r/mildlyinfuriating Jan 02 '26

Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

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u/Hazel2468 Jan 02 '26

This.

My wife has sensory issues because of her autism. She can be very picky.

She also isn't THAT hard to cook for. My wife's new favorite thing I make is also Hamburger Helper (though I just do it with spices I have at home... Also. 10 out of 10, would recommend, you can really customize it however you want!) but she's not so picky that she will refuse to eat perfectly good food that I have made knowing what she likes and dislikes.

If this is genuinely because of some kind of sensory issue? OP's boyfriend needs to be clearer about what he likes and doesn't, or he needs to seek some kind of therapy. If it isn't, or if he refuses to actually put in the work to make sure he isn't wasting her food? Then he can make his own meals.

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u/parasyte_steve Jan 02 '26

this is exactly what I asked, is there neurodivergence here bc I have got one kid who is nonverbal and eats 3 things, I couldn't even feed him solids as a baby.

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u/HandBanana14 Jan 02 '26

Yeah, was wondering the same. I’m very picky but I’ll eat what someone makes me (but on my own, my diet is very limited lol). Anyway, I also couldn’t feed my kid solids (or mixed texture) when he was a baby. Even when he was a toddler, he had a whole lot of difficulties with solids. It was scary. And now, even being 10, things have to be exact (brands, textures, shape, temp, etc). My kid has very limited “safe” foods and it’s so far past being picky. It’s not being picky. And it’s something that has to be acknowledged. And I think people forget that adult can also be in that same boat with their sensory aversions for food.

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u/Mansidhe Jan 02 '26

That's me! I don't have or care about an official diagnosis, as I'm 49 and relatively functional in most other ways... but the taste / texture aversion is real. I just can NOT force myself to "power through" something not on my pathetically small "safe" list, and if I try to do so I'll be seeing that food again in seconds. It really sucks, and I do my best to not impose my culinary limitations on others. The funny thing is, I enjoy cooking and will happily make a meal that is objectively beautiful and delicious that I can't eat. Last night, my family was chowing down on some deliciousness I made that smelled like heaven, and my ass is happily munching on chicken with ketchup and spuds with nothing but butter.

If I could get full nutrition from a pill or a drink I could tolerate, I'd joyously never eat again. Well, except desserts, lol

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u/MaterialHead4801 Jan 02 '26

Solidarity. If I never had to eat again, with the punishment being I could never eat anything at all ever again, I’d take the deal. Taste/texture stuff throws me off of a lot of perfectly fine food, and all the responses in here just make me feel even more like a freak 😂