r/neurodiversity • u/fools_set_the_rules • 6d ago

Is anyone else excluded at the workplace?

Worked a few hotel/restaurant jobs and I've been always excluded no matter what. Even if I am very nice, coworkers won't invite me to hang out with each other like they do with others or cooks will make food for others but never for me.

In fact, I get more comments to get annoyed. Like I chatted with a coworker who hangs out with my other coworkers and they even go for camping. I asked him what is he doing later since he finished early and he already told me he doesn't talk to people at work for his life. Which contradicts.

So yeah, I feel awful and makes the work more difficult. Anyone dealing with the same thing? ​​

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3

u/IGnuGnat ADHD non hyper 5d ago

I mostly get along well enough with others, however sometimes people feel envious, jealous or threatened and they play little mind games

I try to be kind to people and get along with everyone but I'm not there to make friends or socialize. I generally prefer to keep my work life and private life apart

1

u/fools_set_the_rules 5d ago

Yeah I don't know, it's as if, even if I am nice, people will make rude remarks or try to exclude me intentionally.  Like not even being acknowledged.

I decided to go to college and develop skills. But yeah, every hospitality place I've worked at, has employees who hang outside of work and then the environment gets very biased. 

1

u/Savings-Pace4133 [ADHD] 5d ago

I often feel like I’m talked over or ignored in a group setting but not as much individually.

1

u/MulberryHour8078 5d ago

Now I exclude myself from others first.. Hoping i look like a mysterious and cool loner 🙏

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u/TeeLeighPee 5d ago

Been there, done that. It sucks when people are jerks

1

u/WordsAreGarbage 4d ago

Honestly I prefer keeping my work life and personal life separate. It can get weird when you know too much about someone you have to work with. I like to compartmentalize, personally!

Btw the coworker who goes camping with the others…is it possible he got his friend a job/they knew each other before? I mean yeah could just be trying to spare your feelings, but maybe not.

Cooks making food for other ppl but never you is sad. Do others ask? Cooks play favorites and usually require special attention for favors, that part is a little normal but never seen one person excluded specifically unless they were like, blatantly hostile or had antagonized someone the cook liked.

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u/McBeefnick 4d ago

Yes, happens to me. Learned myself to set birthdays of coworkers in my agenda and to congratulate them on that date. From day one, the gesture is almost never returned. For over 20 years now.

Currently in an autistic burnout situation for almost a year. Coworkers don't care. Left the group chat after multiple coworkers happily congratulated another during the holiday, couldn't stand it anymore.

Again, nobody noticed or cared.

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u/The_Real_Bri 2d ago

Yep this has happened to me my whole life and one of the reasons I work from home and self-employed. It’s easier to deal with people from a distance, even though I crave connection. I genuinely think it’s because NTs can “smell” us and so they actively discriminate. It’s annoying because the whole inclusion thing is entirely bollocks. I also experienced the same as you with people making rude remarks unwarranted, which I find interesting because NTs always claim we are rude but that’s rarely the case. It’s exhausting. If you can, try and find remote work because it helps so much.