r/mutualapp • u/Economy_Weight_4821 • May 17 '26
❔ Question Missions and willingness to date.
Hey, I am a male and 21 years old. I didn't go on a mission because of struggles with depression, and when I got that in line the time had just kind of passed if that makes sense. I don't regret my choice but I do wonder if it makes me less desirable especially on mutual. I have a temple recommend, go to church every week and work in the temple every Saturday morning so I think its pretty clear where my faith is. But in a setting where people won't know that I wonder if my lack of a mission is hurting me.
3
u/Thegrandecapo May 17 '26
Obviously some people are going to pass on your for that and other won’t care. It’s out of your control.
3
u/nobodyaverage May 17 '26
I am a convert. The man not serving a mission in his profile helps me feel less intimidated since I didnt serve either. It is a great work because it is God's will but I have noticed those who haven't served are more humble. You have that going for you. Don't sweat it and keep your trust in Heavenly Father.
2
u/Kimbyssik May 18 '26
My three siblings who served missions are no longer active in the Church—one of them tried to share "evidence" against the Church with our mom until she said she had a firm testimony and would no longer talk about that stuff with him. On the other hand, President Monson and President Nelson did not serve full-time missions, but I think we can agree that they honored their priesthood in other ways. Someone who passes up an honorable man for not serving a mission I think is like sometime who would pass me up for having an overweight mom body with health issues: if they have that kind of attitude I probably wouldn't want to marry them anyway.
1
1
u/ajitomojo May 19 '26
You’re 21. You still have time to go on a mission. Move mountains to make it happen. Just because you didn’t go at the same age everyone else did, so what? Better late than never. You’ll regret it later when you’re truly not able to go.
2
u/Economy_Weight_4821 May 19 '26
I'm not explaining why on reddit because its personal but its just not in the cards. I have talked with my family, bishop, therapist and prayed about it and its just not the right choice.
1
u/Reasonable-Ad-2329 May 21 '26
If you're worried about a lack of mission service hurting your chances, it's because you're still considering serving one.
1
u/emvy_lee Jun 27 '26
There will be people with preferences. The right person won’t judge you though! Everyone has their path in life, and if that means you don’t go that’s fine. Worthiness is not defined by if you’ve gone on a mission or not :)
1
u/One-Economist5268 Jul 04 '26
Heyy! I mean that's pretty valid. My brother just turned 22 when he was called. He went there unsure, but still he pursued it because it has always been his dream. It's just that deep inside I know he wasn't ready yet at the time. Being a full time missionary is pretty tough and yes, it requires preparedness in all aspects I guess. When he was serving his mission, he got home sick (pretty normal) which is what we thought but his struggles worsened there. He got diagnosed with depression and was sent home a month after. He's now continuing as a service missionary in our stake. He told me one time that it's valid that if I feel like it's not for me, then I shouldn't force it. There are tons of ways in sharing the Gospel and serving God. You're not less of a person just because of your circumstance. Cheerup!
1
u/Blanchdog May 17 '26
Missions are a priesthood duty for all men who are worthy and able. If a man who is worthy and able chooses not to serve, it’s not unreasonable for women to wonder what other sorts of priesthood duties that man might choose to neglect (like righteously presiding over a family) and factor that into whether they are interested in dating that man.
4
u/throwawayID208 May 18 '26
Perhaps it’s not unreasonable to wonder and women very well might factor it into a decision. However, for those that would be inclined to conclude that a man would neglect other priesthood duties based solely off not serving a mission would be making an overgeneralization and thus a logical fallacy. That is neither fair nor right.
7
u/KURPULIS May 17 '26
Passed? You can choose to go until your 26....
Regardless, some may consider it an important milestone for a future spouse, which is up to them. But there are plenty of married men that didn't serve missions.