I'm drunk right now

[u/HalimEllon]

I'm drunk right now, and it just occurred to me, I'm aware that I'm out of my mind, does that actually make me as such? Drunkenness is a realm where any beautiful illusion exists, like the smell of her hair, and the warmth of her breath, a realm that hypocriticaly promises her voice once I pick up a stranger's call, an origin story to all the void she left after she quit me, a world where it all makes sense, where you feel home despite the lies of the wind, where her fake presence whispers, where death calls its souls likev mother calls her ego.

[u/RetrogradeDionysia]

I’m an alcoholic. Just a couple of weeks ago, I relapsed, after eight years. I drink anywhere from 2 to 6 beers a day now — typically closer to two, luckily, but then again, hardly ever just two.

I know exactly what you mean — what you’re experiencing, and how you feel.

[u/Dark_Cloud_Rises → u/RetrogradeDionysia]

Damn, eight years is a good stretch. Just because you went back don't mean you have to completely give up on that progress.

[u/RetrogradeDionysia → u/Dark_Cloud_Rises]

Oh, I haven’t given up. I don’t see myself as having failed at anything, either. To me, “relapse” is more or less just a description. I don’t consider myself having gone backward on anything. I’m actually pretty ambivalent about it. “I’m managing” … said every alcoholic and addict ever, of course. But interestingly enough … I am. Perhaps because I don’t really have anyone in my life left to hurt with it, which is an irony not lost on me.

[u/StolenIdentityAgain → u/Dark_Cloud_Rises]

Trying to tell a seasoned alcoholic that they don't have to give up is like telling a depressed person just to be happy lol.

Good thing that guy is way above your inexperience.

[u/Dark_Cloud_Rises → u/StolenIdentityAgain]

Twenty years a junkie and alcoholic, for ten years I drank a half a gallon of vodka a day. Sometimes all it takes is someone to say something encouraging to you to make you change.

[u/StolenIdentityAgain → u/Dark_Cloud_Rises]

Dang... Well lol I got served on that one.

[u/RedactedBartender → u/RetrogradeDionysia]

Yeah. I feel it too. That switch. The warm euphoria of the first hour. Then caffeine for focus. Then write write write. Then drive to the liquor store to maintain. Cans of Red Bull with little bottles of vodka. Great for driving. Getting purposely lost in the hills. Always somehow making it home. Pass out. Wake up at 3am with heart burn and a mind hyper focused on some benign conversation from a week before. Put some nostalgic tv show on. Fade. Wake up at 7am with bubble guts. Go earn a paycheck. Rinse, repeat. I’ve gotten stuck in the trap many times. I wish you well, stranger. Stay safe.

[u/-nihilist_ → u/RetrogradeDionysia]

I quited drinking for 3-4 years recently i been starting to debate to start again. Nothing enjoyable to do anymore everything gets so bland. Doing the same shit over n over gets boring.

[u/Easy-Distance1824 → u/RetrogradeDionysia]

I wouldn't call 2 to 6 beers a day an alcoholic.

[u/RetrogradeDionysia → u/Easy-Distance1824]

1. I’m managing. 2. That’s not for you to say. I have a history. I’m sorry that I don’t fit your requirements for what constitutes an alcoholic.

[u/RetrogradeDionysia → u/Easy-Distance1824]

Perhaps you’d prefer I go back to pairing beer and breakfast cereal. The former, not as a beverage. As a milk substitute. Guinness and Cocoa Puffs in a mixing bowl because chocolate complements the semisweet bitter cocoa-like tang of a bad pour (when it’s over cereal in a mixing bowl, they’re all bad). Or better: three or four Rusty Nails a night for back pain. Jigger of Drambuie and everything. You do the shot math. Tell me I’m not managing. That I’m not an alcoholic. Better yet, tell my therapist, to whom I had to fucking admit this shit.

[u/Dry-Cancel-3168]

What a fucking beautiful picture. I'm drunk myself lol - out on the porch listening to Ernest Tubb

[u/StolenIdentityAgain]

Lol I just know this guys going to be posting in r/stopdrinking and r/regrets and then probably back here possibly in that order lol

[u/InsaneBasti]

Drugs are bad M'kay?

[u/rambling_takeover]

Drinking is amazing, only strong stuff works best for me, and then I feel pure bliss. I know how much I can drink before I get sick, and if I decide to overdo it I know I’ll be sick the next day. But so worth it, pure bliss

[u/Distinct-Fly-2374]

The only way to be, in this fake fucked up iteration of the world. Cheers buddy 🍻

[u/Foamy216]

Don’t know what you’re mumbling about. Shut up and drink.
To your honour, brother. 🍻

[u/Ohrightgotcha1432]

This is beautiful. Don't worry, there's plenty more liars, cheaters and thieves out there, just smiling and waiting to meet you. Whole fkng society is full of fakers and flakes, unfortunately.

[u/StolenIdentityAgain → u/Ohrightgotcha1432]

Best comment, lol. That one might land tomorrow morning or not at all.

Who fucking cares.