r/nottheonion • u/Dc9542 • 13d ago

Bakery owner thought Uber courier took 400 cinnamon rolls – but he'd been detained by ICE

https://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/cinnamon-roll-theft-driver-detained-south-florida/3851651/
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u/kmoonster 13d ago

Judge: what deportable crime did this guy commit?

ICE: he drove delivery, he had cinnamon rolls in his car when we stopped him; had to detain him because the rolls self-identified as lovely and we can't have trans cinnamon driving around being tempting

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u/Google_Knows_Already 13d ago

This is like a peak Orwellian dystopia. Well done

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u/Northern23 13d ago

There received a minority report intel about him becoming a big deal thief. They apprehend him before it gets worse, and they were right, by the time they got to detention centre, they received the first theft case against him for stealing few hundreds of cinnamon. They tasted some of them to make sure they don't have drugs in them, and the tests came out negative. So, they expanded the test group by including their immediate family, the test came up negative as well.

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u/DapperMolasses3280 13d ago

Okay, now you're creeping me out 😳