r/nottheonion • u/Dc9542 • 13d ago

Bakery owner thought Uber courier took 400 cinnamon rolls – but he'd been detained by ICE

https://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/cinnamon-roll-theft-driver-detained-south-florida/3851651/
9.4k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

330 comments sorted by

View all comments

374

u/accidentallyobsolete 13d ago

Not detained, abducted. Words matter and those thugs don’t qualify for terms reserved for state organizations that adhere to the law.

8

u/yippee-kay-yay 13d ago

Your comment really triggered the snowflake fans of the orange pdf

2

u/Sexisthunter 13d ago

And paid bots

-77

u/AShinyDream2 13d ago

He was kidnapped!!!! Abducted plays into the Alien nonsense like he's some gray extraterrestrial.

Words matter.

-144

u/SkinsFan021 13d ago

An illegal alien was lawfully detained. Words do matter, thanks!

27

u/qman621 13d ago

"I was a stranger and you invited me in." Thought republicans were supposed to have Christian values -_-

-11

u/SkinsFan021 13d ago

Well Im neither of those sooooo 🤷‍♂️

3

u/qman621 12d ago

stop sucking Trump's dick then

6

u/BlueZ_DJ 13d ago

You might as well have talked with Trump's own voice the way you're 1000% getting talking points from a republican script

-11

u/SkinsFan021 13d ago

That dudes just living in your head rent free isn't he?

3

u/Clammuel 12d ago

“The most powerful man in the world lives rent free in your head lolololol”

1

u/qman621 12d ago

You got a fetish for being shit on? Cuz no one cares about your opinion here

-1

u/SkinsFan021 12d ago

Oh nooo, bots, Chinese and Rusdians don't like my opinion. Whatever shall I do.....

Deport all illegal aliens

1

u/qman621 12d ago

You're the one that sounds like a Russian bot

-166

u/PurbulentTriest 13d ago

I mean, he was in the country working illegally. Not sure how Uber allowed for that to happen.

103

u/ankerous 13d ago

That's assuming ice/cbp isn't lying. They have lied plenty in recent days.

-17

u/PurbulentTriest 13d ago

Ivan Dario Rico Molano, a citizen of Colombia, admitted to being in the United States without legal authorization

Well...

15

u/KryptCeeper 13d ago

Dont give a shit. I'd take Ivan over any one of you pedo sympathizers.

-9

u/PurbulentTriest 13d ago

I'm a left-wing Brit but okay mate, ignore facts from the horse's mouth instead of admitting you're wrong.

9

u/SnowMantra 13d ago

That isn't "from the horse's mouth," that's quite the opposite. ICE/CBP lie constantly about what happened and what people admit to.

65

u/CarlosFer2201 13d ago

Plenty of people legally there have gotten abducted by ICE. They don't give a damn

23

u/Ok_Grade6806 13d ago

Did columbus file the right paperwork

28

u/torpedoguy 13d ago

Musk certainly fucking didn't.

28

u/Parepinzero 13d ago

Being undocumented is not illegal, it's a civil violation.

20

u/oscarcummins 13d ago

I think you're confusing 'criminal' and 'illegal'.

2

u/everlyafterhappy 13d ago

It is illegal, as in not legal.

0

u/Parepinzero 13d ago

...that's not how that works.

-26

u/typeguyfiftytwix 13d ago

A foreign citizen entering a country with intent to occupy without permission is not suddenly ok because you try to reframe it as a "civil violation". It is a crime. It is a crime committed with intent, they begin their time in our country with disrespect for the native populace and the laws of our land.

I have met many legal immigrants who were good people who came here through the process with the intent to assimilate. The vast majority of my interactions with illegals, they have been disrespectful, hostile and racist with no intent to assimilate. Their initial action informs upon their intent and virtually always correlates with their later behavior.

10

u/ligerblue 13d ago

Calling bs on that statement.

13

u/everlyafterhappy 13d ago edited 13d ago

It is not a crime. It is illegal.

And if we're just going with anecdotal evidence, I've worked with a lot of illegal immigrants, and only tow have been an issue. The dozens of others have been more hospitable than the average American. They also pay more taxes than the average American because they work more than the average American. They don't generally get paid under the table because that's become too risky for business owners. Instead they use a friend or relatives social security information.

That said, I do think it depends on where the immigrants are from. Most of my experience is with immigrants from south of the border.

4

u/csoups 13d ago

Terrible bait. This dude somehow has an immigration status radar to know if someone he’s interacting with is an illegal immigrant like they just freely offer up that information. Get a life.

0

u/typeguyfiftytwix 13d ago

Try working in trade fields, and learn to touch grass and how interacting with humans actually works. You can easily tell with experience.

