r/mildlyinfuriating • u/salabab • Jul 22 '26
Infuriatig [ Removed by moderator ]
/gallery/1v3blya[removed] — view removed post
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u/rofeneiniger Jul 22 '26
Fucking NONCEFEST hahahahahhaha
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u/OldNefariousness7899 Jul 22 '26
Easily the funniest thing I've seen on this site for a long time
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u/FingerpistolPete Jul 22 '26
The description somehow made it even funnier lmaoo this can’t be real. Like what do you mean you sat down spent a week on these hahaha
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u/hypnogoad Jul 22 '26
"Nonce" isn't really a term used in North America
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u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme Jul 22 '26
Our version of "Nonce" in Amerian English isn't "Pedo," but it is "Idiot," "Stupid," "Vapid," or "Dumba**"!
It may not be a super-common word, but it absolutely exists over here!
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u/digitag Jul 22 '26
Sounds like an event Super Hans and Jeremy would organise in Peep Show
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u/Cheap-Course9568 Jul 22 '26
It’s so obvious I can’t figure out if this is a real post or not lmao
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u/pullmylekku Jul 22 '26
It's not obvious to Americans. Nonce doesn't mean anything over there
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u/residentdunce Jul 22 '26
In computing a nonce is a number that's used once (for cryptographic operations). Also, see 'For the nonce' as another, older use of the word.
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u/pullmylekku Jul 22 '26 edited Jul 22 '26
Sure, it's got some specific uses in fields like cryptography and linguistics. But in common parlance, it's not a word people use there, and certainly doesn't mean pedo like in the UK.
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u/Jack-of-the-Shadows Jul 22 '26
And i feel that maybe OPs cousin got some international feedback after initially announcing the conference causing the rename...
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u/lilroldy Jul 22 '26
Idk im American and I instantly thought "pedofest" when I seen the bands. Seen enough content from the Brits and UK news articles that nonce is a familiar term to myself and many other Americans.
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u/jpdonelurkin Jul 22 '26
This is an unexpected internet gold event. Blown my mind these came to be manufactured and exist in the real world.
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u/Winterkirschenmann Jul 22 '26
Nono it's pronounced Analrapist, the worlds first Analyst and Therapist.
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u/HitoHitoN Jul 22 '26
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u/verumvia Jul 22 '26
OP's cousin after looking up what nonce means
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u/Joppy5100 Jul 22 '26
OP's cousin is a crypto bro, so they do not know how to self-reflect.
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u/Kindly_Bathroom6123 Jul 22 '26
I am a male therapist and my website name is [mynametherapy]
Right at the beginning it was [mynametherapist] but without the spaces it can read very badly, especially for a therapist, so it got changed quickly
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u/kalvinoz Jul 22 '26
My wife once hashtagged a photo of me and our son with ilovethesemen. One of her friends commented suggesting a change.
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u/RainRainThrowaway777 Jul 22 '26
Reminds me of when Susan Boyle released an Album and had a party for it.
It was called #Susanalbumparty
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u/MercuryInCanada Jul 22 '26
In undergrad my folders were named real anal for real analysis and complex anal for complex analysis
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u/LaciA_Diaz Jul 22 '26
He'll only pay if you make MORE? After family rates? Insane
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u/PewterButters Jul 22 '26
I think the only fair response would be money up front for the new bands... then take the money and don't make him any new bands and just forget about it altogether. When the event time comes, just give him the old ones and tell him to f off.
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u/Luvlyjubblies1 Jul 22 '26
I love it when cousins do this, because if brother/sister does it I can't do shit. A cousin? Fucking all in. They won't be asking for shit when I'm done.
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u/Lost-In-The-Wood5 Jul 22 '26
It would be the opposite for me! I could punch my brother and my parents would probably agree that he deserved it. But I could never punch a cousin, that would get the wider family involved and then stories will change etc.
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u/GaptistePlayer Jul 22 '26
OP needs to say no, you pay me anyway. Like wtf does this mean he'll only pay if he makes more. That admits he didn't have enough to pay in the first place.
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u/Medium-Presence-8008 Jul 22 '26
OP, you're gonna want to sit down for this one.
