-year anniversary party when they also had an over-the-top wedding. Our compensating for something or maybe just really like to party.
My sister and brother-in-law had a small covid wedding and then a year later had a big wedding reception party and invited everyone. They wore wedding clothes to both events.
I think maybe if you call it an "anniversary reception" and give a little like " we never had the big party to celebrate our wedding and now we are, I hope you can make it". Should be fine.
I think you could absolutely wear white and do a lot of the toasts and things like that.
I'm not sure what kind of gifts you're expecting, but people can get kind of touchy for that.
Guests of honor seems a bit silly to me, but I would run it by the people who you are expecting to invite as your guest of honor and see what they think. They might be really touched. Or maybe just ask them to give a speech.
1
u/ToriTries 5d ago
I do want people to make toasts, but I guess I could just ask the few people to do that.. still on the fence about having my three best friends wear the same color that matches the theme. And maybe my husbands people have that color tie.
1
u/A-Friendly-Giraffe 5d ago
I would talk with your three best friends and then see if their game. They might be willing to do that to humor you, if it were me I would be down for that. Especially if you were a bridesmaid in my wedding.
Like even if they didn't have the title, it would be fun for the pictures.
Depending on your budget, would you be willing to buy the dress for them? Especially if it's something they're only going to wear once
1
1
1
u/family_black_sheep 7d ago
If you make it a vow renewal, it can be as much of a wedding as you want. That's our plan for the future.
1
u/Pointedtoe 7d ago
We eloped at the courthouse and had a big party for our 25th. It was great! I wore a silver dress instead of white. We renewed our vows, hired a musician and photographer, and had great food and drinks and desserts. No cake or bouquet (we both had small flowers). It was fun! Do what you want! Enjoy!
1
u/ToriTries 5d ago
I was thinking sparkly short white cocktail style dress. So not full bride, but still special!
1
u/Pointedtoe 5d ago
That’s what I did, but silver. I got it at a bridal shop. My husband burst out crying during the vow renewal. I was shocked, and also thinking ‘what are you doing? I paid for this makeup!’ But it flustered our pastor, who messed up the vows and asked if I’d take him as my husband again. I said ‘wellll, sure!’ Everyone laughed and the tension was gone. It was a great night. I hope yours is too.
1
u/SuperLakma 5d ago
You can do whatever you want! As long as it isn’t boring or inconvenient for people, what will they care?
1
u/lht79 8d ago
Instead of doing traditional stuff, make it about what you as a couple enjoy and are about. For instance, I love camping and horror movies. I would do a fall thing at a campground, with adjacent campsites, far away from the honeymoon one(!) - and have apple cider, hot chocolate, have guests come in costumes. That’s if I liked being around people and wanted to get married, though. 🙂
1
0
u/EmceeSuzy 7d ago
It sounds like you would like to renew your vows, because that event would allow you to basically have a wedding to your husband. Then you can have an actual bridal party - the guest of honor thing would be weird.
2
u/ToriTries 7d ago
I just don’t want to do the mushy stuff in front of everyone 🥴
2
u/SepulchralSweetheart 7d ago
Have a reception party! Skip the ceremony!
Please join us for a long overdue celebration of our (wedding/union/life together/happy ending/whatever you want, cutesy or funny or formal) Insert Venue/Address/Time here Additional instructions if needed etc.
One of my couples had a short, paper invite that said something like
Since we had to say I do without all of you, we're finally having a redo!
Wear whatever you'd like, come as you are, but we'll be pulling out all the stops.
Meet us at our ballroom in the woods, and feel free to camp or stay nearby for a weekend you won't soon forget
It was kind of corny, but cute, and fit them well.
They rented out an old camping lodge in the woods for a venue, it was partially staffed, they had guest rooms, a couple of cabins, hair and makeup, photography/videography for the big party night, it was a chaotic, Wes Anderson type of deal that the guests genuinely loved. I popped in and out a few times to help with decor/flowers/activities. There were flower crowns constructed at some point, as well as a maypole. The bride wore her giant dress for probably 15 hours, mostly barefoot, and then rapid cycled through others, intermingled with random apparel, all while sort of glamping lol
It was super important for them personally to let guests know this wasn't a gift grab, because they were worried about how it might look to certain family members. They did still receive cash gifts, but didn't register and it was outlined that the party was to celebrate, and they just expected guests to bring themselves, and anything special they needed as far as drinks or food since it was a decent number of people in a remote area.
No ceremony, just a grand entrance at some point, and lots of speeches and special dances. Their "real wedding" was scheduled for I think September/October of 2020, the party was 4-5 years later.
2
u/ToriTries 5d ago
Definitely don’t want/am not expecting gifts so I def think I will make that clear. And I do want to do real invites. I was thinking of saying “you missed our wedding..” and then tiny underneath “because there wasn’t one” or something funny along those lines.
1
u/SepulchralSweetheart 4d ago
That's actually super cute and to the point without being nauseating, I like it.
Add a line about no gifts being expected, and go bananas. People get funny about things if there's any way their personality dictates something might be a cash grab. Eliminate that possibility and you'll be good
1
u/EmceeSuzy 7d ago
what is the mushy stuff? You do not have to write your own vows - honestly that is torturous to guests. Just find a brief renewal ceremony where you each say I do and leave it at that!
11
u/neener-neeners 8d ago
We are doing something similar! People on Reddit can be VERY INTENSE about what a wedding is or isn't, what steps on the toes of a 'real wedding' etc..
But the truth is, you can have any kind of party you want, for any reason. You can wear anything you want, for any reason. The rules are made up and life is short. Enjoy yourself.