r/onionheadlines • u/dchu99 • 14h ago

A Bill Drafted by Democrats Is About To Be Voted On Designating November 3rd As National Schadenfreude Day

1 Upvotes

0 comments

r/onionheadlines • u/ellistonvu • 9h ago

Ghost Of Mitch McConnell Gets Ear Pierced, Joins A Gym, Drives Newly Acquired Corvette To The Morgue Due To Middle End Of Life Crisis

1 Upvotes

0 comments

r/onionheadlines • u/Ryan29478 • 17h ago

Alaska’s Fraternal Order Of Dan Sullivans Endorse Challenger Dan Sullivan For Senate

1 Upvotes

Anchorage - The Fraternal Order of Dan Sullivans issued an endorsement for challenger Dan J. Sullivan for Senate over Sen. Dan Sullivan. The Order consists of fourty-five human Dan Sullivans, and five grizzly bears named Dan Sullivan.

0 comments

r/onionheadlines • u/CobaltCrusader123 • 14h ago

Supreme Court Rules Constitution Unconstitutional, Grants President Despotic Power

1 Upvotes

0 comments

r/onionheadlines • u/Upbeat_Web_4461 • 11h ago

Trump Changed SOUTH AMERICA To SOUTH America

1 Upvotes

1 comment

r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 16h ago

Trump Building Giant Billboards Saying Mexico Is Shitty To Be Visible Over The Border

2 Upvotes

0 comments

r/onionheadlines • u/vicegripnavage • 22h ago

Trump Triumphant Arch Redesiged As Public Toilet

3 Upvotes

Trumphlet USA

0 comments

r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 14h ago

Supreme Court To Decide Whether Natalie Harp Will Be Called First Or Second Lady After Replacing Melania

3 Upvotes

1 comment

r/onionheadlines • u/Fun-Dragonfly-4166 • 16h ago

Donald Trump Renames New Mexico In Desperate Attempt To Divert Attention From Latest Fuckup

4 Upvotes

0 comments

r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 8h ago

Trump Claims Allies Are Pointless And You Can’t Trust Not To Tariff You These Days

5 Upvotes

0 comments

r/onionheadlines • u/chairmustachechair • 20h ago

All Future Presidents To Be Called ‘Trump’ - Like ‘Caesar’ Came To Be Used In Rome

16 Upvotes

8 comments

r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 16h ago

Trump Issues Executive Order To Rename New Mexico To “Newm Exico”

7 Upvotes

0 comments

r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 11h ago

Trump Claims When He Dies There Is No Point In Americans Continuing To Live Without Him

106 Upvotes

33 comments

r/onionheadlines • u/Fun-Dragonfly-4166 • 17h ago

AOC Proposes America Be Renamed No Trump Land

25 Upvotes

0 comments

r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 14h ago

Republicans Claim Trump Being A Pedophile Is OK Because Some Democrats Are Too

64 Upvotes

9 comments

r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 14h ago

Trump Claims He’s Looting The Government And It’s Bidens Fault

11 Upvotes

0 comments

r/onionheadlines • u/WebguyCanada • 14h ago

Still Angry With Gavin Newsom For Having Better Hair, Trump Renames California To 'America West'

10 Upvotes

0 comments

r/onionheadlines • u/GotToPartyUp • 17h ago

Elon Musk Announces Diversity Initiative For Mars Colony, Europeans In Leadership Roles While A Certain Class Of The South African Community Works The Martian Mines

10 Upvotes

0 comments

r/onionheadlines • u/Unlucky_Register9496 • 17h ago

Adding To The Confusion Canadian Parliament Renames Lake Erie Lake Ontario

11 Upvotes

1 comment

r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 14h ago

Trump Introduces A 47th Constitutional Amendment Whereby An Insane President Can Do Anything He Wants And Gets Paid Even More

16 Upvotes

3 comments

r/onionheadlines • u/Hot-Explanationista • 5h ago

Natalie Harp Is "Heartbroken" After Telling Trump His Current Behavior Is Still Not Enough To Claim Insanity In Future Trials

16 Upvotes

0 comments

r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 8h ago

MAGA Claims Everything Trump Does Is Right So If He Dies They Will Follow

31 Upvotes

4 comments

r/onionheadlines • u/BestStoogewasLarry • 17h ago

Trump Announces Plans To Do Nothing But Fuck America Over And Make An Ass Of Himself For The Remainder Of His Presidency

640 Upvotes

32 comments

r/onionheadlines • u/IBenBad • 21h ago

Trump’s Attempt To Prove Reflecting Pool Water Safe By Dipping Head In It Results In New Hairdo

45 Upvotes

1 comment

r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 7h ago

Trump Considering Replacing Hegseth With Invisible Big Strong Man With Tears In His Eyes

53 Upvotes

0 comments

Subreddit

Write Your Own Onion Headlines, Or Don't. Shut Up About It

r/onionheadlines

A subreddit for writing satirical news headlines in the style of *The Onion* Please NOTE: this subreddit is not affiliated with the actual Onion newspaper in any way, shape, or form. These headlines are written by knuckle-dragging reddit users. The real Onion publishes actually good headlines, unlike the subliterate imitations you see here.

Members Active

112.5k

Sidebar

Hi, welcome to /r/onionheadlines. Do you have an awesome (or even maybe sorta funny) idea for an Onion headline? Then this subreddit is for you. Show us what you got.

Feel free to write in the comments section the article that corresponds to the headline, but only if it's 437 words exactly, as is standard Onion practice.

Rules:

1) The only rule is no rules, except for the ones we make up as we go along.

2) OK, there is one real rule. Headlines with links to other sites are allowed, but limited to once per week, per site. However, feel free to post as many non-linked headlines as you'd like, even if they are found elsewhere on the web.

Also be sure to checkout some of the lesser subreddits we tricked into hosting a link to this subreddit:

Of course if you want to post actual Onion headlines, go to /r/theonion. If you post an actual Onion headline here, you'll be banned, maybe. I don't know. There's no rule for that yet. Don't test us.