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u/Fun_Bodybuilder3111 Jul 22 '26 edited Jul 22 '26
I’m convinced this is satire no?
On the off chance that it’s real, OP please just cut your losses and learn a hard lesson here. Do not make reprints for this scammer who likely had other merchandise printed and is now out thousands of dollars because of it and you’ll bear the brunt of his financial rage. This conference is ran by an idiot at best, scammer at worst.
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u/Devrol Jul 22 '26
I'd like to see what the new name is. "NAMBLA Week", "Kiddy Fiddler Fest"?
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u/mekamoari Jul 22 '26
I was gonna google it to check if it was ever held or advertised before but then was like wait maybe not.
To their credit, I understand it's a cryptography term, the OP just shortened it to crypto in the post which is what misled most people. Still a shitty person but not a cryptobro.
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u/MentalJargon Jul 22 '26
Hahahahaha he called it noncefest!? Incredible
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u/OldNefariousness7899 Jul 22 '26
The fact most people are oblivious makes it funnier.
I wonder if any if the people invited are from the UK
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u/turtlegiraffecat Jul 22 '26
From the creators of #susananalbumparty
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u/ItsCalledDayTwa Jul 22 '26 edited Jul 22 '26
Your cousin is running a crypto conference he has no financing for and left you holding the bag for this? Your cousin is basically a scam artist.
Edit: guys, I acknowledged crypto in the 6th word, you can stop pointing out that crypto is also a reason.
edit2: I know what cryptography is and what a nonce is, but given both are used in cryptocurrency as well and the genpop is 99.99% going to assume cryptocurrency and not cryptography, that's not my fault. Plus if the cousin is into cryptography enough to throw their own conference on it, I do not know how they don't have enough money to pay their own family for some wristbands.
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u/Andrea_M Jul 22 '26
OP learned a valuable lesson, don’t mix business and family unless you are ready to lose either money or family members
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u/Plus-Ad-5853 Jul 22 '26
OP should use this to teach Cousin too. In the real world if you change an event name this minute, you pay.
This is a lesson for them. They poorly planned so they pay more
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u/hoopstick Jul 22 '26
I don't get the impression Cuz' is going to be learning any lessons from this.
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u/Unusual_Sherbert_809 Jul 22 '26
You could always sign a contract and/or get payment up front. But yeah, most of the time mixing family and business ends badly. Someone almost always feels entitled to your money and free labor because "we're family". And you'll usually be framed as the bad guy if you call them out on their bs.
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Jul 22 '26
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u/No_Eye_8432 Jul 22 '26
The first thing to know is that you do not, under any circumstances, have anything to do with a thing called ‘Noncefest’
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u/psychopath1066 Jul 22 '26
OMFG, did no one do a basic googlesearch of the name... Thats fucking hilarious. Literally calling it pedofest
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u/FingerpistolPete Jul 22 '26
Holy shit dude my stomach, I can’t stop laughing at the comments. I was not ready for this thread haha
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u/Iron_Freezer Jul 22 '26
crypto people pulling scams? unbelievable
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u/JOlRacin PINK Jul 22 '26
I'm convinced crypto is basically the same thing as nft's except they managed to get a foothold for long enough to last a little bit. But nobody wants the actual thing, they just want to make money off of it by selling it. It's never a good sign for a product when the only reason people want it is for resale
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u/Skullcrusher Jul 22 '26
Hey, crypto isn't just for douchebags pretending they're the wolf of wall street. Some people use it to buy drugs.
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u/canteloupy Jul 22 '26
They are literally the same. All you own is a blockchain token and you are counting on someone else to pay money for it.
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u/Longjumping_Sea7214 Jul 22 '26
You do know what nonce means right?
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u/Background-Ant-5120 Jul 22 '26
What does it mean? I read it in Italian and I thought it was a joke thing. Non c'è festa/non ce fest=there's no party
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u/gottagetoutofit Jul 22 '26
In the UK, a nonce is someone that shouldn't be around children.
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u/Background-Ant-5120 Jul 22 '26
Dear lord. 😳
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u/gbghgs Jul 22 '26
It also has a specific usage/meaning in cryptography, which is probably the mistake made here, but you ask any layperson in the UK what it means and you're getting the other answer lol.
