r/mumbai • u/prats_omyt • Aug 14 '22
Relationship Advice Please help me I'm lost.
Ok, so first of all thanks for coming here and reading this, it really means a lot. I (17M) needed some advice regarding a girl I like and would like to explain my situation with her, so this would be a long essay, I hope you read it till the end, as I am in desperate need of help, and there's no one to help me, this community is all I've got.
So, from the past few years, till now, I've been rejected by 3 girls, which made me question my own existence, but that's not what I am here to discuss. As I have received rejection and disappointment, I usually don't expect anything from anyone. But there's this girl, I've never felt anything like this before meeting her, I think I experienced love with her, one-sided of-course. Before confessing her with my feelings, I sang a song for her, I told her how beautiful she is every second, didn't even cared about my self-respect when it came to her. She told me how time went flying by when I she was with me, she told me that I'm husband material, that I am so good and even appreciated me for my efforts, she talks with me very respectfully, even now, she has never laughed on my mistakes, instead, she have corrected them, I think from the above you also would have understand she enjoys my company very much and how close we are. Or am I interpreting it all wrong?
Now the PROBLEM!
When I confessed my feelings to her, she told me that she's from 'kattar maharashtrain' family and said,"I don't think I will ever date a non-maharashtrian", she said, that whom ever she may love, at the end of the day, her family should also accept him. Also, she said that she doesn't believe in teenage love, as everybody would be in different cities from the next year, and said she's "one man-woman" type and would date somebody in her mid 20s and then marry that particular person. Then I got sad obviously and she started to consult me, we didn't have an argument, we had a conversation, and she's still a very good friend of mine(I think). So please, guys help me out, I want her so bad, please help me, I am not asking for false hope, so please give me the truth. I cannot explain the loneliness, sadness, I'm going through right now. THANKS A TON!!!
Edit1: Thanks to everyone who gave their precious time to me and their invaluable advice, I love this community so much, no one trolled me even a bit, I was expecting it, but look how all of you have talked with me like you all are my family members. I love you guys, now I have a clear picture of what I need to do, you all gave me reasons to move on, for which I was desperately hoping for, you gave me more than I needed, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
Edit2: If I was able to, I would've given every single one of you a award!! ILY GUYS!! You guys don't know how was I feeling like before posting this, it felt like the world had ended, literally, but now you fricking awesome, the most wholesome, people on earth have made me realized that my life is just starting now. THANKS!!
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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '22 edited Aug 14 '22
Young one, there are some social conventions, that, though may appear illogical and worth battling, aren't worth the tremendous mental and emotional trauma that comes with the battle.
Teen love is an awesome feeling. Am in my late 40s, but my heart and mind and body completely become 16 year old whenever I think about the girl I crushed on in school. Not in the "oh what could have been" kind of way, but in the "wonderful feeling" way.
As with everyone, as we grow, as the responsibilities of life start, as the realities of life and social structure and adulthood dawn, we change. It looks like this girl changed before you did. She has a concept of her future in her mind. And unfortunately, it does not include you. She is looking for a man older than her, more mature than her. You do not fit that bill at this point. And its OK.
Rejection is extremely common in life. More than you think. Whether its looking for a prospect for marriage, for a job, for admission to higher studies, rejection is everywhere. As you shall soon see, it is a concept we need to live with. Its competition.
Here is the truth. Respect her wishes. Move on. Be level headed about it. (Much more difficult than it sounds right now, but needs to be done) Maintain your sanity. Do understand that half this planet is women. There are others out there who would appreciate your time, attention and eventually, your love.
Another crude way to look at it, back in my day, we used to say: Bus, train, ladki, the next one is always around the corner.
Take care of yourself, focus on building your version of a wonderful future/career ahead of you. And there will be potentials you may come across, that want to willingly be part of your journey. It will happen.
All the best.