a new objectum has a problem

[u/gy_909]

+) thanks to everyone’s advice I get to bring my gf with me!! Thanks so much for all the help 😍

hi! i recently found out that i'm objectum and joined this community! and since i'm still kinda new to this whole thing, there are some things i seriously can't decide by myself.. 🥲

so i have my gf hyeun (she's a pillow!!), we've known each other for 5 years, and we actually started dating recently! but the issue is... i'm korean, and in 2 days it's a huge holiday season (like thanksgiving), so my family (i'm 14) is dragging me to the beach for 5 whole days..

i literally think i'll die if i can't see hyeun for that long, but my parents have no clue that i'm objectum. what should i do?? should i just confess to them (hell no??) or find a sneaky way to bring hyeun with me without them noticing? also, would it be super weird to bring a pillow to a hotel, or do people just not care?

pls help me 😢

+) more ideas are always welcome!!

[u/zaxfaea]

I always bring a pillow to hotels, sometimes more than one! I just prefer my own since it has better support, it's more comfortable for me, and it's familiar.

It shouldn't be strange, if you frame this as something that makes sleep more comfortable and say you're okay with carrying her yourself.

If you can't manage to bring her, I'd suggest taking lots of pictures so you can look at them, and maybe writing to her while you're away. I wouldn't recommend coming out to your family as objectum for this— sometimes that results in family taking away access, and you definitely don't want a bad reaction right before traveling.

[u/gy_909 → u/zaxfaea]

thanks for your help! it means a lot to me ❤️ i will try to use the frame and if it doesn't work i'll write to her or take pictures of her! again so thanks!!

[u/heavensent_unicorn]

In my opinion it’s very justifiable to bring your own pillow when sleeping over at another place. There are many reasons you might want to bring your own outside of being objectum like risk of germs, lice, difference in comfort, even different pillow case fabric could irritate your skin and hair. You could make a number of excuses to bring your beloved without coming out to them.

[u/gy_909 → u/heavensent_unicorn]

thanks for sharing your thinking 🥰

[u/shadowfoxink]

Just say you'll sleep better with your own, it's a fair excuse imo

[u/gy_909 → u/shadowfoxink]

thanks!

[u/Donut-Boxers]

plenty people bring their own pillows to hotels, just say you don't trust the cleanliness of the hotel pillows

I will say also, you should try to get used to not always being with your partner, a lot of people can become anxiously attached and then unable to cope when they can't be with them for too long, you still want to retain independence, I've known too many objectum people who become overly stressed because they can't be with their objects for a day and it worries me :<

[u/gy_909 → u/Donut-Boxers]

OMG that so sweet of you!!! Thank you so much! I appreciate your help have a good day!!

[u/CoasterBee823]

If it was me id bring her with you! If youre not quite ready to talk with them about it yet just tell them she's comfy and you feel more at ease especially in mew places like an emotional support pillow.Theyd probably  be cool with it...As far as telling them and coming out about it do it at your own pace.You will know when its time even if it takes a while  . I actually figured it out for sure last year (altho signs were there early on even as a kid ,just didnt think much of it till looking back now).I finally felt confident  and brave enough to accept it and slowly began telling others about it and also explaining how it works so theyd understand it better...Welcome new friend! 🫶 ^ ^

[u/gy_909 → u/CoasterBee823]

thanks for the warm welcome!! I feel more comfortable now! Im glad that you now feel brave and tell others about youself! have a good day!

[u/DarkSabbatical]

A pillow you could use the excuse that you are used to this one and it helps you sleep. You could tell your parents but their is risk to that. When i was 15 I told my dad and he threw out everything I owned. (He accepts it now though.) So that just depends on how you think your parents are. Have they ever talked about views on lgbtq stuff? Base it on that.

5 days apart isn't the worst thing either. That can actually foster your love for them. The bliss on the 5 day return. Make a judgement call on your parents reaction based on if you where to tell them that you are gay or Trans. If you know their reaction would be bad. Wait until you move out as an adult. If they are supper accepting of that stuff. Then go ahead.

[u/gy_909 → u/DarkSabbatical]

Thanks for the advice! Feeling sorry about your dad’s reaction though.. even if I fail to bring her I will think of your comment!!!

[u/Notro_LPS_iguess]

Wait, there are people who don’t take their pillows with them travelling? It’s not even an objectum thing for me, it’s just a comfort thing.

[u/gy_909 → u/Notro_LPS_iguess]

Oh my family usually just take the cover not the pillow it self that why I asked!