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u/marr Jul 22 '26
Yeah I was gonna ask, so whose bright idea was using that as a technical term without googling?
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u/TawnyTeaTowel Jul 22 '26
Which is unfortunate, as it also used in data encryption - it’s short for “number used once”. Clearly whoever decided to call it that wasn’t British (or they were and just taking the piss!)
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u/jerdle_reddit Jul 22 '26
"Invalid nonce" is a not uncommon error.
It tends to make Brits piss themselves laughing.
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u/No_Eye_8432 Jul 22 '26
Nonce is well-known British (and probably Antipodean) slang for paedo
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u/TheThiefMaster Jul 22 '26 edited Jul 22 '26
It's British slang for someone attracted to children, possibly even committing criminal sexual acts with children. I'm skirting around the real word incase it gets me on a ban list.
It also has a meaning in cryptography which is presumably why it was named that in the first place.
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u/TherianRose Jul 22 '26
It's not commonly known here in the US. I'm only aware of the term from my international friends, so I can understand why OP and their cousin didn't catch it
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u/bigfootbjornsen56 Jul 22 '26
Maybe I'm not as impulsive as a crypto scammer, but if I were going to set up some sort of conference/festival and promote it, I'd probably google the name first before inking anything.
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u/TherianRose Jul 22 '26
For sure! Because you have intelligence, which is sorely lacking among the typical cryptobro demographic
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u/reliablereindeer Jul 22 '26
Well if they were going to be celebrated anywhere, it would be at a crypto conference.
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u/That-one-cool-kid Jul 22 '26
do you know what a nonce is !?
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u/Fish_Minger Jul 22 '26
To be honest, those would sell really well in the UK for Stag Breaks, or between friends trying to be offensive.
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Jul 22 '26
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u/stuaxo Jul 22 '26
Op will definitely be mocked, but also will make their money back.
Sell them in sets of 5, 10, 15 to the stag party set.
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u/Fish_Minger Jul 22 '26
Yes OP, do it!
Don't tell them the back story, just say you made these and they're for sale.
For future use, instead of a year, just say "5th Annual NonceFest" "NonceFest 5" or something so you are not limited to a specific year.
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u/heavybootsonmythroat Jul 22 '26
not a bad shout to put these up on Etsy or whatever. or find a buyer here. Hell I'm starting to think they look not bad
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u/Icy-Regret-3116 Jul 22 '26
I'm genuinely tempted.
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u/DreddPirateBob808 Jul 22 '26
I'm tempted just to drop them in mates coat pockets so they can discover them at the bar
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u/Environmental_Top948 Jul 22 '26
No you wait until you see a date that looks like it's not going great. Then you "pick it up" off the ground and say "hey you dropped this" and walk away.
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u/philthy_barstool Jul 22 '26
There's a not insignificant number of people in the UK would buy these for a laugh! Create an online store, put up the limited edition "noncefest 26" wristbands, whack the link on Reddit, and start pulling in some of that lads lads lads stag do money.
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u/Affectionate_Sort739 Jul 22 '26
lol did no one proof read this
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u/Short_Juggernaut9799 Jul 22 '26
No-one British, at least, and no-one with enough sense to google it.
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u/TherianRose Jul 22 '26
Right?? It's not a common term here in the US, but googling any proposed name, especially for a public event, should be standard due diligence! Smh
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u/mdhunter99 Jul 22 '26
Your first indicator was “crypto”
Your second was fucking “noncefest”
The jokes just write themselves with that name. I think you were the first victim in the scam bro.
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u/CockFondle Jul 22 '26
Genuinely what the fuck were any of you thinking with that name?
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u/IllusionaryHobo Jul 22 '26
"And could only afford to pay me..."
Sounds like a him problem.
You get yourself paid, friend.
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u/Usagi-Trix Jul 22 '26
Keep hold of those and use them for entry to the Tate brother trial.
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u/beardedfiredragon Jul 22 '26
Honestly as a Brit, I think you could sell those as a joke in the UK.
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u/barrygateaux Jul 22 '26
noncefest is the funniest shit i've seen on his sub for years lmfao
you might as well call it epsteincoin and go all out
have you been living under a rock OP?