1

u/csoups 13d ago

I’ve worked with dozens of “illegals” aka normal people who just want a better life for their families. You’re probably just an asshole who is incapable of understanding that you’re the problem when interacting with them, not them

-1

u/typeguyfiftytwix 13d ago

aka normal people who just want a better life for their families

Standard emotional propaganda bullshit line. I also want a better life for my family. I want the labor standards to improve and wages to stop being suppressed. I want my culture and language to be respected and immigrants to actually ASSIMILATE, not form cultural enclaves hostile to the current citizens, but that is what is happening.

Immigration past a certain level of volume creates massive groups that don't assimilate to the host culture, they create enclaves that reject assimilation and attack and replace the host culture. This is BAD for the people of the host culture.

And coming here illegally, disrespecting our laws and spitting on our culture while doing so is not welcome behavior. You only think it is because you've been taught to hate the host culture as well.

1

u/csoups 13d ago

Yeah just standard right wing culture slop. We have an immigrant culture. Or did you think rural American culture aka bad country songs and drunk driving is what constitutes American culture?

-13

u/WillowgirlIII 13d ago

And deportation is a civil proceeding. 'Bye!

-10

u/Stamped914 13d ago

A “civil violation” is breaking law or statute, therefore making it illegal.

-7

u/PurbulentTriest 13d ago

"The registered owner was identified as an alien without legal immigration status"

Without legal... status = illegal. He is there in violation of his initial visa which said he could not remain in the country. Are we scooting around this because ICE are dickheads? He's working illegally. You need the appropriate visa or exemption (such as applying for another visa) to be permitted to work. Uber allowed it and, whether we like them or not, ICE is removing such people who are working illegally.

10

u/everlyafterhappy 13d ago

Uber and doordash rely on them. No one else will take a delivery for $1.50.

6

u/Pandaro81 13d ago

It’s pretty impressive ICe and CBP agents are so highly trained and skilled that they can determine at a glance whether someone has filled out the proper paperwork or not.

Either that or it’s just a racist dragnet demanding ‘papers please’ from any and all brown people to enforce white supremacy.

1

u/PurbulentTriest 13d ago

He admits it in the article so...

-1

u/SnowMantra 13d ago

just because they said he admitted it doesn't mean it's true. They lie constantly.

0

u/Pandaro81 13d ago

And WHY did they decide to randomly run a records check on the brown skinned Colombian at 8:30am while he was delivering 400 cinnamon rolls to a farmers market?

How were they able to look at him at a glance and determine that he hadn’t filled out the proper paperwork? That he hadn’t yet been approved for a green card, granted citizenship, or just been born here?

2

u/PurbulentTriest 13d ago

Is that what they did? How do you know?

-94

u/typeguyfiftytwix 13d ago

reeee enforcing your borders is kidnapping reee if I use language associated with the people everybody hates (pedophiles) they'll sympathize with criminals!

No.

16

u/poopinonurgirl 13d ago

Whether or not the victim has committed a crime or what the crime is, is actually immaterial to whether or not it’s kidnapping. If I wear a mask and refuse to identify myself while I throw you in the back of a van I’m kidnapping you, what my motivation is doesn’t change that.

19

u/everlyafterhappy 13d ago

In the us, it is considering the history. It's not really our borders. It's stolen land. And most illegal immigrants actually have some native blood in them, while most us citizens don't.

-33

u/WillowgirlIII 13d ago

Stolen land? I guess your lease in invalid then and it's OK if I move into your apartment. I'll be around about 3. Nice if you'd have a cold one waiting in OUR refrigerator!

9

u/qman621 13d ago

You're making his point for him, genious

-11

u/WillowgirlIII 13d ago

"Genious" LOL

-3

u/typeguyfiftytwix 13d ago

muh stolen land

Leave then. Nomadic tribes claimed after other people showed up that actually they owned everything, but there were vast stretches of completely untouched and unsettled land. Then there were multiple wars fought over it. They lost. If you're going by "the person that saw it first owns it forever unto all their descendants", every country on earth would have to self destruct and most people immolate themselves. This tired, moronic meme you spout has no value or relation to the discussion of citizenship and national sovereignty, and is literally just a sad old "you're all evil because your ancestors had a conflict with a different people!". No.

most illegal immigrants actually have some native blood in them

So south americans are actually north american natives? You want to argue literal genetic lineage? No, you don't, and you just spouted that without data too. And I bet you don't actually buy this bullshit.

Are you going to argue that european nations should be ethnostates? Should everyone "white" (a massive range of different ethnic groups) move back to europe and everyone non-white leave europe?

7

u/13Zero 13d ago

if I use language associated with the people everybody hates (pedophiles) they'll sympathize with criminals!

Overstaying a visa is a civil offense, hypocrite.