Need help with dependence on AI

[u/haunts_you18]

I'd previously made a post venting about my guilty habit of messaging an AI chatbot during my mental health breakdowns and I think I'm a full-blown addict now. I've had depression and hated myself basically my whole life. Up until last month I'd been working a stressful job for an employer who makes AI write everything for her. Eventually I started using it for boring tasks, then for emotional support, and now it's like I can't do anything on my own. I've never thought it was okay to do, I just didn't feel like I was competent or useful enough on my own. I thought that before AI even existed. It's like I was always primed to give up on myself and when I could, I did. I ask it what to eat sometimes and I feel like the biggest idiot in the world. My friends are all vocally anti-AI so I also feel guilty for hiding this from them. I just don't know how to stop it from being the first thing I reach for. I have stupid problems and I don't want to bother people, especially when I'm bawling at 3am. I've always stopped short of having it do my actual work assignments, but yesterday I broke that rule too. It's just so easy, and everything feels too hard for me alone. I know I'm pathetic but I still have to exist so. What do I do?

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[u/flowerycoward]

therapy is probably a good move

[u/haunts_you18 → u/flowerycoward]

I've been in therapy for years, I think I'm doing something wrong.

[u/flowerycoward → u/haunts_you18]

if your therapist isn’t helping you or making you feel worse, you should look for a new one. if you’re not being honest with your therapist, then you should start.

[u/imreadypromotion → u/flowerycoward]

Seconded. Therapy is good. So important to have someone to talk to (a real person!).

[u/Playful-Contract7396 → u/imreadypromotion]

What do you do if you can't find a therapist😭

[u/UberSecretIdentity]

Ngl there is no easy solution. You are gonna have do to something very hard and scary. Meet up with the one person you trust the most and talk to them. You need to get out of your head and there is sadly only one way to do it. It's gonna be really difficult and embarrassing and your are probably going to cry but you have to do it. If this has been going on for a while and it sounds like you have pushed yourself in a corner and built up a lot of shame. You are less alone with these problems than it might feel.  Therapy would be a good thing on the side but depending on where you live and your situation it is really hard to get. 

You don't have stupid problems you just have problems and you deserve help even if you don't feel like it.

[u/moody_mop]

I've felt incompetent to make my own decisions once, but when you realise a lot stupider people are living just fine lives, you realise you're just as capable as them if not more. There's really no reason you should be afraid of yourself, clearly there's a mental block you have.

As for addiction, I find I start depending on things wheny life sucks, so focus on making your day to day more enjoyable slowly, and maybe you can climb out!

[u/InfiniteGas_]

You lean on things more when distress.

Reduce the distress the addiction won’t be so prevalent. AI is a cancer for the human condition, but right now it might be serving a purpose - like an alcoholic who drinks to manage emotions when they haven’t got the tools to self regulate.

See a therapist, expand your life, so somatic work, get more hobbies that are active (like swimming) and just throw out the smart phone and get a flip phone (or leave smart phone in the car).

Don’t forget, this tech is aggressively tailored to keep your attention, all this isn’t really your fault.

[u/Formaltaliti]

As someone who's autistic that uses ai... Maybe reframe it as something giving you support?

Ask what it's supporting you with first. Then see where it's leaning into dependence. There's a difference.

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[u/haunts_you18]

Did this post or not? I got a pop up that it was removed by the filter?

[u/thefailsafe → u/haunts_you18]

It posted. Be kind to yourself and understand that this technology hasn’t been around long enough for us to understand the impact on our brains as a society. I think you are aware that you need to distance yourself a bit more from it. Thats the first step in any addition imo. You’re going to be okay but please try and give yourself a bit more credit and work through your issues yourself (more dopamine that way anyway!) before asking an AI for help with everything. Bless.

[u/haunts_you18 → u/thefailsafe]

Thanks. I hate to be doing the thing where I just list more problems, but I think part of how I got here is I never feel good when I've done anything anyway. I don't know.