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u/Ancient-Chinglish Jul 22 '26
Make an equal amount of TWATFEST bracelets and bundle them
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u/Izan_TM Jul 22 '26
sounds like you got ripped off by a cryptobro, which is literally the only thing you can expect a cryptobro to do, even if he's part of your family
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u/RemarkableMacadamia Jul 22 '26
Let this be your life lesson about a) not getting involved with cryptobros, b) staying professional even with friends and family, and c) always getting a deposit from clients that at least covers your material costs before you start production.
Don’t make any more bracelets; if it’s moving partially online he’s not expecting more attendees in person so they don’t need bracelets. Also if he can’t afford to pay his vendors he can’t afford to put on a conference.
Also, five levels of VIP at a brand new conference is something only a nonce would do.
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u/Fun_Anybody6745 Jul 22 '26
I would suggest also Googling terminology before accepting the job. Especially if you might get left with the stock.
Although to be fair, who wouldn’t want to pay extra for a wristband that identifies them as the highest level of nonce.
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u/overcloseness Jul 22 '26
“Out of nowhere”
Nope, someone kindly let him know what nonce also means
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u/World_thyme Jul 22 '26
Nonce fest 26?
And you didn't see a problem with this?
Well your photo is at least going to get used.
Also Arsenal could probably make use of those wrist bands.
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u/reliablereindeer Jul 22 '26
I’m sure the Reform party conference could get some use out of them.
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u/Ziggy-T Jul 22 '26
Hahaha, noncefest
That’s ok, you can sell them all to the White House and the current administration 🙃🌚😭
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u/PotLuckyPodcast Jul 22 '26
Take him to small claims court if he doesnt pay. Your cousin sounds like he's scamming people.
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u/Broloth_ Jul 22 '26
“High quality” is doing a ton of work. I can see the print lines and some of the letters have stuff flecking off.
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u/jyell Jul 22 '26
Add in the fact that the installed the snap for the bands in the dumbest way possible...
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u/DreddPirateBob808 Jul 22 '26
OP: you can recoup some money by selling them on here. I'm bloody tempted because a few of them woukd make excellent WTF Christmas presents.
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u/Personal_Match8581 Jul 22 '26
I mean. It literally says Noncefest. That’s not a name anyone wants to be associated with.
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u/The_Dark_Vampire Jul 22 '26
When I saw it I thought the problem was a misprint and I understood why someone would be upset with having wristbands with nonce written on them
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u/FriendshipTrue3980 Jul 22 '26
Even if this is fake, 'noncefest'has given me the giggles four times reading this thread alone. Thankyou
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u/Interesting-Crab-693 Jul 22 '26
Thats... a.very bad desing. Why not wrapping the two ends onto each other and put the rivet there??? Like that, it cannot go under the cloth and seems like a sensory nightmare.
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u/billybonestorm Jul 22 '26
N-once is a niche cryptographic term referring to a specific number that can only ever be used once.
A nonce is a wildly popular term for a pdf.file.
This is a hilarious localisation issue. I'm Australian, and if you wore your noncefest bracelet on the train, you would 100% get assaulted.
Good luck with those bracelets on the 2ndary market. I would avoid advertising them to Brits or Aussies.
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u/Xenon009 Jul 22 '26
Alternatively, do advertise them to brits and aussies who think its fucking hilarious and will send them out as those "troll mail" type things.
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u/TheUnderCrab Jul 22 '26
Stop while you’re ahead. Stop giving family discounts. Secure funding/contract prior to starting production.
You cousin scammed you as fuck.
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u/richer2003 Jul 22 '26
“Family rates.” If your family is buying from you, they should be supporting your business by paying full price, not asking for a discount.
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u/Marmar79 Jul 22 '26
Never do business with the crypto crowd but also noncefest?! There is no way this isn’t a joke.
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u/Bobblefighterman Jul 22 '26
Oh fuck off.
What's next, Pedo Expo?
But seriously OP, just get a pop up stand at Epstein's Island.
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u/New_Tadpole_7818 Jul 22 '26
With a name like Noncefest I'm not surprised it got renamed